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The problem with vulnerability and naivety...

User Thread
 36yrs • F •
MoonHoney is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
The problem with vulnerability and naivety...
Maybe this isn't the right place to put this, but I needed somewhere to talk things out, where there was a chance I might get some helpful advice from people who are less naive on such subjects than I am... As a student in university residence, outings with floor mates has become common. They're usually accompanied by someone drinking too much and doing something stupid. Well, on Friday, that person was me. I didn't realize how much I must have had, until the next day. And by that point it was to late to undo what I had done. It started off innocent enough. I was dancing with a friend, who I happened to really really really like. being drunk, stupid and otherwise thoughtless of the consequences, I kissed him. Mind you I had also kissed his friend that same night. The night progressed, and I'm sure I became an irritant to my poor friend. We went home, and were greeted with numerous other drunked university students. I stole bites of mac and cheese from friends, and I'm sure I was given plenty of strange looks in that while. By the end of the night, I found myself in my friends room, the one whom I had kissed that night. At that point, it was he who brought up the idea of spooning, I jumped at the idea. Now, you must understand that I am very inexperienced with relationships, having never had a boyfriend, or even a relationship from which I haven't run from. The idea of spooning with someone who I have a crush seemed wonderful and innocent. so, I did. No harm done. I even got a back rub out of it. When I woke up in the morning, he was on the floor, and I was in his bed. I briefly thought about the gentlemanly act that it was, and made my way to the bathroom, as the litres of water I consumed before bed to avoid a hangover had hit my bladder with a vengeance. But, I couldn't go back to his room. I don't know why, but part of me was afraid of what others would say if they saw me leaving his room at such hours in the morning. (It kills me that I care so much. I'm sure it stems from high school.) So I went back to my own bed, and for the next day or two, did everything in my power to avoid him. I succeeded in avoiding him physically, but his face and name, and voice have been rolling through my head consistently for days. As, it is in my nature to dwell on the smallest things and allow them to consume my thoughts. My only fear now, is that I have vandalized my friendship with him, and destroyed any chance of a relationship. I still have very strong feelings for him, but after that night, I don't know whether he shares those feelings, or whether he was just drunk, and looking for someone to spoon with. I want to talk to him about it, but I'm afraid that I've already expressed to much of my feelings. I feel naked and vulnerable to him, and hate the feeling.
I realize that this is a long rant, but it's been on my mind for awhile. I needed to get it out somehow. Thank you....

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"Love is my Religion. I could die for that."
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
it doesnt sound like either one of you have done anything wrong. people have a great fear of being vulnerable (especially in front of the opposite sex). first off you need to talk to this guy. nobody likes being avoided. your feelings are just as important as anyone elses.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 36yrs • F •
MoonHoney is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Okay, so I did it... It was a very short conversation, and the only thing I actually learned was that I was the only one who thought anyhint about it...I think we can go back to being friends, or at least Ihope so....I still like him, and it hurts knowing that I was the only one who saw anything there... but I guess that kinda things happens.. Thank you very much for your response, it did help me.

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"Love is my Religion. I could die for that."
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
alcohol never did anyone any good to my knowledge... cept maybe in the old west

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 37yrs • M •
rudra_tatvamasi is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
the problem is that u r not comfortable with wat happened that time and are not able to get over it


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"I am the Emperor of my world"
 34yrs • F •
flipflop4ever is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
if he's your friend, dont avoid him. it would have been better if you werent drunk that night.. but maybe it was the only way you could get loose and just relax with the guy you like... and he obviously liked that. so be more relaxed and not so uptight. you can be relaxed AND keep a good head on your shoulders.... so dont ignore him... talk it out like adults... or remain like the friends you were before... let him tell you where he thinks the relationshop can go.. then u can give in your imput! ... it's a different feeling not being INNOCEWNT anymore, isn't it!?!!

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"I was just Frontin"
 56yrs • F •
SANTEANGELO is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
MOON HONEY
WHAT YOU DID WAS NOT VERY SMART...THOUGH YOUR FRIEND WAS A GENTLEMAN ....THE NEXT TIME YOU MIGHT NOT BE SO LUCKY IF HE IS NOT AROUND....MAKE A PROMISE TO YOURSELF & KEEP IT THAT YOU WILL NOT DRINK ..JUST BE SAFE & MAKE BETTER CHOICES IN THE FUTURE....

IT SOUNDS LIKE HE DOES CARE ABOUT YOU OR HE WOULD HAVE TAKEN ADVANTAGE .....JUST TALK TO HIM & EXPLAIN HOW YOU FEEL & THAT YOU WILL NOT PUT YOUR SELF IN THAT SITUATION AGAIN....HOPE MY ADVICE IS ALRIGHT......

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"IT CAN\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\'T BE ALL THAT BAD"
The problem with vulnerability and naivety...
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