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My daughter doesn't sleep at night

User Thread
 53yrs • F •
maks is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
My daughter doesn't sleep at night
My 8 year old daughter is scared of sleeping alone at night. she has been like this since she was a little kid. I stay with her till she falls asleep but then she wakes up in the middle of the night asking me to stay with her. I tried to comfort her , suggested to her to read books and but she doesn't go back to sleep if I don't stay with her. Because of this I am unable to sleep at night and both of us are extremely tired in the morning. She is very a bright child, but I feel she is unable to focus at school because of sleep issues. She is terrified of watching movies, scared in crowds and is a very shy kid. I thought this was just a phase and hoped that she will get better as she grows older. Is this normal? Is it okay if I sleep with her till she feels comfortable?

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 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that parallelist is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I like to begin with questions.

Have you researched this problem? She is unlikely to be the first. What, if anything, have you tried to solve it?

How far away is she sleeping from you at the moment? Could you vary that distance progressively? When you stay with her how does that work? Do you sleep in the same room? Or do you sleep in the same bed for her to feel comfortable?

Are you a single parent? Does she have any siblings? Are they suffering from a similar problem? Does she have friends at school?

Is she afraid of all movies or just scary ones?

What about sleeping alone scares her do you think? Is she scared of the dark? Was there time in the past, do you think, where she needed during the night you but you weren’t around? Do you use babysitters?

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 43yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that JoeCrow is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
What parallelist said, find out why she's scared. Until you sort it out I'd say just sleep with her, or at least in the same room. It wont get her into a bad habit, it'll let her sleep well for a while. Sometimes they can get into a habit of waking up at the same time, adults do it too. She needs to get out of this habit first and then you can talk to her about what it is that scares her. Maybe she needs a nightlight for a while, or you could buy her a special teddy, the globear type have little lights in them that light up when they're squeezed.
Good luck.

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 38yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that CooJaye is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I agree with the other posts. Ask questions first and see what the problem actually is.

I loved sleeping as a child, but I also had very terriblle (and I mean horrifying) nightmares very very often. I think they may have started happening when I was as young as 2 years old because my dad remember me screaming in the middle of the night, him coming to the rescue, me waking up for a little bit and then going back to sleep. He said it terrified him.

As I got a little older I would wake up in cold sweats (I was still only 5 or so) and I can still remember nearly 25 years later what the dreams were about. I was always on the brink of being murdered in my dreams. Why? I have no idea. The problem didn't go away until I was probably in my early teens. Even then I have experienced sleep paralysis, more night terrors where I just can't go back to sleep because I'm just so scared.

My dad decided after a few years of me waking up screaming that I would have to just deal with it. He didn't believe me when I said I saw other people in the house during the day and pretty much just thought I was making it up or that I'd just have to toughen up. Maybe things could have been different if I was allowed to sleep in their room, even on the floor.

I never got it checked out. Now, I still have very bizarre dreams and every so often I'll wake up terrified to the core. I don't know why it happens. I don't know where it all comes from. I have no obvious links to the dreams that I have.

I think for your daughter, it would be best to comfort her. I felt very alone when my dad didn't believe me or try to comfort me. My mom felt bad and wanted to help, but my dad refused to let me sleep in their room. I suppose my mom could have found a way to help out. Regardless, it was scary and I felt alone.

Have her talk to someone. If it turns out to be nothing more than just being scared of the dark or what not, at least you know.

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My daughter doesn't sleep at night
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