38yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Gabriel23 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
||A change in conscious thought and understanding
A letter for HOPE
(Helping other peoples experience)
In the past year, I have undertook various journeys; thoughts, actions, and dreams. I always imagined that I had something very special for the world to see. That special something, has finally been revealed to me. I have journal entries from 2 years of my life. In this essay, you the reader will take a journey yourself.
In the past couple of years, I seemed to have lost my inspiration. (it leaves me wondering if I've ever had it) I felt like I had lost my drive for life. Inspiration to me is one of the foods of life. It is the source that drives us and makes us achieve the best possible life. Inspiration is not easily given, but when it is given, people's perceptions can change; their current state of consciousness can change. We all have to capacity to change our views, thought process, and lives. (I feel if I can get one person to consider a different view, my job is done, I influenced their thought process) Inspiration is the fuel that gets us there. Find someone that inspires you. Inspire someone around you. Pick someone up when they are down, it may mean the world to them, it may inspire them. A ear goes along way, with your ears, you gain wisdom for the brain. Those who take the time to listen learn the greatest lessons. Those lessons could be turned into inspiration for others. When looking for your inspiration, these questions for contemplation might be handy; what is my inspiration, what was I passionate about most in my life so far, what could make me a better person. Passion and inspiration are very similar. Passion is your love of something, and inspiration is the energy produced by the love which helps you complete your ultimate goal. Some people find inspiration through religion. Some find it by sheer luck. One of my inspirations is wisdom, when I see wisdom, I acknowledge it and learn from it, it inspires me to become more wise. So, by infusing my inspiration with my passion, I began a journey of incredible wisdom, which I will explain further in my essay.
After I started my journey, I began contemplating consciousness itself. I first began with my constant consciousness. Constant consciousness to me is your everyday thoughts that randomly appear in your head. I felt as though my constant consciousness was running without control. It to me seemed like a movie reel. I felt like there was an unconceivable amount of information flowing through my brain at all times, even when I slept. In modern day society, this is usually labeled as anxiety. I would later learn in intimate conversation with people that their thought processes were much the same. So, I ruled out anxiety. I figured there was a different way to control our thoughts, other than prescription drugs. In the following paragraphs I will discuss the way I began to control my constant consciousness, for it cannot be summarized in one paragraph of thought.
The next part of consciousness I thought about was advanced levels of conscious thought. I realized that each consciousness is unique. Human tendency is always similar, but our actual perception and thought processes very person to person. So, I analyzed mine. I wondered why I thought about things the way I do. I deduced that emotion, which if not created by God or another outside force, was created by man (a way of explaining the sensations we feel internally) So in turn I recognized the relationship between emotion and thought. I felt that emotion was guiding the way I thought, along with human nature. When thinking about this subject, a quote suddenly popped into my head. 'Nothing is impossible, only improbable.' Meaning what we know isn't always what we know. Nothing is truly consistent, not thought, not people, not life. This was a big truth for me. It began to bring understanding of subjects in my life, which I had not addressed. I began to analyze not by my thoughts, but by the thoughts of others. I truly began to walk inside of others shoes. Meaning, I listened, understood, and analyzed others thought processes. It brought a greater understanding of why we act the way we do. My biggest step in upper consciousness was brought to me by forgiveness. I had always had a trying relationship with my father. So for the first time in my life, I thought about his perspective and thought processes. I decided that he chose his path, whether he regretted it or not it was not for me to worry about. Then upon further analysis, I realized I would not have been the person I was if everything around me had not been lived exactly as it was. I was happy and proud of the way I was to people, and I didn't have to let his actions influence my decisions, and the way I saw life. So I did the best thing possible for both him and I, I truly forgave him. With that release, I felt that I had gained a different level of consciousness, a new thought processes. So I began forgiving anyone and everyone who I had ever quarreled with, since the negativity I had felt for them, carried through on every decision I had made.
The way I can describe my new consciousness is this, when a person puts pieces into a puzzle it eventually leads to a clear picture, I believe most people are satisfied enough to look at the whole picture. I was not satisfied, the picture was clear, and I knew how to put the pieces into the picture. The next level of consciousness was this, taking the whole picture and breaking it back down from whole to its simplest form. By knowing all aspects of the picture, I gained true understanding of how the picture worked.
My consciousness is this picture, by breaking down thoughts and ideas to their simplest form, I gained a more complete understanding of why things are the way they are.
So my life was a rut, I dropped out of college and was feeling as though I was truly lost in my life. I began to apply my new thought processes to everything around me, how I handled people, how I analyzed my emotion, how I controlled my own thoughts.
Then a opportunity present itself. I had no real control over getting this opportunity, it more or less fell upon me. I was given a chance to work with Mentally handicap persons, dealing in a wide variety of mental issues, from autism to mental retardation. Most people I talked to told me, 'Well, I don't have the patience to do that or I don't think that I could handle working with 'those' people. ' (mind you I wouldn't have considered this job out of a list of 1000. But, being in the mind set I was, I recognized it as a challenge to my mental ability, a challenge towards my ability to communicate, and my ability to apply understanding of people, and why they are the way they are. So I took the job.
It was a challenge! I didn't know if I could have the longevity to work with this amount of mental distress. However, I pushed myself further than I ever knew I could. I began to walk in these people's shoes, and act as they acted. (mind you my company did on the site training) but to truly be as they are, opened my eyes to their world. It more or less allowed me to think as they do. By thinking like someone, you can gain a bond, which is impenetrable, love. By truly caring, and applying the techniques I had learned, I truly saw change in their thought processes and understanding.
Change. If these 'simple' people have the ability to change their thought and their understanding, and their habits, we are not hopeless as a people, because we all would have that same capability. We can all reach the pinnacle of consciousness, which is unknown, which is the improbable.
The one factor I stated above, which may be the most important part of the puzzle is love. Love is a emotion, but in my understanding of it, it moves beyond feelings. To truly love is to gain the inability to judge (others, and ourselves). If people could truly love one another, there would be no stronger inspiration. That kind of love and inspiration gives strength to those who have exhausted all of their own. That kind of love never forgets the smallest details of life, and that kind of love is the building blocks of a universe. I leave you all with this quote to think about, 'I don't let the negativity of life dull the beauty in my life'. Gabriel Gondeck. 02/14/07
Coming soon, my analysis of love.
Please comment back and give opinion ask questions to, those who seek understanding can be helped by my experience.
"I never let the negativity of life, dull the beauty in my life."