Playing games with death are the best kind. - cynicalm
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bonding/friendship

User Thread
 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Endless Feed is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
bonding/friendship
I am over trying to commit suicide from my last post and decided to get out and do stuff. One thing is im trying to figure out is, how do people bond/click, as well as create friendships. For some reason its not working for me, its looking in a sence grim. im looking for some explination of how what makes it happen.

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 37yrs • M •
spirallingdown is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Well I am 22 and have have been pretty much in the same boat as you since before your age. From my experience I can tell you, if it hasn't happend for you yet, it's most likely not going to. And it gets worse as you get older. You might have aquaintances here and there if you decide to go to college, or get a job. But I'm sorry to tell you, that you will never really have a best friend or friends that you can really connect with. If it was to happen, it would have did so when you were younger, and you would still be friends with them. That's what happens usually with normal people. If you want to try, I reccommend you look into some books that discuss basic NLP and how to build rapport with people. As far as connecting with someone emotionally, that is a HUGE risk to take. And if you fuck it up, which you probably will, because no one's perfect and shit happens, then it can be devastating. When I was 17 like you, I tried with someone and instantly connected with them. Or so I felt. And I completely fucked it up and created huge communication problems because of fears and insecurities that I had. The person eventually shifted their personality and told me to fuck off. Come to find out years later the person was just fucking with me the whole time and pretending to be my friend because they wanted to get away from me. From this experience, I basically learned how fucked up I am and have come to accept the fact that I should be alone because this is the way I have been raised. The only sad thing is I miss this person so much yet I am terrified of seeing or speaking to her because the whole interaction was not real. My advice to you is to learn to be content with being by yourself. You will save yourself a lot of pain that is irrepairable if you just accept that this is the way life is. I hope this helps in some way.

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Digital_Kitten is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I'd say that most important part of bonding is learning how to read and interpret people's body language more so than what are coming out of their mouth. Read that, and you're good to go in relying on your sense of judgment.

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"Don't tell me there is only black and white."
 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zyphon is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
So wait are you sayin im screwed if i dont have any best friends right now?

Crap i was just getting better at this positive thinking thing.
So your saying ill just have to live with the way i think and am.
Right?

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"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"
 33yrs • F •
MsCynic is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I shan't speak for him, but I shall say that you would be better off not taking such pessimistic advice. Connections can be made at any age, certainly, and you needn't worry that you'll be this lonely the rest of your life. Then again, there are some of us who truly do think we are made to be alone, and that there shan't ever be any close relationships for us once more, but that is hardly a reason to go bursting other bubbles.

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 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Endless Feed is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Im dont know where some are comming from saying i cant make friends. But Its a skill. I have recently been able to make friends and have people try and join my conversation. I think that we all go through phases, and this could be a phase. I donmt know what your doing that isnt working perhaps you could share with us.

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 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zyphon is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
who me?
Well lets see, i can find common ground with peole and talk for hours. But then im always the one calling people talking to them all of my friends are people I talk to. Most my friends never call unless they want something or something has gone wrong. Its like im the glue that keeps my little pack of friends together. And if i stop calling the never talk and then im all alone. again. and again.

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"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"
bonding/friendship
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