futility of romantic 'love'

why is it that men, no matter how deeply they love their woman, can never stop lusting after a playboy bunny ?

why is it explained away as a genetic hardwiring - that is condoned and well accpeted. that men should love this idea is understandable, but dont their women mind this ?

that in a relationship of commitment and exclusivity arising out of love and a desire to be together forevr, there still exists this major crack that allows men's minds to wander off with every other bombshell ? and it isn't as any one singular woman would anchor any man. they'd just continue to need to look and lust at every other.

where is the justice of nature ?

with the progress of the relationship, the woman's body gets sacrificed to pregnancy and mothering. while the man's remains undamaged by this process. and they have all the more reason to continue to look and lust.

no doubt the rewards for mothering are very huge. but what about romantic love - how can that withstand the pressure of having the male genes at work ?

no matter how loving and how caring your man is, doesn't it still kill a woman to know that there may be that brief moment when its not you he is lusting after ??

why would nature build in such injustice ?

wow ! quite a thesis on the topic ! and it also goes to prove the futility - since u mention that the starting point determines the path - and the starting point is a direct result of upbringing. hence the futility !

further to your article and my unsolved problem
1. why would the hunter return to the same mother for the healing ? because while he is out hunting he may find an additional mother.
2. why does this have to be a one-to-one relationship ? why not one-to-many - which i suspect is what a human male would prefer. and were it rattified by society we'd have a society like canines or elephants or some other model.

in the current model the one-to-one relationship exists for the purpose of conductign day to day lives. but if the mind of the male has not ceased to get attracted by other females, then this one-to-one association is artificial, fragile and meaningless.

i want to be born a queen bee in my next life !

The thought of Porn makes me sick to my stomach. IMO it is an abomination. I hope to one day find a woman I can love completely and forever. Only her in my arms forever. Call me young and an idealist but that is who I am.

As explained in the article, the hunter, by definition, seeks to provide for only one mother. The mother plays a unique part in the hunter's life... men have a unique place for their mothers, and similarly in the concepts used in the article, the hunter can only have one mother.

By further definition, the mother is a mother to the hunter only when she fully supports his needs to be the hunter and vice versa. Therefore, unless it is in the mother's best interests for the hunter to go out and find another woman, the hunter for that woman will not do this. If he does, he is not her hunter... he is a beast and he is attempting to convert her into the widow.

The core definition of the hunter versus the beast clearly indicates that the hunter actually only seeks one woman and that the beast seeks to conquer as many as possible. This is surely present in every male... they feel a burning need to fuck as many women as possible yet they themselves feel and somewhere know that they would actually prefer to find one woman. It is this duality that is actually the impurity of the modern male.

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As explained in the article, the hunter, by definition, seeks to provide for only one mother. The mother plays a unique part in the hunter's life... men have a unique place for their mothers, and similarly in the concepts used in the article, the hunter can only have one mother.

By further definition, the mother is a mother to the hunter only when she fully supports his needs to be the hunter and vice versa. Therefore, unless it is in the mother's best interests for the hunter to go out and find another woman, the hunter for that woman will not do this. If he does, he is not her hunter... he is a beast and he is attempting to convert her into the widow.

The core definition of the hunter versus the beast clearly indicates that the hunter actually only seeks one woman and that the beast seeks to conquer as many as possible. This is surely present in every male... they feel a burning need to fuck as many women as possible yet they themselves feel and somewhere know that they would actually prefer to find one woman. It is this duality that is actually the impurity of the modern male.

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And I'm glad to now embrace my devotion to that one woman. Whoever she may be. Its comforting to know exactly what I want, although at my age I feel very alone in this "decision".
And at the same time very disturbing to realize that there is something very wrong with our society.

so then, as per your model what happens when the hunter meets the mother and vice versa. do all the allurements of society become invisible ? does the beast die altogether ? are these mutually exclusive states in a male ? is it not possible for dual states to exist simulataneously in different proporations - one in the waxing state while the other wanes? sine and cosine curves representing the strength of life of the beast versus the hunter at the same point in time ?
he cud play hunter with the mother - while the beast is out with others...
or maybe i read to reread your article !
i believe that i have my hunter and am the mother this hunter is looking for. yet i feel threatened by the world around us, with woman half naked , not just in media but also in real life.
and infidelity is not just a matter of physical fucks, even a thought in that direction is enough to make me feel the meaningless of the female half of the species.
while both the males and females r programemd to procreate, the key difference that males would seek to disperse sperm with as much range as possible while females wud seek to be devoted to one, for reasons of long term survival to nurture the young, seems unfair on the female in the matign game.
it seems like the mating game is preprogrammed to be a win-lose transaction, in favor of the male.
(of course the female wins in several other aspects of life such as maternal bonding and so on - but in the mating game she is a loser ALWAYS)

true ?

and i am wondering if zach is living in an era of purity that no longer seems to exist around us. most are happy to consume the free services of titillation and stimulation provided so freely by media and real life women.

its been okay for 40 years to have not known how the minds of men work. but once that is known, it is incredibly hard to deal with the senselessness of life as a female form !

The hunter is the pure form of the male. The beast is an impurity imposed on him. It feeds off the vestigial instincts we had as barbarian apes. Like a virus.

It's sort of a complicated matter... but any manifestation of thought that is impure... a psychological virus... such as the beast or the widow or envy, jealousy, greed... various impure thoughts that lead to unpleasant emotions are all the result of insecurity. The more insecure an individual, the deeper and more aggressive the resulting emotions.

So it is most certainly possible for a man to contain within him both the hunter and the beast, and to partake in both of these mindsets at different points in time, but both cannot exist at the same time. This tells us a very important thing: That your man, when the hunter, is in essence not the same man that plays the part of the beast.

This is an important distinction to make. It demonstrates that the hunter is actually victimized by the beast... this segregation of habits makes it easier to conquer and overcome the beast within the man.

The concept of a man wanting to spread his seed is not the reason the beast exists. The beast exists because of society. Society uses man's base barbaric instincts to implant these insecurities so that they are reliably present in everyday life. So, although they may contribute and be amplified by the insecurities, they are not the reason men want to fuck around.

Men want to fuck around because society tells them that's what they must do to earn their manhood. And a man that is not manly is a pussy, and pussies are the most shameful objects in all of creation. A feminine man is such an oddity in today's society that we feel uncomfortable even imagining the concept. We feel sorry for the man... as if there is something wrong with him.

Society is driven by this fear... and from birth men are taught to fear this... this explains much, and is exemplified by the statistic of closet or persecuted homosexuals committing some of the most horrific attrocities in modern society.

(Dahmer, Gacy)

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So it is most certainly possible for a man to contain within him both the hunter and the beast, and to partake in both of these mindsets at different points in time, but both cannot exist at the same time. This tells us a very important thing: That your man, when the hunter, is in essence not the same man that plays the part of the beast.

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in a long term alliance with the mother, there may be many such temporary gaps of time, even just a few seconds, in which the hunter may turn into a beast.

when this is viewed by the mother, the impact is destructive. no matter what the cause is, whether the hunter is a victim of the beast or of society.

the fact remains that the mother is left in a very bad place as a result of this transformation.

and since the mother is in it for the long term. whereas, even the hunter having found his haven, may return to being a beast in flashes of time - for short term indulgences. which need not even be physical infidelity as i said - but just the fantasy of another.

how then can the mother continue in her role with full love and self confidence once she witnesses unfaithfulness?

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how then can the mother continue in her role with full love and self confidence once she witnesses unfaithfulness?

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This is one of lifes cruel realities. But it is not always like this. Faithfulness is not always broken. I think most males in our society today are simply not mentally prepared to handle a fully devoted relationship that a "mother" expects. Although I know I have indeed played the role of the beast in my life already a few times, and I have fought intensely with its mere existence inside me, I have won. I am now, after heartbreak and a few temptations/trials able to see myself for who I am and who I want to be. I am able to have complete control over myself. While I was with my last girlfriend the beast was so powerful it made me screw up quite a few times(involving pornography). It even got so bad sometimes that I had to keep my internet 100% turned off 24/7 because I was unable to resist the urge to indulge in my "fantasies". Now I am much stronger, I am almost a complete new person. I have my interent up 24/7 and I am also single now. I no longer even desire these defiled creations. I am me. I am awake, and I know what I wait for. I wait for love. I wait for "My Mother" to find me or for me to find her. Every moment I am witohut her I am hurt, I am alone. But I am strong, and I will wait. Simply Wait.

i guess when there is a loss of control, the male benefits in any case - even in his avatar of the beast - even though the benefit may be short term and very very superficial.
whereas the 'mother' necessarily suffers.
unfortunately zach, and my hunter, cannot undo the damage they do to their 'mother'. and must begin the search all over again. in zach's case he is well off, because he is now empowered by his wisdom. but my hunter is lost to me, and who knows if this wisdom will prevail even in his next lifetime. but what does it matter?
the futility of the mothers devotion has been experienced. and loss of faith in life and nature has been experienced. irreversible. no cure.

Don't give up! There is a cure. Although it IS rare.

1. He must realize all this. (hardest part)
2. Forgiveness.
3. Smile.

What you are talking about is certainly a horrible idea... the process in which the mother encounters the beast and the beast attempts to turn her into the widow.

It is really the mother's choice to reject this false conditioning and pursue the purification of the hunter, or to view the presence of the beast as an indication that this man is not your hunter. I think the answer to that lies in whether or not your man recognizes that his momentary bursts of impure desire are indeed unnatural.

I get the feeling you are attempting to sort of glorify the pain you have suffered as a result of the beast and segregate yourself from your man based on this... this is the result of the successful effect of the beast as the beast does not desire the hunter to be tied down. So, in other words, if you react by distancing yourself from your man whilst you still desire him, you are in fact turning into the widow.

The widow and the psychology of being a widow encompasses a great deal of self-victimization... avoid this at all costs and observe it when it occurs.

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pursue the purification of the hunter

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tried this for a reasonable time. explaining, expressing, understanding, trying to show the impact of his impure desires. and i think i failed. not that he hasn't tried to make it work for us. but his motivation is to make it better for us. his reason for change is not that his intrinsic need has evaporated by my presence. if there still exists the impure desire and he is only compelling himself to curb that desire for us, then this is also a falsehood. i am not here to make him change for my needs.

hence the realisation that 'i am not the mother he seeks' contrary to the conclusion decius has drawn that

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this man is not your hunter

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further - i am not sure if i have painted the picture correctly - this man is not really into messign around with others. but he leaves doors open for others to flirt with him, even if it is only because he does nto know how to shut them. he does not actively fantasize about others but still admits to flashes of such thoughts. and this itself is agonising for me. his explanation is that this would happen to all males and it is not a voluntary thing. and my premise is that were i his real anchor ( my word for 'mother' i guess) it would have obliterated all others for him.
and since i cannot get inside any man's head, who knows if i am too ambitious or whether he finds it convenient not to control his mind.

and to zach - my question is what is it that must be forgiven ? if he has desires, who am i to ask for change ? there isnt anything to forgive. all that i can do is to move on, limiting the damage to me, and yet leavign him with what he would like to be. we would both lose some and gain some. if we continue together, i continue to get damaged and he continues to feel pressure - neither is needed.