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premarital sex

User Thread
 32yrs • M •
bswildman is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
premarital sex
what is everyone's view on premarital sex?

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 31yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Oblivion is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I think that premarital sex is almost a necessity. Or at least a huge plus. If you are going to be in love with someone and be willing to spend the rest of your life with that person, you should know and love and accept every aspect about that person, including sexually.

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"If You Aint Ammo, You Aint Shit."
 35yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that fireangel is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Premarital sex is far from a necessity. Depending on maturity level, it can often take away from actually getting to know whoever it is that your having sex with. The relationship ends up becoming more about sexual interactions than it does about the actual person.

Supposing that you aren't actually even dating the person, it can lead to all kinds of risks, including std's and pregnancy (not to say these aren't risks when you're in a relationship, because they most certainly are, perhaps even more so). Trust me when I tell you that birth control is by no means fool proof. I once dated a girl who came from two generations of failed birth control pregnancies. Both her mother and grandmother had been on the pill when they became pregnant, and I've known several people to get pregnant even with the use of a condom AND the pull out method.

Simply put, there is no safe sex.

In addition, the statistics of marriages that end in divorce because of premarital sexual relations is overwhelming. If I'm not mistaken its somewhere in the range of 60% of marriages between people who participated in premarital sex got divorced.

Basically, it is a physically, mentally, and emotionally dangerous game to play outside of marriage. So if you ask me, I'd say its worth the wait. But if you're really that horny that you can't wait until you find the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with (at least that's how its supposed to go) then I'd say that's your choice.

I vote NAY

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 41yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that pupa ria is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
My vote doesn't count

Sexual maturity doesn't necessarily require genital experiences; sometimes people do it without being conscient of the psychological/emotional representations of the sexual act. General oppinion supposes, the church moreover, that sexuality is from animal instinct...
The act in itself may be animal but we as humans have the capacity of virtuality through which we detach ourselves from the object at hand to recreate it mentaly and giving it many significations in a moral perspective. We go beyond the object...this way our counsciousness to the world and our interpretations of it must have a paranoiac seed.
It is the same thing with sex.
I started having genital experiences around the age of 19 and now that i'm twenty seven, i realize that it may have helped me to know my body more but it haven't helped me mature emotionaly concerning sex. Fot me it is something that you can get into when you are mature in the latter context or else it will become a superfice for confusions and a rootless consciensness of your body. I believe that through the sexual act there must be a feeling of completement with the other and that only happens with a person you love. It is only logical to marry the person you love . So this is where the question asks itslef: Should couples first rely on sexual intercourse to get a profound knowledge of each other. Sometimes bodies meet while ego's clash and vice versa. This is for me an unanswerable question when it concerns the good and bad, this is why my vote doesn't count knowing that it's a no too.

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"I'm the mirror that will make you invisible"
 45yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Praetor is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
My vote really depends on when you ask me.

Such a question has the ability to be completely situational, depending on things such as how old the participants are, how long they've been dating, if they've already planned on getting married, and if so how long until that point, what each person's religion and/or culture says on the matter, etc.

Personally, at this moment in time, I don't see a problem with it, so long as it is able to be kept as just a part of the relationship, not a staple. If it becomes something the relationship hinges on, worthless. If not, hey more power to you if that's what you like.

But, therein lies the problem. You really can't judge how it will affect your relationship until you see what it becomes, which requires it to happen first. It is, in most senses, gambling. Best case scenario, you're both happier and it adds to the relationship. Any number of worse case scenarios... (pregnancy, std, even something little like arguments, etc.)

In the end, it's all up to the people who would be participating in said premarital sex. Perhaps in some cases holding it back is worse than actually doing it, who knows. All we'll ever know is what happens, not what could have been.

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"What's the point in not conforming, if it changes you?"
 33yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zachf is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
quote:
If it becomes something the relationship hinges on, worthless. If not, hey more power to you if that's what you like.


I think that is an extremely valid point. Couples burn out more often then not from building their relationship on top of sex when in my opinion relationships that are mutually beneficial are usually built on a strong sense of trust, security and fulfillment it that others life. I think that is why older couples on their second spouse have higher success rates, because they know how to build a strong relationship.

Although I have always lived by "if it feels right", sometimes it's wrong. When it's all said and done I don't think there is anything wrong with premarital sex but only a strong bond is already formed between the two people past infatuation.

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"Whether we wake or we sleep, Whether we carol or weep, The Sun with his Planets in chime, Marketh the going of Time. -Edward Fitzgerald"
premarital sex
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