Sounds like she's just been listening to the latest Pink song too much.
Seriously, I feel for you Al, as you and I are in the exact same situation. I think we need to meet down the local to drown our sorrows. Ill meet you there in half an hour.
You do sound like a nice guy and it always seems like the "nice" guy is just not what women really want. I have never understood that. They all say they want a man who is honest, kind, caring, considerate, thoughtful, loving romantic, faithful etc.
But when you give them all those things, they still aren't happy.
And even worse, so many women I know gravitate to men they know will hurt them.
I was told this is to do with their upbringing quite often. Because their father is their first conscious and subconscious experience of love- they come to subconsciously relate that man and his characteristics with love when they grow up. So if they had a bad father, they cant help but look for men like him.
Its amazing how many women get into relationship after relationship with men that treat them like dirt then ask, "Is it me? What am I doing wrong?"
I think its not THEM, but their choice of men
And men will play on that low self esteem to keep them where they want them.
This is something I am having to deal with. Like you, I have been close to someone for the last 3 years.
And I dont want to lose them. But the last two months has been a very hard battle to keep them.
Ive wanted to post about this situation for a long time as Id really like some advice. But its been just too raw and fresh for me to talk about in detail.
But since Al is having the exact same issue I cant help but feel compelled to open up a little and give a few thoughts on it myself.
The person I am close to has had the exact same life as I mentioned. Abusive parents, then a long string of scumbag boyfriends who abused her both physically and psychologically.
And of course this has really skewed her view on men. It has taken me 3 years to make her feel comfortable and not overreact to every little thing I do or say.
And finally when I feel she has begun to accept that not all men are out to hurt her, something happened to set all this patience and positive love back.
I wont go into it, as its personal, but a third party told me some things about her past which really blew me away. They aren't bad things. Its just that I cant believe she wouldn't tell me such important things about herself or trust me enough to know Id still love her for who she was.
Then when I tried to talk to her about it, she freaked and accused me of spying and gossiping and being worse than all her other ex's and trying to hurt her (Which wasn't the case. I didn't even ask to be told.) and has told me she wants to end the relationship.
Its like she has had a relapse and all her past issues have come to haunt her again. And it seems that I am the one copping a lifetime of emotional baggage.
She says that Im the most amazing man in the world and didn't believe a man like me existed till now.
But when Im told about her past, instead of telling me sorry for keeping it secret, she attacks me and wants out of the relationship.
Despite all this, Ive done my best to deal with the hurt she has done to my heart and to understand her. Ive forgiven her and am trying to see things from her point of view. And Im trying to reconcile us.
So even though you say men will never understand women. (I certainly dont.) I would go so far as to say: Men don't understand themselves. Women dont understand themselves. So there is NO way we can expect to understand our sexual opposites until weve first understood oursleves.