d.fabs.europai is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
a little insight please?
well things suck..i just had to break up with my boyfriend of two years. Heres the jist of it: i go to europe almost every summer since i was a baby and i've known this guy AJ since i was little and 2 summers ago we started dating. so yeah it was a long distant relationship and everyone is always saying how hard it is when the only thing need is trust. which we had since ive known him forever and i was his first gf and people in the foreign countries are different from americans. i cant explain it, they attitudes and people are just different its hard to explain in words, you just have to be there to understand. the main point is that i trusted him. and everything was fine when i was there and when i came home we talked on the phone and msn so it wasnt like we were out of touch. even my mom was calling him son-in-law already cause she liked him alot and i was already past the whole parent barrier thing and so was he with mine.
last summer he came to michigan with his aunt and uncle and it was an awesome summer but we also did fight alot and i was always frustrated with him allllll the time because he was so clueless to what i wanted from him. he is very closed off and keeps to himself and almost never talks about his internal struggles and feelings. he always changes the subject or makes me not want to ask him. at times he can intimidating to the point where i cant even stand to be in the same room with him. there are good qualities about him so dont think he so horrible its just the 2 years i was with him was fights and laughs. in those years he never kissed me. he did on the cheek or on the neck and i understand tht he repsects my parents to not do anything with me but seriously come on. my mom would purposely give us alone time and nothing would happen. he is shy and thinks he is a hard ass but really he knows nothing.
heres a kicker for everyone lol he talks to my mother more than me and when i dont want to talk to him on the phone for long peroids of time like one time i didnt talk to him for 2 months straight. he asked my mom what was wrong with me or if i was mad at him which was my goal since i can never get a reaction out of him everrrr! but the kicker is that when i finally talked to him after the 2 months he never asked why i didnt tlak to him for so long or what was wrong with me he continued on with his useless conversations with me that i didnt care about. i just wanted him to ask me what was wrong. i never know if he really wants this or not he always confuses me and then my feelings for him are confused also. its like i have to beg and grovel for his attention.he thinks he so good at hiding all feelings for me and he thinks everyone is oblivious to how he feels when everyone knows that he liked me.
after 2 yrs of this this saturday i had to break it off with him. he told my mom that he wasnt coming this summer. because he wants to take an extra course in school so he can help with the money for his parents and get his license for not just cars but trucks and stuff so he can get a job drving. i understand and support this but he told my mom and not me. after i got the phone he didnt even say one word about it to me and tried to upbeat. wtf?! he never tells me what is important everrr. the point is we are not going to europe this year bc we thought he would come and we were planning on going to cedar point and florida with him but i guess we are going without him now. and once i hit my senior year in highschool i wont have time to talk or be with him. after my senior year is over im going straight to college and my parents dont want to go to europe anything so this summer would be the last time i would see him in a long time. so theres no point in continuing this at all. ill be busy with college to go to europe evrr and i doubt tht he would come out here once he starts working. by the way he is 17 and im 16(im a junior)
so i plan on not talking to him anymore so i can forget about him well at least my feelings for him so i can face him as a friend...he doesnt know we are over but i know he has a feeling if he isnt coming this summer. so sooner or later he will forget as well. or at least that is what im hoping for. i mean i love him, he was my first love and i dont want it to end but i was okay if i knew i would see him eventually but if i wont see him in years then there is no point anymore. then it would be indeed HARD as everyone has explained to me. i thought it was best to let him go...
was it right to do? i dont want to regret it.
"Life is half happiness, half hardship"
A CTL of 1 means that ParallelShabba is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
In a way SUPERBEST is right but maybe just not in such a harsh way but yeah moving on and finding somebody else is probably the easiest way to forget someone as you make better memroies with a new love interest (believe me new is pretty much always better) anyway just try to focus your attention on other people rather than the same one
"If you try to fix violence with violence you do nothing but create violence"