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Does what you want exist?

User Thread
 37yrs • M •
Al Harris is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Does what you want exist?
At first, this might seem like a stupid question, as its answer is pretty obvious in many situations (i.e. "I want a Ferrari". However, what many people want is a bit more abstract. Some seek the perfect man or woman. Others simply seek to be accepted for who they are. In many cases, neither of those things might exist. There might be no perfect man or woman, depending on how high you set your standards. And even if there is, who's to say they will like you? Or be faithful to you? In the other case, perhaps you aren't accepted because you're a huge asshole. Or boring, or excessively nerdy, or have a drinking problem. There are some things that people just don't accept, no matter how much you wish they would, and that isn't going to change.

Anyhow, I'm not saying this to be arrogant, I'm saying it because I used to be a victim of the exact same affliction. I wanted that perfect woman (she shot me down). I wanted acceptance without changing myself one little bit (I changed a little and got a lot). I wanted to recover from a sports injury I really couldn't recover from, and to continue my sports career when I really should have quit (I only quit after getting hurt even worse). I figured out that some of these goals were unattainable quickly, while I stubbornly pursued others, almost to my ruin. The key was to discover that only what exists matters. It was very liberating for me to admit that I should just give up my quest for these impossible goals/ideals and just focus on what I genuinely could achieve. I was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience, or discovered that something they wanted didn't really exist

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 35yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that ekimup is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
its a brilliant question. I think the most important desires in the world...have yet to exist. Like a desire for world peace...or a paradise without hate, evil...blah blah. The most influential and inspirational desires are ideas. Ideas are wishes unfulfilled.

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"In this world, we are never lacking. Only losing what we have in hope of gaining what we dont."
 35yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that ChrisD is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Good post, Al. This goes along with the buddhist philosophy actually... the whole "be here now" sort of thing (good book by the way, check it out if you get a chance). So it's said that many people, ignorant by a buddhist's standards, live in the past and the future and never give full realization to what actually is... now... at the present moment. I mean, how can you see objectively what is if you never are? If you always were or going to be...?

It's a difficult thing to look at everything objectively, especially yourself. Fantasies are usually a let down anyways, right?

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"The truth will set you on fire"
 34yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that MugenNoKarayami is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Al, it might just be me, but by giving up that quest for what you truly want, you have condemned yourself to only achieving what you think exists or what you already see as existing.

now I know there's a fine line between hope and desperation, but what may seem unattainable, is only determined by you. And yes, some things like your career in sports may have been a bad choice to
continue, you can't confuse that with other wants and goals.

but I am the person who thinks " does what you want exist? "
" well, do I want it to exist? "

you are the creator of your reality Al, you control the good and bad that happens. I think what you want does exist.

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"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"
 44yrs • M •
The Philosopher is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
The best way to achieve happiness is to be happy with what you have. This gives you "essential happiness", as opposed to the conditional happiness that comes only when you have attained what you want. Conditional happiness is fleeting. You always want more.

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"I don\'t know why I am here, but I am, so I might as well make the most of it."
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Jacker_Jones is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I want to know who I am. Not my name but what exactly is the reason why I am here. It appears to me that most people just make up an answer to who they are and why they are here. This is something that I want but feel doesn't exist.

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"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."
 46yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Black Gold is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Does what you want exist?

I guess part of this comes down to seeing something in a certain circumstance as tangible (eg. It has already happened for someone else) or as possible (eg. Certain parts of the circumstance have happened to one person and the other parts to another, and then wanting to combine both circumstances). It is possible also that what you decide you want has come from the unexperienced (eg. Like the, no-one has flown off to Mars and seen intelligent life, kind of thing).
These three examples relate to the degrees of tangibility...
In regards to all three of them though, you could say 'Anything is Possible'.
This may seem to be the obvious part though... While at the same time being a key part.
That's what you say you want existing...

Another thing is about knowing that you know what you want...
A key phrase here could be 'The grass is always greener on the other side'. Which may demonstrate that you may not always KNOW what you truly want...

One element to having things is having the experience of having earned them, like owning a Ferrari, or being such a good guy that a perfect woman would even look at you...

In regards to imperfection, a lot of people are happy to have flaws, as it gives them something to work towards. In regards to injury, we are perishable, but medical science (and such) is ever advancing...

So tangibility, certainty in aspiration, satisfaction in imperfection are key players...
But you may:-
- Have such drive that you want to make a world-first. Something somewhat more intangible.
- Be uncertain in your aspiration, but know you need to do something.
- Want so much to achieve perfection, that imperfection could be devastating.

Here's a few personal views...
When I think of what I want, I often think of what I need, as use reasoning there.
I am a little afraid of wishing or praying, because I feel like 'Why do I deserve this?' and I think of 'A little here, and a little there' can really make a difference. I don't want to let what I think I want at the time get in the way of the natural flow of things, and what I deserve.
Everything has an order to it. In regards to getting what you have earned or deserved, over that 'Fleeting Conditional Happiness' the Philosopher speaks of.
Even in regards to things like knowing who you are, there is intangibility. For example, I realised that 'What I believe subconsciously may be news to me consciously'. What is meant there is that I basically do some things on autopilot or 'in my sleep'., such that I simply get things done without really consciously trying. The thought of knowing myself in detail here is intangible, as my consciousness does not even cover that part of myself.
Wanting something to exist (as MugenNoKarayami says) really relates to the kind of thing where you would encounter the natural flow of things, and having earned or deserved something (I think).

I think the mind should not always be 'in the now', how would we ever imagine more to life (and that does not just mean pushing the boundaries of achievement, but also simply seeing something or doing something in a way you have never done before). .. Fantasies are not always a let down...

This basically combines with you thinking of more than one possible road, which makes the road somewhat unclear. You may end up being happy with a few different roads. What you want comes down to assessing what you want more out of a number of routes. You may be happy with more than one road... So you may want more than one existence for yourself...

Complicating things further, you are more than one person at one time, with mixed desires. You can see this by looking at multi-tasking and combination of activities (especially those which relate to thought).
You may have more than one desire at one time, uncomplicated by the number being more than one, as they are processed by different mental areas... If that does not make complete sense, think of one mental area compensating for another, as it does when the primary area simply does not function...

You could then go on to say that, 'what you want' is handled by one mental area, and 'what you do' is handled by another mental area. Such that, at best the translation from 'what you want' into 'what you do' is not one hundred percent accurate. You rely on perfect clarity of memory, especially for the finer touches on more subtle things. As well as, relying on the two mental areas 'speaking the same languages' (as such), to turn 'what you say' into 'what you do'...
Looking at it like that, and combining with the idea that 'what you believe may be news to me', you may be a lot less clear whether knowing for sure whether what you want may exist. This is either out of difficulty in translating what you want to what you know, as well as whether you're getting a full picture in the first place (from being able to fully consciously view what you want)...

If its not there though, you can always dream. You can always imagine... There would at least a little satisfaction in that...

After all that, you could grapple with the idea 'How do we know what we are seeing actually exists in the nature that we think it does?'...

I think I've gone on too long... Oh well! Better post, rather than delete...

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"There is no negative one..."
Does what you want exist?
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