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4YO Boy with Anger Issues

User Thread
 48yrs • M •
pdrmant is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
4YO Boy with Anger Issues
I have a four year-old boy who becomes angry and distraught at the drop of a hat and usually without warning. This commonly occurs when frustration is present. It seems he is embarrassed and enraged at the same time upon being corrected or even when he is offered advice. He will scream intensely, cry, hit and kick for some time. He exhibits this behavior at home to us, preschool with his teachers, and even with his grandparents.

We have tried punishment including time out and/or shelving a favorite toy, but the lesson doesn't stick. We have talked about it multiple times and he says he understands that it is wrong, but when asked why he does it his response is, "I don't know."

He's a great kid 95% of the time, otherwise. Smart, outgoing and articulate. I have noticed that these episodes mostly come when he's tired or hungry. His schedule is pretty solid and I try to keep him from being hungry, but if he doesn't sleep well it seems we are in for an eventual episode.

I'm looking for advice on how to help him realize what's happening when the behavior is about to be triggered, and understand that it's time to talk through the problem instead of being so angry and the problem without being so angry, frustrated and violent.

Thanks for reading,

-Frustrated and hitting the wall.
Keywords: child, anger, frustration

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 37yrs • F •
Hi pdrmant - children usually have very relevant and real reasons behind their behavior, so it's important to explore all the possible reasons, as you are doing.
quote:
I have a four year-old boy who becomes angry and distraught at the drop of a hat and usually without warning. This commonly occurs when frustration is present. It seems he is embarrassed and enraged at the same time upon being corrected or even when he is offered advice.

You initially state that his anger occurs 'at the drop of a hat' and 'without warning', but you also say that a precursor is if he is frustrated about something or when he is criticized/offered advice - are both true, like sometimes there's no evident reason for his anger whilst at other times there was clearly some issue/event preceding his anger? Has his preschool teachers provided any information about what occurs before he becomes angry?

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
 31yrs • M •
deadcat is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
"-Frustrated and hitting the wall."

Are you frustrated and hitting the wall? Or is it your child? Because if its you, well... thats where the child is learning his anger issues...

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 37yrs • F •
@ deadcat what you're suggesting about his child learning from him is possible, but it's also a normal human emotion to feel frustrated if you've been trying to remedy a problem without any success. I think until we know more about the situation we cannot accurately determine what is causing the child to become so angry.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
4YO Boy with Anger Issues
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