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My Step-daughter molested my son. I don't know what to do anymore. Please give me advice

User Thread
 34yrs • F •
sunshinekiss is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
My Step-daughter molested my son. I don't know what to do anymore. Please give me advice
[b]My step-daughter is 10 and my son is 5. The first time it happened, he was 3 and she was 8. She was found grinding on him (like missionary sex). She pretty-much got a slap on the wrist & a good talking-to. We found out she had been molested when she as younger and knew this incident was probably a result of that. Her parents said she 'was too young to know better'. I was afraid that if she did it because she was molested, that my son would eventually do it too so I tried to take him to counseling. The counselor pretty much told me he was young & would probably forget if we didnt talk about it. She did make me file a report with the police. The officer said that they were probably "just playing" and neither of them knew it was bad. I kept them separated at all times anyway.

Then....I had a baby. (It was almost EXACTLY 1 year later) 2 days after she(baby) was born I woke up with 'issues' and needed to take a shower. When I got out of the shower, I noticed my step-daughters door was closed, I ran to the room, heard them scrambling around & opened the door to find them both naked. I was FURIOUS! I talked to my son later and he said she had played with his 'parts' and made him sit on top of her naked. I brought her to her mother immediately & called Child Protective Services. She was ordered to go though 'good touch/bad touch' counseling, which she graduated. I knew he would remember this because when I asked if she had done this before, he brought up the time the year before. I brought him to counseling & he went on a weekly basis for 6 months. He then went to every two weeks and he is going every 3 weeks now. At our last visit, his counselor told us she was leaving the company and we would be contacted by someone else to take over sessions.

This past Sunday, I was working on my internet sales business. My step-daughter, & son, along with 3 other children were in the room next to me watching a movie. SHE DID IT AGAIN!!! One of the girls that was there came and told me that she(step-daughter) got on top of my son, started grinding on him, pulled up her shirt and made him touch her boobs. I AM DONE WITH HER! 3 strikes, you're out in my book! My son is probably ruined for life now, obviously counseling didn't do a damn thing for her, she definitely knows that it is wrong now. No one can say they were "just playing". Shes a perp & I am NOT going to allow that to happen to my son!

It is 'his' weekend to get his kids and I told him that I am not going to watch her while he(my husband) works. I told him(hubby) that I didn't want her in our house at all & there's definitely no reason for her to be here when he is not. Now he is not talking to me. Every time I say something to her (step-daughter)'s mother about it, she just gets pissed off that her daughter was ever molested in the first place. He(hubby) said this is going to push us apart because that is "still his child". Well, my son is my child, damn it! He should be able to feel safe at home and it is my responsibility to keep him safe.

I know most of you are going to say I should have left after the first time but I believe in the old saying, when something is broken, you fix it, not throw it away. We tried to fix it as a family...with all the separation, counseling, etc. Honestly, I just don't know what to do anymore. Obviously counseling didn't work. She's only 10 so it's not like I can press charges and have her put in jail. Both of her parents have worked at Juvenile detention facilities & say that only makes trouble-makers worse because they learn worse things from the other 'bad kids'. I don't know what to do. I REALLY REALLY REALLY am at a dead-end. I REFUSE to let it happen again & what if she does it to someone else's kid? What if my son starts doing it to our youngest daughter...or someone else? I would have called his counselor & got advice, but like I said, they're in the middle of switching counselors for us so there's no one to call- not that I'm sure even a counselor would know what to do right now. Someone PLEASE HELP!

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 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that JoeCrow is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
It doesn't matter if they are in the middle of switching counsellors, they need to address this. I think counselling is the only way, if it didn't work before then try something new.
She is still his daughter though, you can't expect him to not see her again, this isn't her fault, she's s victim too and needs help.
Are you talking to your son about it? Often if we don't talk to them about things they come up with their own explanations which can be more damaging.
Good luck.

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My Step-daughter molested my son. I don't know what to do anymore. Please give me advice
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