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Personal Realization

User Thread
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Zach is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Personal Realization
When I first turned 13 or so I was introduced to the world of Porn, and I was very excited. I was aroused like crazy by it. 2 Years later I met my first real girlfriend, and I only ever saw her twice. We only talked on the phone and we grew to love each other. We were young and happy. After a while things didn't work out and we never saw each other so we moved on. This was my first experience with emotional love and the world of females.

My second serious relationship started immediately afterwards and for the first time I was sexual with a real person. It was by far, more arousing than porn. Meanwhile through out all of this I had been watching porn also. After a while me and her split for various reasons and I continued to look at porn.

Then I finally met the girl I just lost. This time, I felt true love for the first time. I felt what it could be and can only imagine what it could have been in years to come. I loved her like nothing in my life, I loved so hard I cried. I simply was in awe of the intimacy and connection between us. After experiencing an intimacy like this I look at porn now and I am disgusted. Pornography is sex without intimacy and intimacy itself in the depths I felt are 90% of the satisfaction alone. Learn to love and connect with the person you love. Intimacy can go so much deeper than I even know Im sure and after feeling it I will never be the same.

I wrote this in a different forum the other day concerning the use of porn. I know I am usually alone in my opinion on porn, but I cant deny what i felt. It feels dirty to look at it and I hold sex on a much more sacred level than to just do it for the simple physical feeling. Am I wrong to feel like this?

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 40yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I think you've had a very healthy and insightful realization. However, I will warn you that taking things too seriously can also have an adverse affect on relationships and your enjoyment within them. What you have discovered is very important in fostering a healthy relationship, but don't forget to laugh.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
Personal Realization
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