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I hate people and feel better alone

User Thread
 41yrs • F •
Ericka is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I hate people and feel better alone
Sometimes I feel like I just hate everyone and much prefer being by myself than around other people.

I feel like people always act fake in person – like they're always talking about meaningless things and you have to act the same way back in order to have a conversation. I just can't sustain it and it makes me feel depressed.

Does anyone else feel this way? Like you hate people and you just want to be left alone? I feel more calm when I am by myself. Sometimes I feel like it would be nice to talk or do something with another person but I got sick of the friends I had because of their fakeness and when I meet new people they all seem to be the same. I don't like the way people socialize and say the same meaningless shit when they meet people. That drives me crazy and makes me feel like I hate everyone. There have been times when I've gone out and I come home and feel so fed up that I have to stop and ask myself why do I hate everyone, other people seem to be fine with it, maybe it's me that has the problem??

It just ends up feeling like I'm happier alone.

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 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that A Kindred Heart is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Hi Ericka,

You seem so distressed and I hope I can help you. Basically, it sounds like you are overwhelming yourself by trying to be like other people when you are not. If you're someone that prefers to be by yourself, then just do that, don't try going against your own feelings. Some people are extremely outgoing and need to be around people all the time. Other people are more introverted. Maybe you end up feeling like you hate everyone simply because you are pressuring yourself to go out. So it's not that you hate everyone, you're emotions just make you feel that way because of the pressure you are putting on yourself.

There is nothing wrong with preferring to be alone. It's your life and you should live it according to what makes you happiest!

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"Love, love is in the air, and I am breathing it all in."
 40yrs • F •
Adrianna is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I used to go out all the time - like you would never catch me without some social plan ahead of me. But I've simmered down in the last few years and I think it's a maturity thing. Like when you're young you think partying and talking about nothing is the best but when you get older you start looking for more meaningful things. Perhaps you've just matured faster than the your friends and if you met more mature people you would want to hang out with them.

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 49yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Waterdrop is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I think "hate" is a strong word. One can not hate people without even knowing them. People can be annoying ( we ARE sometimes), I agree. And more than that if you are an urban person you do need solitude. Seeking and finding people who are you comfortable with is the solution. I can suggest to watch "100 Questions" (TV Series) to entertain yourself for a start. : ) I do not know why I am here - but I can guess for the same reasons as all of us are here.

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 56yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that HissyFit is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I feel the exact same way, Ericka.

For me, lack of fulfilling human interaction is just the beginning. It's to the point where I no longer know what is worth doing here on the planet. Work, relationships, achievement, improving the body, bettering the self, amassing wealth and possessions..... It all seems like a big facade, as if we're simply a bunch of fluffy characters running around in a pathetic tragedy. And yet, we persist, not knowing what else to do.

I long for the director's vantage point.... where the curtain drops and we all go home to reality, whatever that is.

Sorry, I've gone off topic. Just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in the way you feel. Thank you for stating it so well.

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 49yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ill_llI is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Go out with people who hate you more than you hate them and I bet you'll have a blast.

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"The birds have their nests in the trees and the foxes have their holes in the ground, but the Son of Man has nowhere to rest His head."
 56yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that HissyFit is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
And yet, somehow, it always seems like there is something to live for... some mystery that holds a juicy nugget, something that feels good, somewhere underneath hidden away.

Hmmmm ... simply living for a juicy nugget, our next "feel good"..... Sounds a bit like an addict I know.

Is that the best we can hope for here? Our next temporary feel good fix? Perhaps a new group called Egos Anonymous might be in order.

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 56yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that HissyFit is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Perhaps hope and optimism are simply the ego's drugs of choice, things that seem helpful but simply keep us stuck in the illusion, clinging to the possibility that the illusion will somehow, someday, satisfy us better.

I still think we need Egos Anonymous.

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 41yrs • F •
Ericka is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I've been silently watching the responses and I am grateful for what you've all said/shared.

The last few months became really bad for me. I became overwhelmed with commitments like things I had to to involving interacting with people, family stuff and then having to attend functions that I really didn't want to.

I also tried to make new 'real life' friends, through meetups and other places. I felt like I needed to find out if it was possible to have real interactions, not just the farce that my old friends made me accustomed to. Anyway, long story short, it didn't turn out so well. Everyone I met were like replicas of each other. They appear different but once they start talking, it's the same old over and over again.

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 56yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that HissyFit is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Sorry, you're having a rough time, Ericka. I know how discouraging it can be when you make all these efforts to improve things and nothing really changes.

At some point along the way, I came to believe that what I see in the world and in other people is my own unconscious projection of unresolved crap. So I decided that my solution was going to involve an internal shift, as opposed to doing things in the world with the hope that they would somehow turn out differently. I'm not talking about trying to think good thoughts or being more positive or any new-age-y type stuff. I'm talking more about questioning the nature of reality and perception .. challenging what I think I know to be true or real in the deepest possible sense. A book called A Course in Miracles has helped me very much in this regard.

I don't know what might help you. I think each person has to just keep going and keep searching for something that clicks, something that helps shift the mind.

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 35yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Rainman05 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Maybe you need a complete change in the place you meet up people. Meeting people in the same place tends to result in meeting the same kind of people.

I don't know much about you, but I have been going through a sort of identity crisis (or rather... identity discovery) myself for some time now. I think I am stepping out of it... but then again, I may just be fooling myself. So far, except for the desire to pass to another level, I have achieved nothing in that regard. Today has been a total proof of this. I acted cowardly and decided to not tackle my issue but rather, postpone for it for tomorrow... and it seems like I won't be able to take decisive action tomorrow either... who knows.

Ofc, as I said, mine has nothing to do with my social life, but my self-discovery part rather. But I needed a change in scenery to produce other results or the notion that I can accomplish other results. Maybe you should do the same if it is within your power or if you think you can accomplish such a feat.

Again, I don't know your circumstances ,but I do know this. Changing your company is way, way easier than changing yourself.

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 30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that James008 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Take some weed, it solves any problem

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"Life is interesting but the universe rules."
 58yrs • F •
Willows is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I feel all those things too. I used to control it, cover it up easily and without even asking myself why, I guess I just knew I'd not survive long if I showed what I really thought. Now I still try to control it but it's a real effort and it tortures me. I still go out, still act the act, play the game, but I sleep two days flat recovering from it - it empties me. They empty me. And it's exhausting. I can't even watch TV anymore, it's like I see through it all and no one else does? they just make me want to scream at their emptiness, stupidity, behaving like sheep, believing whatever they're fed, no questions, no analysis, what the hell happened to humanity?

But aren't there times, if you think about it, when you meet someone like you? And they're as delighted to recognise you as you are them? And can't you talk non-stop when you meet someone like that? Aren't you suddenly reluctant to end your time with this person, rather than your usual nightmare trying to think of excuses to escape some boring peabrain who won't get the hint? And, in spite of that, don't you both go on your way without either of you expecting or offering further contact details? Because you're the same, because it's not just you, because they've learned the same lesson you have, further contact can be too much responsibility and because, like you, they will not force that responsibility on another. You both understand, you're the same, you share the higher level.

You can talk darlin, you just don't want to talk anymore meaningless rubbish when you see so many important things are happening. You can socialise too, you just don't want to socialise with people who are blind to what you see. You don't really want isolation, you're just living in a place where you'd prefer to be isolated from a good 95% of your fellow occupants and that leaves you feeling you must be anti-social but you're not, you're just outnumbered.

This is honestly how I feel, how I've been feeling more and more over the past five years. My answer may not be right but I've searched a long time and can only offer what rang true for me. Please take a quick look on Google - Lightworkers, Soulseeds, 21/12/12. I think you'll remember, I think this is happening because it's time to remember.

I'm not religious incidentally and I'm perfectly sane I'll no doubt be called a nutter by some - something I won't bother to argue - I don't imagine I have to save anyone, I respect everyone elses' opinion and I've called myself a nutter plenty of times. I only stopped when everything they said would happen, happened. A part of me still thinks it's nuts to be honest

Regardless, please know it's not just you and, more importantly, please don't ever think any part of you is 'wrong' just because it doesn't conform to the majority. Who ever said the majority were right? xx

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"Carpe Diem"
 42yrs • M
Egregious is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Yes, I often feel this way.

I think a lot of the depression and anger I feel towards others comes from a conflict in what I think and hope they could/should be, and what deep down I know that they are in reality.

This perception of human beings could be warped, but in all honesty I think it is nearer the truth than most of the people I know IRL, and the inability to emotionally accept that reality, combined with the moral compunction preventing me from exploiting it, is probably the major factor in the amount of pain that I feel.

Maybe the same is true of you, I don't know.

I genuinely have a longing desire to connect with others and have intimacy in my relationships, but I think it really comes down to the pain/pleasure principle. The amount of pain I feel far outweighs the pleasure I receive in this particular area, and so naturally, I withdraw from it.

This could be due to a lot of things. I really am different, I am too sensitive, whatever. But at the core, that is the principle I tend to follow, mostly unconciously.

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 37yrs • M •
potato is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I dread human interaction.. too bad I can't make a decent living without being the best at something (best includes basic social skills).

Prefer to be alone, I never bothered with socializing and now it's too late.

If my plans don't work out I'm gonna an-potato somewhere beautiful and isolated.

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I hate people and feel better alone
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