Paedophilia

the only women I am really attracted to are women alot older than me like in the late 30's. I am not attracted to girls my age, that's why I have fantasies about older and younger (although younger are pure fantasies for jacking off older are something Id do for real if given a chance).

neuterdbynature, the thing is I ran itno it when i was young (teenager about 15 or so), so it really grossed me out at first but after awhile it kept pulling me in like a disease (addiction) wanting to see mroe and more, to put myself in the mind of these people, to see this world of taboo. It was like the worse it was the more it drew me in, I couldnt stop myself for trying to find it, and I used to jack off like 9 times a day in those days now its around 6 or so, I am incredibly horny and frustrated.

in my mind i use to think pedophiles are sick and twisted and i use to think the same about gays. my view on gays are completely the opposite now but still iffy on the pedophiles i mean.... adults, grown people lusting after the little ones... it doesnt seem too right. who has seem the movie "the woodsman"? very interesting and actually made me think about this. maybe they REALLY cant help it...still doesnt seem right. but still...

"how.empty.of.me.to.be.so.full.of.you"

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neuterdbynature, the thing is I ran itno it when i was young (teenager about 15 or so), so it really grossed me out at first but after awhile it kept pulling me in like a disease (addiction) wanting to see mroe and more, to put myself in the mind of these people, to see this world of taboo. It was like the worse it was the more it drew me in, I couldnt stop myself for trying to find it, and I used to jack off like 9 times a day in those days now its around 6 or so, I am incredibly horny and frustrated.

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if its able to pull you in the more graphic/ taboo it gets then it might end up luring u into a wrong path which you might not be able to get out of. Thats how addictions work, and if you don;t stop it will ruine your life....

"What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

Strangler, I'm scared. You need help. Sure, it's human nature to attempt to capture the forbidden, that enticement that ensnares us all, albiet towards differnt endings, but that sorta shit gets you a room with a big lock you can't open. Quit it out of, just like Marijuana or Crack, It'll break you.

""As I sit before the fire, I wonder how many before myself have been burned.'"

I do quit looking at porn (the only porn that ever gets me excited anymore are the really taboo stuff) but after a few days or a week it keeps drawing me back beging for me to look at it, I cant help it.

Thats not quitting! thats just taking momentary pauses between porn gazing. Sure it is hard to try and quit cold turky but in this case it would be for the best. I know it sounds like we are picking on you [ and we kinda are] but its for the best. We are trying to prevent the worst form evolving, before it hurts some one[ a child].

Your trying to rationalize your actions, making so many exuses and thats exactly what Pedophiles do. They end up rationalizing the terrible acts they commit so many times that the subject of what they are doing just becomes a mute subject/ problem.

"What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

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I dont even have a job and still live with my mom so I cant afford dates .....the only women I am really attracted to are women alot older than me like in the late 30's.
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Strangler, You know if you don't have money for dates and are into older women, then why don't you try and get yourself a good *Sugar Mama* That way your money problems will not prevent you from getting some butty, and you'll be getting it from an adult and not a child
*Food For Thought*

"What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

I am invisible to women, and when one once in a great while actually does smile at me all I do is say hia dns he back and I never see her again. I was always shy with an ifneriority complex, and it doesnt help that not a single female took the initiative and flirted with me in my life.

shyness isnt an excuse. i am the same way. and i actually am inferior so dont even give me that. if you want a relationship you have to work at it, work at obtaining it, work at maintaining it... all that stuff. i think youre just lazy.

"I am Akba-Atatdia"

I would think that older women would be easier to approach, agian if your a *good looking* 20yr old you'll be like catnip to them....[lol]

And wyote is right, all things require a bit of work, whether strainuous or easy, if you don;t put your self out there then you have no one lese to blame but yourself

"What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

women can get sex anyitme they want, guys approach them all the time from all directions sometimes whistling from cars, or as theyre walking down the street. Womena re the choosers, they choose who they date, money is a very big factor in this choosing. social status is another.

Also, I have asked a few times girls/women and was rejected every time, one time she even made em feel really stupid by saying next time don't follow me or stand near me for too long or something before leaving. All I did was ask ehr the time and said thankyou. I hate women and females.

well girls/women are a bit complex but whistling from cars is not the way to get a girl or atleast not one with self respect. If you take that approach you'll never get laid

"What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive"

no but hot girls get so many desperate guys after them all the time, that you have to be outstanding to be able to get chosen isntead of all those guys.