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Very, very, interesting discussion...
My thoughts are so close to Decius' posts I figured I'd throw my thoughts in here as well. I have in years past come to define PERSONAL sarcasm as such, "Sarcasm is the security blanket for the inherently insecure".
Sarcasm about current events and news topics happening around the world is great and can spice up conversation with wit and jocularity. The problem comes about when the topic at hand involves the personal emotions and thoughts of someone participating directly in the conversation. In this instance, insecurity seems to be the MAJOR, MAJOR precursor to the use of sarcasm. I have seen this in my own 34 years on this earth time and time again.
Self confidence in who and what you are (secure in yourself) can be felt from someone just talking to them. They communicate clearly, involving their emotion and beliefs in the conversation knowing that they way they feel is who they are and won't feel slighted by ANYTHING anyone else can say. They realize that they way the other person feels is something that is to be respected and potentially honored if you are emotionally involved or in love with the other person. Efforts to belittle someone else through invalidating their emotional state and/or thoughts through sarcasm is, generally speaking, extremely socio-emotionally disrespectful. It's saying, I'm most comfortable feeling superior to you and when I feel that you may be more enlightened than me, instead of learning from you and admit this fact, I'll invalidate you and your thoughts in order to avoid the reality that "I'm insecure and unenlightened."
Sarcasm allows the user to never truly assert that which they stand for for fear that they'll open themselves up for critcism and/or inadequacy. They never have to admit to themselves that "I'm not perfect". For if they were ever to be stripped of this feeling of superiority, they somehow feel that life may crash down around them.
I have found that communicating with very intelligent and SELF CONFIDENT people is a VERY neat thing. These people offer me the ability to absorb new view points RE the way see the world. Intelligent people are intelligent bc they NEVER miss this oppotunity, the opportunity to constantly absorb and assimilate new perspectives and ideas into their own life. They are in no way concerned that someone might know more about them. The pace of communication (the converstation) is extremely quick and efficient allowing no time for non-value-added interludes. Close-minded unintelligent individuals have this ever-looming fear that if they admit that they don't know everything and that someone out there may know more than they do, that somehow their life will dissolve into some chaotic torturous hell.
Consider this quote, "Truly intelligent people know at their very core that they in fact know nothing at all." When you truly believe this, there is no reason to become defensive and employ sarcasm to derail the progression of the conversation regarding an issue that may very well reveal that you may not know much about the topic at hand. Instead of embracing an opportunity to LEARN from someone and admit the shortcoming of knowledge, comfort is achieved by being sarcastic to protect a self invented facade of superiority.
I've NEVER EVER EVER seen someone personally assult someone with a pointed sarcastic comment and felt that the targeted individual felt fantastic following the comment, either to themselves or in front of onlookers. It ALWAYS introduces an aire of superioity, someone attempting to move themselves up in the group's "pecking order". Other intelligent individuals that witness the comment usually see it for exactly what it is, an indication that the perpetrator felt inadequate, and therefore had to redirect attentions from themselves to another in order to preserve that which they MUST have in order to feel comfortable with life - perceived superiority.
I am not capable of seeing it any other way. Further, the mere discussion of the fact that extreme personal sarcasm reveals the dynamics of internalized anger and insecurity will invoke responses from those inviduals who subscribe to this ideology (personal scarasm is acceptable) to the contrary as their doing what they've always done(!), make efforts to preserve their own security in the belief that they are intellectually supeiror to everyone else.
I ask you this... how are you TRULY relating to someone when your sarcasm is constantly upsetting the emotional balance of the discussion? You can't! So you CAN NOT define sarcasm as some value added social tool (personal sarcasm).
If you are failing to see the point I'm making, read one of the most popular books in the history of the world... "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People". In the book, social enlightment/development is achieved in 3 major steps. 1 Dependent, 2. Independent, 3. INTERDEPENDENT (the highest level of enlightenment). Many facets of life are goverened by this progression (other than social). For our purposes we're refering to SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT. Pay attention to people around you and you will see that many people HAVE NOT reached stage 3 and are caught in stage 2 - social independence. Once you've grasped the concepts you'll see how stage 2 socially independent individuals are notorius for using sarcasm. They are incapable of truly realizing that they are constantly destroying their social interaction with others with the ultimate goal to preserve, in essence, their own sanity. People are like emotional bank accounts, if you don't put any in, you won't get any out. Conversations are stuck on objective uninvolved content if you do not consider the emotional implications that your words have on others. TRUST ME. You'll know when you talk to a stage 3 interdependent communicator. You almost always leave the conversation feeling fantastic. Why, because they are constantly monitoring your emotional state via verbal and non-verbal cues. They are conducting the conversation to ilicit a sense of complete comfort when they are talking to you and are very very positive. Trust me, I've tried this and it works like you CAN NOT believe. I have gotten FAR MORE in life using this form of social interaction than I've ever gotten from sarcastically assaulting people. That $hit may have worked in high school, but, in the real world, it doesn't.
End of rant... Actually if someone can categorically refute this post and include actual situations where your sarcasm has left someone feeling like they are on top of the world and that you are their favorite person, PLEASE, share  ). Let me guess, I don't imagine I'll see a post any time soon.
Be cool out there all!! Remember, we are all here on earth for a short time, try to make it a good time too!
""The truly intelligent man has more questions than he will ever have answers.""
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