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Timmo, i think its not really about belief. For sure, when I went to church as a kid, I used to sit and listen to all this claptrap of God and Jesus and of all these mighty words, only to see a collection of money go around to vuild the church, so more claptrap could be said. Whilst the vicar stood and preached mighty words, and all the people listened, some poor kid was getting his ass kicked outside, some good 'Christian' dying from a horrible disease. These things are all human, all systematic, all lacking understanding.
I cant really tell you what God is, why he is. But I'm for sure 'he' is not a he. And he's not external, but really, internal, like a peace beyond confusion-hence the saying 'peace surpasses understanding'.
All I can say is go sit with someone who is spiritual. Someone really spiritual. Make take some looking but, just try. Theres no need to ask them about God, instead, talk about simple things, everyday things. What you will get is a sense of calm about them, a sense of wisdom, a sense that somehow the eminate something that draws you to them. This is a feeling. You cant really 'see' it, but its there. You may be cynical and just say; its just this chemical combining with this chemical, influenced by this event. Thats okay...but keep digging. 'Its hard to see the full picture with your nose squashed up against the canvas'.
""No words""
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