53yrs • M
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||Uncle Sam's Whorehouse (part 3)
The Orgy of Pigs, Elephants, & Donkeys in Uncle Sam's Whorehouse
by Wolf Larsen
And the man with the herpes sore sings: "Nevermind all that! I've got a problem far more serious than terrorism!"
Bob cries/sings out: "More serious?! More serious?! What could be more serious?! I'm the King of terrorists! I'm Bob! King of the terrorist bunny rabbits of Al-Fruity Loops! What could possibly be bigger than terrorism?!"
Herpes man sings with great drama in his deep baritone: "I've got a great big herpes sore on my lip!"
Everybody on stage sings out with great drama: "He's got a great big herpes sore on his lip!"
The horns all blast out: "He's got herpeees! He's got herpeees!"
That's when Samantha – Queen of the transvestites – sings out: "When you've got a herpes sore on your lip – Herpes! Herpes! – it seems all the telephones of the world are singing their herpes sores just for you! When you've got a herpes sore on your lip it seems like everybody’s face has 50 eyes all galloping at you at once!"
All the transvestites sing out: "When you got a herpes sore on your lip it's like you got 73 testicles all hanging from your lip! When you got a herpes sore on your mouth –"
Bob interrupts everybody by calling out: "BUT I'VE GOT DIARRHEA!!"
There's stunned silence for a moment...
Nobody knows what to do...
Everybody on stage sings out: "ZACKABOODLY! Bob the terrorist has diarrhea!!"
The horns & woodwinds all scream out: "ZACKABOODLY!"
Bob the bunny rabbit terrorist sings out: "When I have diarrhea I miss my mommmmmmy! When I have diarrhea I feel like both David Duke and Louis Farrakhan are giving speeches in my asshole at the same time!"
Everybody on stage sings: "Are the presidential candidates giving speeches in your asshole too?!"
That's when Samantha the Queen transvestite approaches Bob and tenderly touches his hand. As the harp plays the she-he sings tenderly: "I love all the zits on your face! They remind me of aircraft carriers & warplanes bringing peace & bombs to the rest of the world!"
Bob tenderly kisses the Queen transvestite’s hand. Bob sings sweetly along with the flute: "I love you like all the frozen TV dinners of my ancestors! When we are married we’ll kazapity-bop-bop-bop until Ronald Reagan sells drugs to Khomeini by importing arms from Nicaragua! I mean – whoops! When we get married Khomeini will sell Nicaragua to Ronald Reagan for drugs... No, wait! I think it's..."
Samantha the Queen transvestite sings: "Wasn't it Ronald Reagan selling the Nicaraguans Bedtime for Gonzo movies in exchange for Khomeini's buttocks? No... It was Mickey Mouse selling Khomeini's buttocks to Ronald Reagan in exchange for cocaine?"
The man with herpes sores sings: "I thought it was Jimmy Carter's lips being sold to Afghanistan where his lips were attached to the Taliban's ass in exchange for all the cocaine in Iran – I mean Nicaragua!"
Samantha the Queen transvestite sings: "It beats me! You never know what the CIA-Homeland National Security-Agency-of-Blam-Blam-Blam-Blow-Everybody-Up-&-Spy-on-Them is up to anyway!"
That's when suddenly a bunch of giant human-sized frogs begin hopping on stage and singing: "Kiss us and we’ll turn into the buttocks of all the princes that have ever lived! Kiss us and herpes sores will sprout up all over the trees in the magical forest! Kiss us and Richard Nixon will join you in bed tonight!"
The woodwinds all sing: "RichArd NixOn in bEd with yOu tOnight!"
Copyright 2012 by Wolf Larsen