Blonde Jokes

i know a boy named cody and he is blonde

"im the koolest"

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you
wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, sir, you should know five things .....

1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 200 pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weight lifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional
wrestler.
Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that
joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."

A blonde walks in to a barber shop wearing head phones to get a hair cut and the barber says to the blonde "take the head phones off if you want me to cut your hair" and the blonde said "NO i'll die" but the man took'em off anyway and later the blonde died the man wondered why she died and listened to the head phones and heard "breathe in breathe out breathe in breathe out

"I RULE!!!!!"

a blonde & a brunett are each standing on different sides of a river.
the brunett yells across to the blonde," how do you get on the other side?!"
the blonde yells back," wut do you mean?! you are on the other side!"

"Rejection is Human, Insanity is not being able to Deal with it!"

how can you translate a blonde's thoughts into an understandable language?















you go get a dirty blonde

"Rejection is Human, Insanity is not being able to Deal with it!"

This is a really funny one.

There is a american astronaut, a russian astronaut and a blone talking and the russian says"we were the first people to space" the american says "we were the first to the moon" and the blonde says "I will be on the sun first" of course they look at her like "are you stupid" she replies "NO I AM GOING AT NIGHT"

"If everyone knew every thing why would anyone want to live?"

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."

But the blonde insisted saying,

"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

"Jingle ALL the way!"

What do you call a Blonde with no brain?



Normal!!

"If everyone knew every thing why would anyone want to live?"

what do you call a blonde with one brain cell?

Gifted

So what do you call a blonde with two brain cells?

Pregnant

"Jingle ALL the way!"

There were two blondes siting on the beach in washington.
One blonde asked"what do you think is closer the moon or flordia?"
The other blonde says"The moon of course beacause you cant see flordia!!!

Keep posting!!

From: my cousin Torrie

"If everyone knew every thing why would anyone want to live?"

nice blond jokes.
hey bob rulz. where in the world is Flordia?
never heard of it.

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

Never heard of flordia huh?? well it is in america, find texas then go all the way left till you meet the ocean it is next to that??

"If everyone knew every thing why would anyone want to live?"

are you talking about FLORIDA not FLORIDIA

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

oh oh ohoh how many ADD'S does it take to screw in a light bulb?

shiny!!!

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

A brunette, a redhead and blonde went to a fitness spa for some fun and relaxation.

After a stimulating, healthy lunch, all three decided to visit
the ladies room. There they found a strange-looking woman sitting at the door's entrance.

"Welcome to the ladies room," she said. "Be sure to check out our newest feature. A mirror which will reward you if you look into it and make a truthful statement. But, be warned, if you say something false you'll be sucked into the mirror and you'll live in a void of nothingness for all eternity!"

The three women were intrigued so they gave it a shot.

The brunette looked into the mirror and said, "I think I'm the most beautiful of us three girls."

Instantly, the brunette was surrounded by a pile of money.

The redhead stepped up and said, "I think I'm the most talented of us three girls."

Suddenly, the actress found the keys to a brand new Lexus in her hands.

Excited about the possibility of getting somethung too, the blonde looked into the mirror and said, "I think-" and was promptly sucked into the mirror.

"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."