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Question for all with an open mind!

User Thread
 28yrs • M •
Goredesigns is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Question for all with an open mind!
Hello everyone, I am very new to this site and I wish I joined a long time ago. I have a question that's been on my chest for a while and I really need to get it off my chest. Every one else I've asked seemed to have a biased opinion, so I felt a place like this is more Appropriate for such a question. So here goes. I've been living with my mother all my life, overall we've always sort of had this kind of "[i]whatever" relationship. I don't really ever go to her for advice because in my eyes she's sort of unapproachable. We never have long talks about things and some times I just feel like a tenant In her house who pays rent. Either way, long story short.. Our relationship has gotten to the point where she's almost made me and my gf of 6 years break up because of her ways. My gf will never come back to my house again because of the embarrassment my mom has caused her. But let's get to the point. It's tax season. My mother hasn't worked in years because she is on permanent disability for arthritis. So around tax season 3 years ago she asked me to claim my 2 younger siblings to help get a larger return.. So I did. I was 20 3 years ago. She has always dictated the amount of money I get, and I find myself going into my account and withdrawing thousands of dollars to give to her. And I keep just 1 thousand while she gets like 6.5. This year I turn 23 in a few months. I have goals and I'm more mature and yes I do still live with her for the time. It's refund time again. She wants 6500 and wants to give me 3200. I'm older now and things look different. I look at this as me being taken advantage of and I believe I deserve more. Mind u I am the one who works all year round to make a refund possible, and I just really feel I'm being taken advantage of. I don't know how to approach this situation, because she not an approachable person! Any suggestions????help!

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 65yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that littlejohn is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Hi,
I dont have inspiration or great advice but would ask ... does Mom have a way to support herself if you quit doing it ?

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 65yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that thx1137 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Goredesigns, you are in a pickle. She is, after all, your mother; still, that is no excuse for being parasitic. From what little you have provided, I would think that she is being self-serving. Not that you do not seem to be monetarily motivated as well.

I do not have advice that is sound. Sorry.

That said, There is a time when the child must leave the home.

But, what can I say? I do not know your situation. And, she is not my mother. But, you repeat the point that she is 'unapproachable.' If it were a marriage, that would mean divorce.

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 58yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that Hobbes Choice is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
You said:" Hello everyone, I am very new to this site and I wish I joined a long time ago. I have a question that's been on my chest for a while and I really need to get it off my chest. Every one else I've asked seemed to have a biased opinion, so I felt a place like this is more"
First: having an opinion IS having a bias. You cannot expect people to give their view and not expect them to use their personal bias. Anyone who claims to avoid that and pretends objectivity you ought to suspect.
Now the problem, As you are living in your Mother's house, she gets to make the rules. I'm guessing that the amount she is asking from you is less than you'd have to pay out of you were living independently.
There is much you have left out of your account, such as the age of your siblings, the location of your father, and how important your GF is/was to you and whether of not you could move in with her and leave home.
There is only ONE person that can answer your questions and that is ... wait for it... YOU!
As you are having a problem with this, I would guess that you are not ready to bite the bullet and leave home, but I think that is what you will need to do.
I might be the case that you will never leave home, maybe you will be there till she dies and then you won't have to make up your mind.
That might be a very long time!
If you don't do it in the next couple of years then you will regret it later.

Now read what I said at the top!
There is no unbiased answer to your questions. When you figure that out, you will be ready to make your own choices and go forward with your own ideas.
Jump in before you get to old to change.
That means NOW!

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 40yrs • M •
James George is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
Tell her your taking all the money and using it to move out, if it comes to a fight, get the first punch in and run for it.

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Question for all with an open mind!
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