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Mixed Emotions/Open Your Mind

User Thread
 37yrs • F •
Gypsy is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Mixed Emotions/Open Your Mind
I resent the fact that im expected to conform to the expectations of society... I detest all of the norms/regulations in life... All i see is pretence every where i turn. Trivial shallow people, complaining about how boring life is, people unable to withstand their own company, always trying to match the latest fashion trend in order to please others rather than themselves
(no matter how fashionably challenged the so called "trend" may be). Y can't eveyone just stop for a moment and be real for a change?
We're forced to put on our daily facade in order to get by & be acceptable in society...mankind is becoming more and more predictable & in-turn unstimulating ... Y do ppl say that they want to live life to the fullest and that they want to be their "own person", yet they go ahead & contradict themselves by playing the "role" society expects of them? I believ it to be true that the World is a stage and we all have our parts to play, its an inescapable fact... im trying to forsake it myself... i want to ditch my "part" and learn more about myself as a whole rather than confine myself to the knowledge that's been planted inside my head by others (and therfore the knowledge that i've based myself upon) ...I don't want to be who i'm not anymore. You know what the hardest part of it all is...trying to triumph over yourself...It's not as easy as some are lead to believe.. I reckon we're our own worst enemies. We dont want to be judged yet we silently judge other people anyway.
Why cant we just say what we think and do what we feel without being judged at all? Why do i still care about other people's notions about me no matter how much i tell myself not to give a stuff?
Life was so simple, logical and real to me when i was a kid. I wish my view didnt have to change. It's amasing how much we take for granted....
What i'd give to go back to my childhood again.... to exist without real go about my day worrying only about weather or not i'm going to miss out on "The Smurfs" or not. I didnt know any better in order to worry about the "Real World" or what comes along with it...
Not until i was enlightened that is...
My desire for knowledge seems to be more insatiable the older i get & yet there are some aspects of life that i wish i was oblivious to..
(ignorance can be bliss when u want it to be u know)
Once upon a time the concept of my loved ones dying was foreign to me.. I just assumed that my parents were invicible...immortal...yet here i am today faced with the knowledge that one day they're not gonna be here by my side anymore...How do you just go on living when someone so dear is snatched away from you like that?...Taken without reason, question or warning....How do u just go on as if everything's fine, how do you delude yourself into believing that they were never there in the 1st place, as though they never really existed? That's exactly what i'd need to do.. i couldnt go on otherwise...I think i'd subconsciously create a mental blockage of that person within my brain, it would be my only escape mechanism..(besides suicide) I wouldnt be capable of not falling apart without it...i'd need to do it in order to go on living, if i didnt the pain would consume me and i know that id succumb to it. Im not as strong as i've lead the world to believe...but then hey...everyone has their weakness. I dont know why i wrote this and i dont particularly need a reason why, at least im feeling that little bit better. Bloody Capricorns..we need to chill out!

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""What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger""
 42yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Restless Mind is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.

just bugging ya, I have gone off on a rant or 2 a few times on here.

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[  Edited by Restless Mind at   ]
 41yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that wesdawgy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Great rant! I agree with so much of that.
I think one problem is that people tend to want to take the "easy path" and just fit in, whether fashionably or societal. It is so much easier just to go with the flow, than it is to find your own place within yourself. This is exactly why I am trying to find my own "religion" and not follow the "road to salvation" with another "religion".
I agree with the infrastructure problem Decius. This is why I have such a fufilling time in college; everything seems to have an oposition to it. Everything is constantly being challenged, even the damn fashion.

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"I'd like to say something profound....."SOMETHING PROFOUND""
 37yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that Danipog is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Our society shapes everyone in certain ways. There aren't many of these ways to follow, and it's damn hard to change society.

Feel lucky that you are yourself because you realize there is a system, and you want to break out. When you look at others and see that they are oblivious to the infrastructure that surrounds them you may find a little chuckle inside. I know I do every once in awhile.

But it's almost impossible to break out. And you'll see that most "outcasts" are just another part of the system. I've become a monster, every day is a contest to see who climbs the most rungs of society's ladder. I can't help myself. I've been shaped as well. But I still find comfort in knowing that I at least know I'm trapped.

My suggestion: Study the teachings of Buddhism and Jainism. There you'll find something very different from our society. Even if you choose not to follow these teachings, you may find yourself walking away enlightened in some way.

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 41yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that wesdawgy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Great point:
But I still find comfort in knowing that I at least know I'm trapped.

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"I'd like to say something profound....."SOMETHING PROFOUND""
 34yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that deletion_of_me is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Okay, normally, I would ignore this, but it's too good to let go.
1. You say that everywhere you look is pretence. Have you ever thought that these people might actually be like that? That it isn't some facade they use? They ARE shallow and petty and driftwood. Intellect doesn't come easilly to some. Nor does individuality.
2. What is it about society that you find not "real"? Is it the fact that people live their lives in society, or the fact that there is not complete anarchy? Chaos theory: evil exists, goodness itself is a chaotic creation. Why do we all prescribe to society? Because it is orderly and liveable.
3. Perhaps by living the live that society hands out to people, that IS living their life to the fullest. We live in a society with rules and boundaries, and our lives are set by these. The people who apparently don't live life to the fullest are those that follow the rules, yet they ARE living their life, by the rules, to the fullest.
4. Life is a stage, eh? EVERYONE has their part to play? Well, what about people like hermits, or miscarried children? those that don't impact upon life. You could say: hermits had a family first, or dead kids make parents strong. WOW: cause and effect. everything has an effect, and no one can just ditch their part. Fate, divine intervention, whatever. We ALL make an impact no matter how small.
5. You don't want to be who you are not? Who are you really? An anarchist who wants to see the dissolution of all government? We-he-hell: without government, we live in a world of freedom, sure. but who would stop those that rob you, beat you, KILL you? Society has its pro's. A disorganised society where everyone is their true primal selves would be a fantastic disaster.
6. As for judging people, we must. We each have morals, high or low, and if someone elses morals go against or with ours, we say "oooh, good" or "ooh, bad!" and we judge. The human condition my angsty friend.
7. You care because you have been brought up to do so. You are human, you learn. If you are told something, you take it as criticism, creative or no. You are told to learn from what you are told: "Hot - don't touch" works the same as "Ugly - get prettier, or stop ruining my view of the world"
8. As to having a perfect state of mind as a child, that's called naivety: you knew nothing then. (Like you said, "I didn't know any better" Now you start to question society. Sorry it's discomforting, you'll just have to live with it.
9. You want knowledge, yet you want to break free of the bonds of society and its standards. Hmm... interesting combination. Yet, within your thirst for knowledge, you have morals, which society had interlaid within you, and these morals make you want to ignore certain aspects of the world. You can't have knowledge and be ignorant at the same time.
10. Your parents, they will die. Yet it is society and it's morals (now your morals) which says you should miss them. you should mourn them. I thought you wanted to break free of those bonds?
11. When your loved ones die, you don't delude yourself. They WERE there. You remember them, who they were, what they belived, how they influenced who you have become. You don't forget loved ones. That would be supressing anger and hurt. Memory is a dealing tool.
12. "I'm not as strong as I've led the world to believe" You once again care what the world thinks. You led the world to believe something of yourself and now bring it to our attention after being all high and mighty about not giving a stuff.
13. You say capricorns need to chill out? Why are you prescribing to the beliefs that capricorns all have a certain personality? Isn't that one of the bondages of society?
14. Why even write in english? isn't that what is expected of you? Isn't that one of society's big "Do This" rules?

Mundane, and overdone. The 60's was about breaking free of the bonds of society. You're a late-born Flower Child.

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 34yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Angelfire is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
"But eventually (if you are lucky) you learn to live with it, even get good at it. Then you actually start disliking people that don't fit into that structure even though you were once one of them."
Very true. Really, its an aquired taste, I hope we all figure out how to live in society eventually.

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"Durch Nacht und Blut das Licht"
 37yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Decius - i feel like im going to be a sad idealist my entire life but i think i have begun "seeking the happyness" as it were...

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 50yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that I R Me is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
to coform or not to conform that is the question!
I am a non conformist I really dispise how this society runs but in order to survive i must go with the flow. Often I feel I am in disguise and that is just the way it has to be. I think though if you look hard enough you will find others who are like you and that is what can make the whole thing worth it - those wonderfull connections....

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"No one ever won a war by sitting in a ditch"
 41yrs • M •
NamelessSoul is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Caught inside, this storm rages on,
he fights and screams while the battle is in his heart.
Losing all sight of the light he has seen.
Lost in sorrow, and on the edge worth,
Yearning for something to bring an end to this birth.
It's like the frozen rain, falling from way up high,
you'll never fall from the same place twice.
I can't see the light you speak, or hear the touch you give, caress, taste the splender of your voice and love the heart you possess.

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"It's until you've lost everything, that your free to do anything."
 33yrs • F •
smile4me298387 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
HI! im new here to this website thing. Well i just made a huge mistake a few days ago. Im engaged and i cheated and now i really am feeling that guy and i think that he is the kind of guy who hit it and quits it. well i dont know what to do... help?

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"Always Smile!"
 33yrs • F •
smile4me298387 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Im 16 and yes engaged. He is 19 bout to be 20 and really loves me. I told him about the other guy and he wants to work things threw i also told him i am too young to get engaged and married next summer like he wants. He is heart broken. i dont know if i did the right thing but i tried.

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"Always Smile!"
 55yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that cowgirl is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Look kiddo I am 38 and have been married for 23 years, I was young and we went through a lot of things together but I would never do it again at that age. I missed so much of my childhood being a wife and mother at so young an age. Think about it a long hard time and if necessary live with im before you decide to marry him.

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"Life is like a box of chocolate you never know what you will get!"
 39yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that ITISASISEEIT is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I've often asked myself the same questions since finishing school and at times in my life when I have been studying and unemployed. The social norms that exist in society have been manufactured over centuries and are generally controlled by the government. The government's plan seems to be to incubate us in school teaching us and brainwashing us until we are perfect archetypes that fit into the government's 'liberal' society. Any rebellion of these structures and the law is on to us and we end up in a cell.

Then there are the media, Televisions, newspapers, the radio etc, which also control society. They have an incredible influence over societies trends and often dictate the latest fashion trends. The television reaches a mass audience and there are a lot of young impressionable people out there who sub consciously look to it for answers and role models. I think the reason for this is fear and ignorance. People want to be loved and so out of ignorance they follow someone they see on tv who is loved and try to be like them. This has a rippling effect throughout school and then the young generation as a whole. So everyone starts acting and dressing the same. I see friends and family acting out this fašade all the time and I know the reason why is because they want to be loved and fit in and can only do so by following the schema that society provides.

Everyone is judged based on the moral values that are considered righteous according to society. The source of these values comes from religion and ethics constructed over time in the developed world. I think most people would agree that they share the same moral principles. Then there is 'bitching' which I hate but am guilty of. This is a result of either insecurity or fear or sometimes is just used to vent anger. It exists and will never go away. Its hard to escape. But action speaks louder than words.

A loved one dying is about as hard as it can get, getting through it takes time. At no more important time is it best to think positively. So when I think of this subject I imagine my deceased one looking down on me from heaven wanting me to succeed in life and fulfil my ambitions and most of all be happy. If the deceased one had a close bond with me then I would try to imagine what they would want to happen from here and see me do.

I need another reefer

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"Great visions often start with small dreams"
 42yrs • M •
Malachi(GOJ) is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Think of it this way people do these things in order to feel accepted if they didn't feel accepted there would be more me running around *shudders* oh wait it might be a good thing though.... More me running around not feeling accepted would mean that they would have something in common feeling accepted. I like the theory...yep a dep dep

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"always shine brighter and better than anything else one day your chance might come."
Mixed Emotions/Open Your Mind
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