| 
I think it all started when I read the bible when I was 13. The bible should be rated pg-13, do not read if you're 13 or under without parental guidance. This is going to sound stupid - when I got to the part where Jesus said that if your hand offend thee, cut it off, it would be better to cut off your hand and go to heaven without a hand or foot then to go to hell fire whole. Being a 13 year old boy, ofcourse my hand would offend me, and I did want to cut it off. I got out a big knife, but I just couldn't get myself to do it, so I just cried. Stupid - but I was thirteen. Now days, I'm not even sure Jesus said that, just because the bible says so doesn't mean its so. Anyways - my search for salvation began there, it ended when I was 29. After having joined just about every church there was, looking for the one true church and that right way to be saved, I woke up one morning and began to ask some real serious questions. Like, who condemned me? What sin could I commit that would condemn me to eternal hell fire, etc, etc. I decided that I didn't believe anything, but would study everything, and not let anybody teach me. I would say, that day, I was saved. It didn't take me but a week to decide that there was a God, because there is no other way to explaine the earth's natural order which could not have been created by accident, everything else however would be questionable, including what God was. I pretty much don't believe that Jesus is our savior, however, I do believe he is a part of the process. I studied everything and finally landed on the Gnostic teaching and believed they had the answer, then I had that dream, and now. I don't know, it doesn't matter. God will take us as if we were a ball of clay and make us into himself, somehow, someway, and that's what life on earth is all about.
"A fool says I know and a wise man says I wonder."
|