Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea. - Pouky
Captain Cynic Guides
Administrative Contact
Talk Talk
Philosophy Forum
Religion Forum
Psychology Forum
Science & Technology Forum
Politics & Current Events Forum
Health & Wellness Forum
Sexuality & Intimacy Forum
Product Reviews
Stories & Poetry Forum
Art Forum
Movie/TV Reviews
Jokes & Games
Photos, Videos & Music Forum

What's so Great about Shakespeare!

User Thread
 56yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that WolfLarsen is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
What's so Great about Shakespeare!
I've written a series of cantos based on William Shakespeare's sonnets.
I believe my cantos are better.
Many of the people I've read here on Captain Cynic today are better than Shakespeare.

Canto 1
by Wolf Larsen
From testicles & beautiful creatures we desire a big anus!
That torpedoes beauty into a mighty strawberry!
But the Grand Ripper rips time in half,
And he shall tender space-age testicles to the memory of the holy phalluses of hallelujah!
But blueberry! Constipated tornado hyenas floating on endless eyes,
Screaming flames & happy fools!
Making famines where the abundance of a few is enriched by the poverty of many,
So tie up & sex your foe! Penis delivery systems flying all over the planet!
Art so fresh it's a civil war!
And now hurry up to the telEphOne-spRing-WeStern-HemisPhere-gOng!
Within zipeeeees own bud-smoking-miracles!
And – tender whip-lashes – make loving poetry all over my skin!
Pity adjectives so delirious they can't find a noun to play with! So let this insane-sanity be!
Now eat all the world's doo-doo, by the grave of Superman.
Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen

Sonnet I
by William Shakespeare
From fairest creatures we desire increase,
That thereby beauty's rose might never die,
But as the riper should by time decease,
His tender heir might bear his memory:
But thou, contracted to thine own bright eyes, 5
Feed'st thy light'st flame with self-substantial fuel,
Making a famine where abundance lies,
Thyself thy foe, to thy sweet self too cruel.
Thou that art now the world's fresh ornament
And only herald to the gaudy spring, 10
Within thine own bud buriest thy content
And, tender churl, makest waste in niggarding.
Pity the world, or else this glutton be,
To eat the world's due, by the grave and thee. 14
Keywords: Shakespeare

| Permalink
 24yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that ravenclaw is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Actually your writing is the modern equivalent of Shakespeare. If you "translate" Shakespearean english to modern english, you discover that his comedies are like TV comedies and his tragedies are like TV dramas.

Although yours is a little more obviously stated and graphic and filled with random stuff - blueberries? torpedo? Superman? what??

| Permalink
What's so Great about Shakespeare!
  1  
About Captain Cynic
Common FAQ's
Captain Cynic Guides
Contact Us
Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
General Forum Rules
Cynic Trust Levels
Administrative Contact Forum
Registration
Lost Password
General Discussion
Philosophy Forums
Psychology Forums
Health Forums
Quote Submissions
Promotions & Links
 Captain Cynic on Facebook
 Captain Cynic on Twitter
 Captain Cynic RSS Feed
 Daily Tasker
Copyright © 2011 Captain Cynic All Rights Reserved.   Terms of Use   Privacy Policy