To get others to come into our ways of thinking, we must go over to theirs; and it is necessary to follow, in order to lead - William Hazlitt
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Why did God create the universe - Page 7

User Thread
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Yeah I can see that for sure. I don't consider people who condemn anyone to be Christian because Christ never condemned anyone. Ever hear the story about the whore that was about to get stoned to death by the very religious community of the time? Christ stood up for her and said "He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her" Apparently no one there qualified because not one stone was thrown and they all went away. Jesus asked the woman "Where are they? Has no one condemned you? When she told him nope he was like, well neither do I so go on your way and sin no more. The story picks up later and it turns out that she did stop sinning. The moral of the story was that the love and kindness Christ showed the woman made her see herself differently to where she could not be a whore anymore. That is what real Christianity is about. I guess some people miss that.

I think that condemning pseudo Christians get more publicity because they are so negative. Like how we only hear about crime and scandal in the news and not about the good things that happen in the world. As a result we perceive the world as a much more dangerous place than it really is. Apparently you have met a "christian" that scorns homosexuals and you have promoted that representation here. I wonder if you have in fact met more real Christians that have showed you exemplary kindness that never declared their faith. Or even if they had you don't choose to talk about them. I think there are a lot more loving Christians than most people think.

If anyone is interested in what Christianity is really about forget what you heard and read the new testament. Jesus is a really cool guy. Fictional or not, I wish there were more like him in the world and there actually could be if he didn't get such a bad wrap and more people wanted to be like him.

I believe subscribing to anything improbable is inherently unhealthy

Let me ask you... do you think it is unhealthy to read "Catcher in the Rye" and learn something about yourself that makes you a little stronger? Improbability is not an issue there is it? Yes it is fiction that does not include stories about improbable things like miracles, but it is a story all the same. Why is it healthier to subscribe literature that is more probable that can help you a little bit than to subscribe to literature that is less probable that can help you a whole lot?

I didn't subscribe to what I learn from reading about Christ because I believe in his miracles... it is the kind of man he represents that is the true miracle. The kind of love and wisdom his character portrays despite the hateful and ignorant characters that reign in this world could make some more prone to believe in his miracle because he was so good. That was the order of things for me anyway. Growing up hearing about it by hearsay I was like whatever, water to wine...anyway. But after going through life and experiencing the great deficit of love in this world, then reading about Christ's more probable acts of love and kindness it made more sense why people believed in him.

Can you see it the other way around? Do you still think most people only like Jesus because they believe he made blind people see? Or perhaps it is that most people who believe in Jesus were themselves blind to the goodness in their lives and after they read about Christ they could see it? There are some very powerful poetic archetypes in the parables of Jesus that have the power to transform people's thinking just as something like cognitive behavior therapy might. I have practiced both. First CBT... it helped. But the transformation in me that resulted from gleaning wisdom from books like Proverbs, Luke, John, and so on. Kinda miraculous.

But you might be right. Maybe I am different from most, yet I cannot agree with that because I am not special. The only thing special about me is that I used to be an extraordinarily miserable human being... more horrible than than most... but now I am much better. This is the character of many Christians I know so the only reason why I am even sharing these things here is to open some eyes about "my type". Not to convince anyone that god created the universe or that what religious people believe is real, but that its not all bad and in fact... it was meant for good.

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Iron! Thank you for the such high compliments. I really appreciate you saying that. To be considered insightful, intelligent, and articulate... that is grace. Christians believe that God gives us grace, in that he sees us in a most favorable light... sees us at our best even when we are at our worst. Believing in God is believing in your best self. Faith is being thankful for that grace. So I gotta give God the credit for your favorable review because in my case... that's how got that way.

Anyway, no proselytizing. This is not the venue so thanks for the tolerance... I'll not wear out my welcome.

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 33yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Theory is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
@ beaph.... Hw can you jump to the conclusion that I'm not a nice person?
On a daily basses I help thos in need and only wrote this statement in an attempt to enlighten your minds and to hopefully make atleast one person who has been brainwashed with religion since birth Just to question there reality...
Many people who's parents who are very religious preech to there children instead of allowing personal choice. I was lucky anouth to be born free and make my own conclusions on reality...
To many people take the bible litteraly if anything it is a book of metophores designed to guide the reader on to the correct path... I'm not a farther but a firm Believer in freedom to make your own choices rather than forcing your own missconstruded beleiths on inocent vunerable minds. To sugest that it is acceptable to do so you are then agreeing with Muslim extreamists teaching there children that it acceptable to blow themselfs up for there beletgs in greater good... I understand that you are happy and only preech good things and do good things but to tell your own child that there is a god when in actuall fact there is NO proof of it and to denounce evolution when there is substatial proof just seems rediculace to me hence my previous statement and theory joining religion and evoulution together in an attempt to answer the untimate question...

If anything you shouldn't be casting judgment upon me as I'm sure it says in the bible that only god can judge instead you should be arguing your case unless your admitting I'm right lol

I'm very happy and contempt with my reality i am shrouded in love from freinds and family and in return do the same...

Ps I was merley using the bottom comment for shock factor and didn't mean to ofened anybody...

Much love to the awakened few

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"We breathe natures breath until we are tired and layed to rest..."
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I gotta stop coming here. Y'all get me so caught up I get nothing else done! I'll just address one thing at a time and maybe not all. I may have to stop reading for today because I too must eat...

The good things Jesus did does not compensate for the judgments. You are saying she stopped sinning - who says its a sin to be a whore to begin with?

That's where the negativity of your beliefs begin to ooze out, which is why such hard responses are spawned from people like Theory.

"Who says its a sin to be a whore to begin with is where your misunderstanding of "my beliefs" begins to ooze out which may be just as much of a reason for responses like theory's (ones own misunderstanding).

There is a lot more logic about the sin issue than you might think. The bible says sin is death right? I am a whore. I sell my body for money. Men use me and treat me terrible. I am sad and living a lonely ugly life instead of a life that is filled with love... a life I wished I had. I am also sick because I sleep with so many men and often the condom comes off. I have diseases. They are killing me. I might as well be dead. My sin has lead me to a living hell ergo, if you sin you end up in hell. Why is that so improbable?

You kill someone in a fit of rage and end up on death row because the prosecutor convinced the jury that your acts were premeditated. You regret it, you wish you had not done it because you have a young daughter that needs you. Now your sin has lead to your death. Just so happens your daughter was me, the whore. I ended up a working girl because when we lost you, mom went nuts and became a drug addict and I ended up in foster care where I was molested so I ran away at age 14 and ended up on the streets (hell).

Sin is the stuff we do that is bad for us. Pretty commonsensical don't you think? You have attacked it like it is some sort of judgment which goes to your point about the old testament and the new testament. If you have not read the bible you really should not be making much comment about this stuff anyway because then you are relying on how others have interpreted it and not yourself which would suck because you have a great head on your shoulders, but let's just assume you have... In the old testament people had to go by religious law, which did not work out very well because people always sinned (as in did things to hurt themselves and others) which often resulted in God's judgement which many times made him want to destroy people. In the new testament God sent Jesus to die on the cross so that we could live by grace instead of by the law and judgement so he would not have to keep acting in wrath. Dude, I am not saying any of this is real I am just trying to show you that the bible does not necessarily contradict itself by changing its stance on how to deal with sin. The change from the old testament to the new testament does not negate anything or try to. It is simply an evolution. Does the fact that slavery is not legal in America now negate that it once was? NOPE! Thankfully American law and culture evolved from that. Why can't there be evolution in the bible? There are still people today who think black people are inferior and should be slaves... to be in agreement with your stance on the old testament and the new testament in relation to "christians" who condemn people by the law and Christians who live by grace... you would also have to say that because white people used to condemn black people into slavery and some white people still think this way, that black people are still condemned to slavery and all white people are asshole racists even though it has been made illegal by white people who wanted to actually live by the their own proclamation that all men are created equal.

"The good thing Jesus did cannot compensate for the judgements?"

Are you talking about God's judgments in the old testament or the way pseudo christians condemn people? Either way... People condemned by God in the old testament and people who are condemned by other people now are being condemned by religious law. Honor killings take place in the world today because of people who are condemning others based on religious law. In the new testament Jesus came (or people authored a story as such) to end that kind of insanity. To make it possible for people to live under grace instead of under law. Sin will still lead to death because that's just the reality of the situation unless you believe that people who behave bad can be happy...

Do you think there really is a such thing as a happy hooker? Or how about the woman who sleeps around because she does not believe relationships are worth the drama. Is she happy? Maybe in today's world woman can convince themselves that this makes them happy. Men may be opt to think women would be happy with such a life style because it is in their nature to spread their seed as much as possible. But I am a woman and I can tell you that my nature is opposite of such no matter how I might like it to be different so I could have more fun. Trust me, if sleeping with all the fine men I know I could pick up at some bar on a Saturday night could make me happy or at least not make me feel like shit... I would do it!! I'm sure I could have as many as I want all at the same time if that floated my boat but is simply does not. I have a girlfriend who is into that kind of lifestyle. Seems to make her happy or at least does not seem to make her feel bad. But I have known her a long time. She drinks booze most days of the week. Smokes weed. Does not keep her house clean. She has cats and it stinks really bad in her house because she rarely bothers to change the litter box. This is not the picture of health and happiness to me, but this could just be my judgement of her. I don't mean to judge and I hope she is happy... I just know that when I let my house get really dirty or am drinking booze often, it is because I am depressed. She is my best friend and I happen to know she is very depressed. She is a consummate atheist by the way, yet I love her dearly and never try to convert her. She would never go for it. Anyway, that was a big tangent to address a possible opposing argument to me saying that sin is death because being a whore makes everyone sick. Maybe it does not make everyone sick and people that do "bad" things can be happy. Not my personal experience though.

On the other hand what is the opposite of sin? righteousness? Yeah what is righteousness? Let's say it is "life" because it is the good things you can do for yourself and others. Usually the things that take more time and are not that fun. I am a single mother... So is my good friend I spoke of before. I can come home from work and cook my son a great wholesome meal and then clean up afterwords so that I am raising up a boy in an environment that any parent would hope their child would adopt for himself when they control their own environment. I feel stressed and tired but we go out for a brisk walk anyway because I know regular exercise can thwart depression. Or because I am so stressed out being a full time graduate student and head of household working full time... I instead find it easier to sit on the sofa with a bottle of whiskey and escape into the tv while my child nukes a frozen meal....

Which option is harder to do but has better long term results and which option is a quick fix but very negative results in the long run? Well the first is the righteous choice and the second is the bad choice... the sin. I have done both and if you can't respect my logic maybe you can respect the purity of a child. When I did option B my son was sad. When I do option A he is very very happy. Come on people... you think religious people are brainwashed and judgmental because many are, but non-religious people who oppose religion need to get passed thier own brainwash and judgement of common sense just because some people have taken the common sense of sin and righteousness and made it ugly.

I personally don't see it that way because of how I was raised which was by people who also thought that the common sense of sin and righteousness was evil and judgmental (both parents raised in religious homes) and therefore did not teach me good habits nor deter me from bad ones (I nuked a lot of frozen dinners in my day). And as a result... well let's just remember what I have said about myself throughout this discourse. Another interesting fact is that my friend who does not clean her house or cook wholesome meals for her son was also raised in a very strict religious home. Are we seeing a pattern here? Anyone seeing this trend occurring in their own history? So yes, I can see why religion can be bad, but I can also see where a complete rejection of good philosophy can also be bad.

So with all I have observed on the issue of religion and in all areas of life is that finding a balance seems to be the most reasonable thing to do... DECIUS, remember in the discourse about if nothingness is impossible you said the correct stance is non-commitment because there is no evidence to support if it is possible or not... Sounds like being on the fence which also requires balance. I hope that if we continue to talk about this stuff you will try to stay on the fence about judging "my believes". Because I am always going to try to defend myself if you determine that they are negative because well... i am positive now and never was before. Now this is not to say that beliefs I seem to share with others are never applied negatively by someone sitting next to me. But you yourself are applying something I said about sin in a negative way. You considered it a judgement to say "it is a sin to be a whore" then proceeded to condemn whoever it is that said it was. But the story I told you never said it was a sin to be a whore. The people in the town accused the whore of sinning. Jesus refused to condemn her for their accusation. She sinned no more by discontinuing a behavior that worked against her. You are the one who said it is a sin to be a whore. You made sin the noun and "to be" the verb which sounds more like you are accusing the idea of sin of pissing you off.

This is what you inferred from the story i told but you did not read the story for yourself. I hope a need to judge me or find fault for supporting Christianity did not factor into what you inferred. I think it might have, because there are other reasonable inferences you could have drawn from the story which could have manifested in a different phrasing of your question. If you must find fault in the story and accuse someone of negative judgment based on their premise that whoring is a sin you could have asked..."Who said that a whore sins against herself?" I wonder why you used sin in its noun form instead of the verb. Perhaps you don't see it for what it is... negative behavior that is harmful... which is why you did not see the real lesson in the story. To be a whore is to sin against yourself. Don't be condemned but don't hurt yourself anymore my love. You deserve a good life just as much as anybody else. That no one should judge others for sin because everyone does it to themselves. It is the kind of thing someone has to change for themselves because they want to be better. It carries in part a similar message of Micheal Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" I wonder why you did not see it like that.

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 44yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Theory, she covered your initial question.

Beuphema, no problem but don't discount your part.

But you must now take stock of what else you need to address.

As I told dbh and Decius and Theory are telling you. You cannot support Christianity as a whole without supporting what's wrong with it.

Jesus and morality have nothing to do with Chrisitianity. That's just a cult basically that has taken good things and big lies and packaged them together to control minds.

Its classic psyop. Take something bad and put a good spin to it and get people to enforce their own enslavement.

Jesus would throw up if he saw how "christians" are acting in his name. Just as I am with americans acting in my name and the name of the american people.

They don't get a pass. Separate the wheat from the chaff, do not back down to their tyranny, cause I guarantee you that they will fight you questioning them.

But most are good people just unsure of what's true and fear they must choose and fight to the death to protect this belief they are using as an unstable foundation as long as it has these inherent contradictions.

And the more you advocate for christianity without addresses its issues, you are helping perpetuate bigotry, fear, and indoctrinational enslavement.

You can take some heart in the fact that christianity and the bible were not always as corrupt, their god spoken truths have been manipulated and changed by man.

But don't let yourself be part of the problem just because it makes you feel better to not look at the consequences of their and your own actions.

Nothing is ever perfect, but endorsing blatant beligerant hypocritical delusional denial based enslavement and bigotry is unacceptable.

But I have faith that you will come to understand your responsibilities.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
PS- I don't go to church. I don't associate with Christians much either. I don't like religion or brainwashing so I don't think "calling myself a christian" has much to do with social identity. Especially since I rarely admit it in public. I am majorly intrenched in academia. There is no place for God where I dwell. Yet I read the bible and I pray because I am alone even in a crowd. Aren't we all alone in our thoughts? I confess to my Christianity anonymously here because I started to talking to Jesus one day and never stopped because it made my life better. It as a result it's an underlying mindset that guides my attitude and behavior in the face of everything. Christianity is the name of a religion a Christian is one who is affected by the story of Christ. Whether I think it really happened or not I'm just as guilty of being a stupid Christian because like it or not that fucking story saved my life and I thank God for it. Fuck it.

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Iron. I fully comprehend the difference between true morality and religion. Before whatever it is we want to call "me talking to Jesus" I learned much about many different religions in the study of anthropology and every single one was either designed or used to control the masses and harness power to a few. Christianity is no less guilty of that and possible one of the most guilty. It's a damn shame. Can't tell you how many beautiful messages I have heard tv evangelists teach people only to add in their faith teaching message to solicit donations. That is when they tell people if they have faith they can donate money and it will come back to them seven fold or whatever. It's a real cluster fuck.

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 44yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Offhand before I forget, as I am partway through your tome lol.

Judgement is the primary sin if any.

Your pespective on your hooker point is way too limited and biased.

Can a hooker be happy? Ask every girl who dates and takes money, gifts, and lavashment for payment and doesn't even always put out.

If society wasn't so warped with often religious judgement, people wouldn't be so insecure and wouldn't look negatively on sex or promiscuity.

Sex is therapeutic and even necessary to survival and emotional stability, monogamy tends to be neither. Relationships are not confined to who you sleep with.

If society was healthy sex and nudity would be open and commonplace, barrig sanitary issues.

Hookers wouldn't exist as love and sex would be open and free and enjoyed and hailed for all its glory, drama wouldn't exist in comparison.

These are the trappings of indoctrinated minds. It was my own sexual "abuse" that led me to my revelations. As sex is not abuse unless forced. Being too young to know the difference is key.

People use that as an arguement for the abuse model, but they fail to see how it is their teaching children and people that sex is wrong and abusive that is the abuse.

The same goes for someone saying they love giving love to the earth through wicca and druidic ways etc, Christians call them heretics and blasphemors and satan controlled demons for worshipping other than what they say is ok. These people are giving and expressing love, just like gays, and being condemned, there is no greater travesty.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Theory, I think calling a group of people ignorant fucks is mean but I don't think I condemned you for doing that by suggesting you share how you get through life so happily and healthfully without religion.

But I accept anything you say I did is error because I don't have the energy or desire to be defensive nor can I see what you said while I am writing here so I can't quite remember.

What I do remember is that is sounds like you have a great life and are actually a pretty nice person. I took your last dramatic statement and ran with that and I am glad that your response has revealed that people who do not believe in god are good nice people. That was the point of my message to you really. Suggesting that if religion is so bad and foolish it would be good if someone like you who is fine without it represented how great life is on your side of the street. I don't know what exactly is wrong with me because I don't get much edification from anybody on this planet. Everybody is selfish and mean at some point. At least to me. Maybe I am too needy or something. Maybe I am crazy. But I am happy with my imaginary friend named Jesus who is always there and always really nice to me. LAMS

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 44yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Good, I see you are well informed and level headed about most of what is important. I will be curious to see how you take the sex abuse.... comments lol.

But I liked your phrasing of the difference between chritianity and a christian. Never fear or feel shame for speaking to yourself, jesus, god, higher power, it is all one and the same, it is you finally loving yourself, the greatest homage to god that can be given.

Also the biggest thing taken from most people by organized religion who damands them to seek love and acceptance from others and to call themselves wretched sinners.

God created death and sin and therefore is the biggest sinner of all, and we are god, sin is a judgement, the only sin I know for sure is to judge instead of love, oneself and others as we are one and therefore when judging others we judge and fail to properly love ourselves.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Theory you really hit on the sore topic with sex. you might be biased there because some people are simply monogamous. i don't know if you are a man or a woman or if it makes a difference, but I am a woman that just wants what i want. i have indulged in plenty of sexually free behavior (so as not to refer to it negatively as promiscuity) but that is only because my first husband cheated on me along w few other failed relationships. i would much rather have a committed monogamous long lasting relationship because I fall in love with my man and it hurts to have to stop if the relationship becomes unhealthy. This has nothing to do with what society told me about all that stuff you claim is at fault. It has to do with the fact that I'm a natural woman who naturally want a man who will be a good steady support for my offspring. Most woman are wired this way. I have found then after men become fathers that actually give a crap about their children tend to respect the relationship with the mother more than they ever have with girlfriends driven by the desire to care for their own and not have someone else do it.

Anyway I think it is way off base for you to generalize about a persons stance on sex and relationships like you did. I just don't think you understand the other side of where you stand at all. I understand where you are coming from because I have tried it for myself. Not feeling it. All I ever talk about is where I stand based on how I feel derived by my experience. Then I get responses like yours that say all people have problems with sex because of moral condemnation! Fuck, this is not teaching me anything because it does not help me. I already know how I tick and you cannot tell me why. I want to know how you tick. All I know is that you are the opposite of the generalizations you make about certain people. How does do your claims reveal any truth to what you are saying. I have heard for years that I want to be in a loving committed relationship because of movies that romanticize love and religion that condemns sex. BULLSHIT! I wand a loving committed relationship with a man because that is what is in my heart to give in a relationship and there is absolutely nothing that defined that for me or anything that is ever going to change that. Believe.... I have tried. For a forum of people that talk so much about close minded people I certainly have been pushed into several more pigeon holes than should be expected. Is there any other way to communicate? A way to agree or disagree or learn without having to disavow the passions of our own hearts. Iron I respect your stance on monogamy. It is certainly not for everyone, but can't you respect that it is the best thing in the world for some people. It makes me so sad to think that by your logic, the relationship my aunt has with my uncle and the happy healthy home they shared with their children for the last 20 years is all a bunch of hog wash! Sad.... very sad.

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 44yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Do not place your limitations on my words.

Relationships grow and change, there are many dynamics at play. And the biggest are fear based caused by insecurities of not meeting your own expectations and that of others.
You thinking your feelings and decisions aren't influenced by a sick society is absurd. Untill you even know all the factors you can't even know what influences you. Are out society has so much sickness in it right now that there is no such thing as an uninfluenced perspective.

You can find happiness in any situation, you are pigeon holing yourself by taking a notion you have romanticized and claimed you need or desire. Happiness is always with you if you choose to embrace it.

My point was about sin but you obviously got tripped up by some defensive insecurities so I didn't even get my curiosity addressed, sad day.

The grass is always greener on the other side when you aren't appreciating properly what you already have.

If you are learning nothing then that is no ones fault but your own, even learning other peoples limitations and strengths is learning more about yourself.

Saying some others are simply manogomous does not address why. And exempting them from their life of influence judgement and bias is extremely short sighted of you.

You can ask your family if they are glad they stayed together and they will likely say yes even though it wasn't always easy yadda yadda. But you will never be able to get an answer as to if they would have been happier doing something different, or trying something they refrained from along the way, or especially how they would have acted or felt if raised in a society not so full of fear judgement and limitation.

Options and decisions can be hard and scary. Don't worry about it, just do what you feel is right, but don't act like your not making a choice as to decide what's right for you. We all have to live with regret for what we denied ourselves that felt right at the time, or even moreso in hindsight, but as long as we are happy where we are at at all times as much as possible, regret doesn't matter.

You did not have promiscuous sex because of your husband cheating, you chose to.

Falling in love does not equate to monogamy nor do relationships have to end to allow more sex.

Your body doesn't stop wanting those other hot guys regardless of your dating status, ya, sometimes your full and not as hungry lol, but it doesn't diminish love.

Insecurities about such feeling in you and your lovers however do. Feeling not good enough, feeling he isn't commited enough, etc etc.

So take a breath, regain objectivity, and look over the point again. Society's judgements have shaped this world of war, greed, and death, but so have factors as nature and reality, we just let society make them worse.

We can't change that bob and suzy have looks and bodies that get them more ass and even the attention of our chosen mates, but we also don't share how empty their lives often are because people don't see them as people etc etc.

So of course you can be monotonous and happy, but not as happy as you would be if like some, not saying you, though your defensive outburst does lend credence, if like some you deny why when denying your natural instincts.

Just for fun, shouldn't monotonous relationships end when kids leave then? Not necessarily I know, but I'm just playing with your premise.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
These are the trappings of indoctrinated minds. It was my own sexual "abuse" that led me to my revelations. As sex is not abuse unless forced. Being too young to know the difference is key.

I could not figure out if you were talking about yourself being sexually abused in childhood or if it was something else you were referring to or if I had revealed my own childhood sexual abuse and you were quoting me as example of an indoctrinated mind. I don't think I had revealed it though and if you have experienced that you might want to slow your roll. For years I actually held your stance on the matter of monogamy and sexual promiscuity because... well I'm not sure if it was because I actually was cool with promiscuity having been exposed to it in various forms at such a young age or if I was telling myself that not to feel bad about having my incense taken advantage of once I reached my teens and realized what happened. None the less, I change my stance about monogamy after I fell in love for the first time. In love enough to make a child on fucking purpose with someone! I don't think monogamy or promiscuity is unhealthy if it works for the individual.

I totally agree with you about the benefits of sexual activity. I kinda miss being able to get it with whoever I happen to be attracted to without deeper feelings getting in the damned way. I don't know how old you are, but I consider myself an adult now and I found the above scenario got old and much less fulfilling after a while. I ended up wanting more of what I found was more challenging to get. Maybe I just like a challenge and after a while I realized it is really easy for an attractive girl to get boys to...(I musta been pretty slow) Anyway my point? I don't know. Well I do know I'm just tired of trying to make any that might fall on deaf ears attached to mouths that think they have an answer for everything just by denying my truth and advancing theirs. See, I am not denying your truth. My truth is that whoring myself for money or even worse, how I actually used to for fucking free, does not make me happy so I stopped. The whore in the story must not have been happy if she stopped on a word from some strange dude. If she was getting off on that shit nothing would have deterred her from that life. Shit, I could go out in a few hours and bring home whoever I want and do whatever I want with them. Not to mention all the numbers I already have in my phone of men who gave them to me for a chance to get there with me. Many of which I could get plenty of free dinners and what not without out ever putting out because once they get tired of waiting there is another one to replace him. But that's not my heart either. If there is no connection I don't waste folks time and money. So why then? What deters me from getting my ricks off? Is it the fear of moral condemnation? Hell fucking no! I am just not that easily satisfied anymore. So you tell me how the fuck is that unhealthy? You think by rejecting superficial situations I am not going to better free myself up for the kind of relationship I do want? Do you see this as denying myself something? Why hold out, in the mean time have fun right? Trust me it just don't work that way either. Accepting anything less than what I want is actually denying myself what I really want. But you could beg to differ yet still I am sure so what's the law... the foundational truth that could say one of us is right and one of us is wrong? I don't think there is one in this case. But what do you think about that old saying.... You can't keep doing the same things and expect a different result. I think we could agree to the wisdom in that right? So by that logic we should conduct our sex lives in accordance with the results we want based on a foundation of which results we have achieved with specific individual behaviors (which could absolutely produce different results for different people.

If nothing ever bothers you or harms you then in your world there is no sin. And if everything works for you and pleases you then you live in a world of pure righteousness. Where is it and how to I get there. Send me the address so I can Google it. Oh wait, it does not matter where your world is because what works for you don't sound like it's gonna work for me. Your world sounds like my worst personal hell.

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
PS- I am happy with or without a monogamous relationship. I don't like flings anymore. They are a waste of my time. I don't think this has anything to do with how the world has shaped my perception or that the grass is greener for someone else. My lawn is plush and at this point in my life I am happy to mow it for myself, but if someone thinks they want to come run through it in bare feet they are gonna have to commit to helping me mow it on a regular basis. I must have my lawn mowed the way I like it and not just anybody can get the job done right. Just as I have gotten in the routine of doing it myself. I will get used to to having some good help and would obviously prefer it. Yes this is a pun and it is intended. So I am not discounting the truth of your "life is what you make it" philosophy when you try to teach me who already know you can joy is a decision. You are talking to someone who has had to see the bright side of a lot of fucking crap so trust me I know how to enjoy life. I don't see how knowing what I want and what makes me happy and living by those standards for myself is in anyway not enjoying my life. I believe you are enjoying your life, but can't understand why you assume that since I live mine in a different way that I am not enjoying it.

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 44yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Ironwood is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I have made no such assumption of you.

In big responses to big posts contexts get intertwined and convoluted.

A statement you made about denying influence of society was the basis of my point about someone living in denial of other factors mentioned.

I have not condemned you or your choices, and I have not even expressed my own. I am inherently a devils advocate in my words.

When you say something definitive, az I accidentaly do at times, such as, it just doesn't work that way, you contradict your own point about what works for others.

That's all.

Youspeak a little too strongly, for others, about what can be gained or not from this or that, or I am misinterpreting your personal feeling for you talking about others.

Like I said, you got a little less clear when you emotionally reacted to the sex issue and so did I.

Flings and connections through short experiences or relationships are their own things, but all are connections, any battles you have or feel for or against are your own. As you are saying.

All I was saying is that for those who do avoid realities of influence in their choices have less stable happiness due to faulty foundations. Except for those truly gifted with ignorant bliss.

I was indeed referencing my own childhood experiences, but you did definitely allude to your own. Its my experience that certain behaviors reflect certain experience.

But I do not know what you mean by slow my roll.

I am not overly promiscuous personally but over the years the numbers grow quite large. I cherish every experience as a learning experience. Even ones I don't care to think of often, or ever lol.

So no, I'm glad you are happy and I hope it stays that way, but if it prevails that you must feel more pain to once again find happiness then I wish you the best all around, as that seems to be the natural cycle.

Obviously debate can be had over your beliefs and choices vs reality in terms of your past relationship and indeed more of my points would be made clear, because you obviously failed to take some realities into account when making expectations on your hubby.

But I'm not sure you're up to that at the moment. But I will say its harder to be hurt or sad when you don't have unrealistic expectations. Your uncles love shack wasn't built without blood sweat and tears either, moments of doubt and regret, fights etc.

My age and sex are still presented I believe by our monikers. Im almost 34 and male.

Adult matters not, in ten more years you may be complaining about what you didn't do. We evolve with time and input. Johnny five is alive.

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"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"
Why did God create the universe - Page 7
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