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How can someone make you so depressed?

User Thread
 32yrs • M •
catalyst is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
How can someone make you so depressed?
Hello everyone. This is my first post on here so here goes.

Over the past six months my ex girlfriend and I have essentially been broken up. She was my first love and the break up was incredibly ugly, based on big mistakes on both our parts. We both have seen other people since, I believe she currently has a boyfriend. She tried calling me the other day and left a short message, pertaining to school, which was the first time she has tried to make contact in about three months. I couldn't bring myself to respond. I've been so lost and emotionally distraught with hate, anger, sadness, despair, yadayadayada. I know deep down I still love her, and there is nothing she can ever do to change it. I've been so tempted to try and re-establish what we both had, but I don't even know what I want anymore, or if I'd take her back if I had the chance.

I've been so very lost, which is the worst feeling ever. Some would probably call it depression, but I've been trying my best to get past this pain. I have so much to be thankful and happy for yet this breakup has uprooted everything. I pray constantly for answers and happiness to return to me, but the days only "darken," to put it poetically. The girls I've seen since, one of which did make me pretty happy, didn't work out, only worsening the situation.

My question is, how can I get past this? All I want is to be happy and normal again. How can I cope with this? Everyday has been a struggle, and I'm starting to lose hope. I don't think I'd ever consider suicide or hurting myself but I don't see anything getting better.

Anyway, thank you for your time reading my story. I appreciate your input.

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 70yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that thx1137 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Catalyst, you posted this in January, so you are probably much better now. That is right, Time heals. Given the thought you gave to this, you have probably learned much as well. So, see that this was not a loss, but a gain. You learned. Next time you will not make the same choices that you did this last time.

I wish you well. I am older now, but I was there once when I was younger. I still remember that it was painful. So I do not mock you or take this lightly.

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 30yrs • M •
Blakemorrisus is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I realized you posted this a while back but I figured I would add my input on getting past my first love since this just recently happened to me.

My ex-girlfriend left me for another guy in December. The relationship had been going on for three years, and there were mistakes made on both our parts.

I was devastated for three months, almost made some incredibility stupid decisions but alass the past two months I have truly moved past her.

The key to moving on in my opinion depends on two things,
Learning to make your dependency on someone be a dependency on you.
and learning to suck it up.

To summarize, the first few months I tried to find release in others... my parents, girls, friends, or siblings. I figured they would be the fix and distraction to my heartbroken emotional state of being. It doesn't work. You need to learn that you are the one who needs to be fixed so you need to depend on your own ability to fight for those emotions / hormones to improve and then you will improve. Our body is a chemical superman built to change in seconds on some occasions. Use others around you as a catalyst to help release happy chemicals / emotions and distract, but never assume they are the answer.

Also realize you need to suck it up. In the end, it will be tough, there is no quick fix. It took two months to get past it all. So suck it up and get through your months, and if you are thinking of doing something you WOULDN"T normally do. Say no. don't question why your saying no... just say NO and walk away. Grab a bite to eat and distract yourself. I'm sure a large percentage of mistakes happen when people are depressed / heartbroken... because irrational choices seem ok during that period.

Eventually you will go into a state of neutrality at least, then happiness will surround you again.

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How can someone make you so depressed?
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