987 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
You know you're a redneck-
When your grandmother weighs more than your refrigerator. When you were so excited to pass 5th grade you cut yourself shaving When you cool off by sitting in an empty dumpster filled with water while eating a banana and drinking wine (no seriously, I heard about this one)
You know you're a redneck who wants to be trendy when you think Prozac cured the great Depression