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..interesting that Feb is a suicide time 
And I must agree with those who say "it's the most selfish act " merely because it hurts, and betrays those left behind who loved you (and there is always somebody, even if it's just your dog!)
But I can easily relate to those suicidal feelings. Yesterday my small business which I carefully built up over many years,
folded. Just like that, overnight, squeezed out of existence by a greedy more powerful competitor.
And after the initial shock, tears, and facing a future without any foreseeable income, I find myself actually contemplating suicide.
Now asking myself what is really going on behind these thoughts? I find it is unquestionably : ANGER 
But angry at what?!
Small businesses go under every single day, and what of it if I have to move, give up my lifestyle...
In a former time of my life, when I still believed in God, I would have liked to imagine that some higher power had a better plan for me.
But now that I am wiser, I know this is not true. And I am so tired of being a pawn-on-the-chessboard of life...
But would I commit suicide? Mmm, tempting to think of escape..., but NEVER could I do something so cruel and thoughtless to these people in my life ( even though having this conviction doesnt make me feel any better about myself...)
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