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Pieism - Page 2

User Thread
 38yrs • M •
deathunter is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Visit Pieism's new site is at http://www.jojo-pieism.tk

Join the Pie and his servant the JoJo!

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"Join Me in the worship of the Almighty Pie!"
 50yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Sorceress is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Holy pie!

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""Each child holds the world in an open hand to mould it into any shape they choose.""
 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that spiderz is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
hey godbless you, i dont think these guys believe in this, even if they did, i doubt jesus would have ever communicated with people in those words. Im not going to have a go at you, because i know that you are young and that you didnt realise. maybe you are not as wise as other people, and if you hold strong christian beliefs that is fine but you have to treat people in the best manner. we live in a time where many people have rejected organized religion such as mine and yours, we have to accept that they are entittled to their views, and they have to accept that we have ours.

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"There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity"
 38yrs • M •
Superman 444 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I'm a follower of the Almighty JoJo, the Master of all Pieism! He's the greatest Pieist thats ever lived. If you don't accept the JoJo then you can't be a Pieist!

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"Ur Mum"
 38yrs • M •
deathunter is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
A Short History of Pieism:

This is a history of Pieism, written by the JoJo. It's here so if the Official Site ever falls, far in the future, someone looking at old Pieism may find this and know.

The first Pieism known was the International Church of Pie, founded in late 2002. The rumour is that it was on the 10th December, however that is also the founding day for STALM so it probably isn't true. It was run by Sister Key Lime, however it soon dissappeared (last evidence May 2004).

Not long after came the Holy Church of Pie, founded on the 4th March 2003, on the well known Pieism.tk. Although their site was still popular in late 2007 it hadn't been updated for at least two years by the Pie Messinger (their prophet).

At the end of 2003 (10th December) the Sacred Text a la Mode was founded. Captain Spankin Crackers (their leader) ran Pieism.org until mid 2006, when it closed. The JoJo regained contact in September 2007 by e-mail but only for a short time.

The only really minor type of Pieism was founded on the 5th May 2005 by Fred Fred Burger and was known as the Church of Pie. It soon became inactive and apart from brief contact with the JoJo stayed that way.

Finally on the 10th March 2006 the greatest type of Pieism ever came along: JoJo Pieism. Run by the JoJo, it didn't really take off until early 2007. On the 10th September 2007 it merged with the New STALM (remaining part of STALM) and the Cult of Pie to form the Great Religion of Pieism. At the time of writing it is the only large Pieism left and still expanding.

If you are reading this in the far future and Pieism has fallen or turned unrecogniseable, please refound Pieism and take on the title of the New JoJo. I give you my blessing.

His Holiness The JoJo, Supreme Prophet of the Great Religion of Pieism, Master of JoJo Pieism.

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"Join Me in the worship of the Almighty Pie!"
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Sky1234 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Godblessyou...HOW Dare U iNsULtEd oUr PiE!!!!!? When you die...U ArE GoiNG To bE In thE lAke Of eTernAl cAkE!!! WhERe YoU GoiNG TO bE fOrCEd tO eAt CaKe fOR aLl ETERNALITY!!!!~ MAHAHAHAHAH~~~ A punishment so painful that not ever WORDS to describe it!!!! HAHAHAHA

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"Beware of the dog"
 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yo sky, thats funny, ive been thinking, what gives islam, christianity, the right to walk around with their fables and fairy tales, saying their fact, who's to say the big ol pie isnt the one....

or im abit torn between the flying spagetti monster.

Imagine if in like 2000 years that theres like priests and sheiks for these religions, eh why not, this is probably how it started anyways, some stories gone wrong. okay theologians dont kick me.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 35yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Evol is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha XD
This whole forum is grateness!!!
Mugan, again I agree with you!
Holly crap you're awesome!
and of course 2ndly
Godblessyou, you should shut the fu** up.
I knew some stupid judgamental person was gona reply to this.
You are Christian, correct?
Well then you have no place to judge!
Christan belief and maybe Jewdism says that >only God< can judge.
So you, can just stop with the pointless posts.
This forum has a good point apon religion that i've gone over before.
I think religion is just not right in total.
It could be completely made up and yet so many people can fallow it.
This so obserd to our mortal world people believe like there's no tomorrow.
So =p !

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"I am contradiction"
 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I know its kinda strange....

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
 35yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Evol is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
heh, yeah
For all we know religion can be just another rumor
who's to say?
Who's to put others beliefs down?

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"I am contradiction"
 34yrs • F •
Lion_Heart89 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
wow i like this one..it the best religion for me cause i hate clowns..., lol where do i join.....

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"the more you try the more you learn right and wrong"
 32yrs • M •
Pie Master is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
here's the link to join Pieism


Here's the New Sacred Text a la Mode......

The New Sacred Text A La Mode

At first there was nothing. And then there was Pie. The Pie is Everything . The Pie God created us. Our universe baked for a couple of seconds , then the Pie defeated the evil Anti Pie. The Pie watchs our every move, it doesn't watch us to enforce his morals, it just likes to laugh at us. The Pie God loves all humans because we make him laugh so. The world, the universe and the JoJo was created in the image of the Pie. It has an outer crust and a warm juicy filling in the middle.

Pie has existed since the beginning of time. Actually, it was before that. The Pie God inspired the pies we eat today. People who were divinely inspired by his essence created pies. The Greeks were the first to make pie, but it was the natives of the British Isles who got pie the way it should be. If we do something 'bad' we know it's bad. Killing your fellow humans is bad. The Pie God and the other minor Gods in ' Next Universe' deal with whatever we do in our life. There people will go to Pie heaven or Pie hell. .' No one knows quite what happens there, but it's where the holy Gods reside. When we die, we go there. If we are bad enough, The Gods will decide, and the Tabby Fat may eat us, where we will be gnawed on for two millenniums. Sometimes it is said we will be digested into the core of the earth. But we all agree that we are connected in Piedom. In the end, the JoJo decides our fate.

Every March the 10th is when we pray to the Pie God, the day the religion was knownst to humans. To pray, connect your pinkies, ring fingers, and middle fingers together by their tips, pull your palms away from each other, outstretch your index fingers, and bend your thumbs. Acknowledge the Pie God, and you're done. The Pie God does not mind if you have another religion. You are free to practice it and believe what you want. There is one thing he asks though, and that is to believe in pie. Pieism is all about...believing in pie. One day every one million years, on August 30th , the Battle of the Lobsters takes place. Inadvertently, One million years in the "Next Universe" is six hunderd million years in our time. So every August 30th is The Battle of the Lobsters. This is when the holy lobsters of the Anti Pie and Pie battle, the Pie always wins. On this holiest of days, all pies are to be eaten, because the Pie God cannot form back together without the consumption of pie-based foods. One must wear cool-looking sunglasses on this day in the unlikely event of the sun exploding. Which could happen any day now for reasons only the JoJo knows. In the case of the sun exploding, whoever is wearing sunglasses will not become blind and would be saved by The Pie God. Plus, they look cool. The founding day of Pieism is March 10th. It is The Day of Pie. When saying 'The Day of Pie.' One must repeat the word 'PIE' at least thirteen times after in an echo-like effect. This is to dramatize this day, and make all know that Pie is holy. On this day, and with all other Pieism holidays, everyone must be referred to by their friends as "Fellow Pieist" , which is given to them on the day of initiation. There is a ceremonial pie eaten of choice. Before the feat everyone must say the Pie Hymn. 'Oooooh Pie. Mmmmmm, the JoJo is the Pie, Captain Pie Master is cool.'

On the days before and after every major holiday, pie is to be eaten. Mind you, you may only eat the pie if you celebrate the holiday. The holidays of pie eating are: - The days before and after Christmas - The day before New Years Day and on New Years Day - The days before and after Halloween - The days before and after Thanksgiving - The days of Hanukkah - Any Religious Holiday - The day of April Fools (The Pie God has a sense of Humor) - Your birthday
These are 'Pieism Days' where one rejoices with pie. Everyone must say the Pie Hymn before feasting on a pie of choice. A pie of choice could be any pie. There are many kinds of pies in this Pie-world of ours. Apple Pie, Pecan Pie, Pumpkin Pie, Cherry Pie, Cobbler, Quiche, Pot Pie, Pizza Pie, Crème-filled Doughnuts, Cupcakes, Cake, Crème-filled Danishes, Shepard's Pie, and many more. Everyone is to be referred to by his or her Pie Names on these days. When someone joins the Pie religion, they eat some form of pie, and have a current member initiate them. The current member says 'In Pie We Trust,' and the one joining responds, 'I have my finger stuck in the Pie.' They are then given a Pie Name of their choice. It can be anything. If the new member cannot think of a name, a Pie Priest will give them one, or approve one for them. They are now a fellow Pieist.

Pie Priests are divine Pieists who spread the religion of Pieism. There are two as of The Day of Pie. The JoJo and Captain Pie Master. But there must be a Church for pies. Pies must have a house, they are also to be shared by everyone. And the Priest always try and convert people away from their believed religions and enlighten them about pie. Some may ask why we eat pies when they are Holy. It is because The Pie God wants to share the pie-goodness of pies. He is pleased when pies are eaten. They were created in his image, and pay respect to him. There are Minor Gods in 'The After World.' These are the offspring of The Pie God. However, they are only minor Gods, and are not as powerful as The Pie God or as cool. These are the known Gods:

The Pie

The Tabby Fat
The Lobster
The Genghis Khan

The Cheese
The Pacman
The Sally Squid
The Sumo
The Shark
The Bodyguard

There is also the JoJo who is a semi-god, or atleast will be in the future, he is more a form of Pie. Captain Pie Master is also a very powerful human prophet.

There is one thing all Pieists should love. Clowns. It was Spanky the Clown, a powerful clown entity who once saved the Pie God. from the Missiwoki. He was rewarded and sent to rule Mars for a million eternities. Clowns are sacred. People who dress up as clowns are almost Pie worshipers. They are worshiping Spanky and his coolness.. If a clown tries to bless you, you can reward them by clapping your hands and saying, ' JoJo is Pie.'

While we all disagree on certain things, Pieists all believe in one thing...Pie. We all believe in pie. Pie is good. Pie is great. Anyone who hates pie cannot be a Pieist. If someone hates all pies and means it, they are guaranteed to be eaten by the Tabby Fat when they die.

Isn't that an improvement on the original?

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"New Captain of Pie"
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Sky1234 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
lol~~~ it will be funny if in a few century later there is a "holy war" between pieism and pastafranian(did i spell it right? if not I AM WEARING MY FLAME PROTECTIVE HELM!!~) . lol, both have churches and have uncountable of followers whom swore their life on their religion and do their best to destroy others. won't that be funny as hell??? LOL

it will be even funnier if someone later on really found out that one of the "gods" really exist...XD


Again, any such person who says things like this and causes his brother to stumble, will wish he had never been born. Not only the person who made this up, but all who go along with it, are destined to burn in the scorching fires if the pit, what the more advanced of us would call HELL. I am appauled, ashamd, and disgusted by this thing. It's Odious. If you don't believe in an afterlife, you had better be right, or else you're going to suffer forever without God.

i think you missed a word in your post some time ago, godblessyou. In the end of your post you should definitely consider to add the word "JIHAD!!!". It will get you chicks quick!!~ if you want to spice things up, add the word " DURKA DURKA " somewhere it the middle, it will make your word so sexy, its SIZZLING!!!

try it with me "FSM will rule..........................JIHAD!!!!!!!!!!"
there, doesn't it made a jacked up sentence suddenly turn good?

P.S.S. an advance apology if i offended any reader of my post.

P.S.S.S. ("any reader" does not include godblessyou)

P.S*4 please don't flame me if any of you decided not to take my kindly given apology...

P.S.*5 i think i will put on my anti-combustion suit just in case...

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"Beware of the dog"
[  Edited by Sky1234 at   ]
 59yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that NATuralMan is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Come and worship in the one true way....

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 32yrs • M •
Pie Master is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
I am very sorry for my editing of the Sacred Text a la Mode, I only did it when I was in a rage at it's writer. Look at the first post on this thread to see the real version!

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"New Captain of Pie"
Pieism - Page 2
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