Lovers that are friends are the ones that break your heart. Friends that are lovers are the ones that mend it. - Blood_princess
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Need Of Companionship

User Thread
 32yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that awakendwraith is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Need Of Companionship
I got a new girlfreind and we've been together for a few months. We usually spend at least4 hours together whenever we see each other, and, in light of the revalations I experenced while going through a previous break-up, I believe I love her. I know I do. Anywho, it feels that I dont enjoy being... awake, if I'm not around her or my brother's house.

Why is this?

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"Why cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."
 32yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Disenchanted is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Refer to title.

Sounds to me like you're in love. You pretty much feel crumby when you're not around that special person, you don't want to waste a moment of your life without them. It's all due to brain chemicals (ones that I don't know much about yet), it's addiction.

The way I see it, everyone has a void they need to fill. Some have a tiny void, and it's not a big part of their life. Some have larger voids, and they turn to an act that results in a desired feeling (sexual release, security, or to some degree, ecstasy). Thus they engage in compulsive action (habit) or by yearning for something to fill that void, and it dictates their level of happiness. You need to feel that chemical to feel good.

I have known a lot of people with a lot of habits, and I believe that you can never truly get rid of that need, you can only change the method through which you fill it. Short of prescription drugs, of course.

Sounds to me like you need to be with someone you love. Do you find that you go through lovers fast?

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Digital_Kitten is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
uhm... I have a question for you - how well do you enjoy our own company? YOu don't have to answer that in a public forum if you don't feel like it, but maybe it's something to pay attention to...

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"Don't tell me there is only black and white."
 32yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that awakendwraith is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Disenchanted- Well, in-love I'm not so sure of. Either I'm far more secure trhan before, or I fear losing less tahn I did before because I dont love as much as I used to. I like to think Ive grown and become stronger.

I do feel addicted, but my concern is that I know it isnt good to be addicted to someone, not for the fear of losing, I can deal with that pain, but because it hinders you as an individual and it is possible to become extremely insecure and dont wat that because that will only prevent me from being trully happy. I want to know if what I'm feeling is chemical and theres nothing I can do about, or that its chemical and its my fault. If theres nothing I can do about it then I guess I'm ok with it.

If its habit I'm pretty sure its my fault. I dont want to just emporarily fill the void, I want a cure.

D-Kitten- I do enjkoy my compny actually, but I much enjoy my company more if I can share it with someone.

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"Why cry for those that often cry? Instead, help them smile, and smile for those that smile."
 34yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that IceMan04 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I believe that there is LOVE and INFATUATION, which are too commonly mistaken for each other. Here's my definition of INFATUATION

INFATUATION: when you start a new relationship and you feel like you are floating on a cloud and get a numb, great feeling, its because you are experiancing a natural high. Your brain releases these three chemicals: Norepinephrine, Dopamine, and Phenylethylamine which make u feel this way. You love being around this person because when you are around them your brain releases these chemicals making u feel great or high. Furthurmore, When you are not with them, the high is not as strong. I call this INFATUATION, because its not true love that you are experiancing. Like all drugs that make you high, your body creates a tolorance for these 3 chemicals. After it does, you dont feel the same when you are around this person, almost as if you are bored of them. The natural high has then been worn off. If you can make it past this stage and still stick around for years to come, then thats when I consider it to be LOVE.

well those are my 2 cents

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"I always say the truth, even when Im lying"
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Digital_Kitten is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I have to agree with ICeman. Seeing as how you described that you are in a relationship with her for several months, that first flush of excitment hasn't passed over. It does have something to do with chemicals, and neurotransmitters being released to excite your brain. And, surprizingly enough - that area of your brain where it is being excited is quite close to where psychologist have been studying the effects of addiction. So, the same brain region. Interesting eh?
And, as Iceman has said... it does go away (i.e. the addicted feeling) after a time of over-exposure.
Personally, I like to find that fine balance between that excited/addicted state and being slightly detached and productive.
And, funny enough - the duration of that feeling varies from person to person that you are with. So, enjoy it while it lasts. Cuz, after it's gone, you may wish that it hadn't gone away. It's all about knowing when to put some distance and when to hangout. Good luck.

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"Don't tell me there is only black and white."
Need Of Companionship
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