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Of hairy backs and repelling women

User Thread
 37yrs • M •
fidelitygastro is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Of hairy backs and repelling women
hello people

i have a few friends..and one of my best has a little problem. He doesnt want to get married...because...he has a hairy back and says girls wouldnt want to sleep with him, and they would feel yucky,etc. I tried to convince him that its not like that, and girls wouldnt mind. i tried to bring in this into a conversation with a girl, i mean not about this friend, but generally, and she sed "ewww" for a hairy back.
this friend is extremely depressed about it and although he doesnt WANT to be alone,says he wouldnt want to get married at all, although hes the nicest guy i ever knew.

Is there anything that i can do to cheer him up to get married....or u people think he's right?
Not sure how to handle this problem...


Fidel



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 33yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Jacker_Jones is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Maybe your friend doesn't want to get married and is using the hairy back as an excuse. But, if he does really want to get married he could try laser hair removal. I'm not sure the exact facts on it but it's something he could look into.

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"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."
 59yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Lady Tazmanian is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Tell your friend to get his back waxed.

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 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yea thats a pretty lame excuse. if it really bothers him and/or his significant other, there are ways to fix it such as waxing and lazer. and besides, im sure there are some women somewhere that dig hairy backs.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 37yrs • M •
fidelitygastro is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Laser...yeah...i can tell him that..
Doesnt waxing required to be done every 3 days or so?




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 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Punkycarrot is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
it depends on the person but more or less
laser probly would be better
but i dont think his back is the only reason yourfriend doesn't want to marry

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"rock on"
 59yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Lady Tazmanian is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
quote:
Laser...yeah...i can tell him that..
Doesnt waxing required to be done every 3 days or so?



Not every 3 days, no. Laser is the way to go but it will cost him.

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 43yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
There are indeed women who don't mind and expressly like, even if they don't particularly care to admit it (Usually because of Oedipus complex), hairy backs.

Another factor it is that body hair is generally pleasant to the touch, in contradiction to socially influenced aesthetic appeal. Its often the same way with chubby people, fat is actually more pleasant to touch than boney bodies to most people, but the irrational degree of social aesthetics and declarations of "perfection" cause people to dislike it for other reasons.

I say he should keep it and use it to find a REAL WOMAN who likes him for who he is, they can decide together what to do about it, if anything.

But if the pressures of society and its judgementalness, regardless of what degree of reason it is based on, is just too much, then he needs to accept that and make it a life goal of changing it however necessary.

People are just weird, most wouldn't dare shave the backs of their favorite and most cuddly furry friends, dogs, cats, teddy bears. But suddenly on humans its a fungus or deformity.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • M •
Salinger is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Leftwood--
I completely agree with you.

But can you please explain how you linked the Oedipus complex to not wanting to admit to liking hairy backs?

(the complex can relate to young girls as well as boys?)

Is this the connection?--The superego has developed to overcome the sexual attraction to their fathers--resulting in fear and guilt...and then a loss of love for the hairy back?

Honesly I tried.....but some of us only have a couple of peas rolling around up there.......

Ps Very cool......linking out dated notions of masculinity and the discreditation of Freud!!

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""Of men, wealth, laws a solid frame, A place where every wise man goes: GOPLACIA is now my name.""
[  Edited by Salinger at   ]
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Punkycarrot is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yeah
your friend should know that if he frinds a girl who he loves so much he wants to marry and she feels the same way about him she wont care if he has a hairy back

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"rock on"
 43yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
quote:
But can you please explain how you linked the Oedipus complex to not wanting to admit to liking hairy backs?

(the complex can relate to young girls as well as boys?)



The sex is irrelevant to the concept and works both ways, I think there is a specific title for the female version but I don't remember it. But ya, not everyone is comfortable admitting sexual attraction to a type of person when it obviously comes from what they can relate and have grown accustomed to through family and parents.

quote:
.and then a loss of love for the hairy back?


It can go that far, but usually would stop at just not being comfortable admitting that particular association, a direct link to parents or family, for the primal attraction is hard to deny.

quote:
Honesly I tried.....but some of us only have a couple of peas rolling around up there.......



Sounds to me like you are well ahead of the game.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that syrcadalena is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Unless I'm much mistaken, the female version is called the Electra Complex.

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"For each time mankind progresses, man himself regresses."
 43yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
From a quick web check, you would be absolutely correct.

This particular complex seems also to have been associated with an idea of "penis envy". To understand where they are getting that term and how here is a link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electra_complex

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • M •
Salinger is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Good on ya syrcadalena--thanks for the name of the female version of the oedipus complex...

Leftwood-- thanks for the info and the follow up link...will check that out! ......
I had read somewhere that the complex was thought to have come from a Greek play (basis for Homer)...about a man who killed his father (the King) then married his mother (the Queen)...so I just couldn't get past the "male" part......

So thanks for the insight......would have bugged the #$@$ out of me until I found out!


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""Of men, wealth, laws a solid frame, A place where every wise man goes: GOPLACIA is now my name.""
Of hairy backs and repelling women
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