In a way I was going for that. Success being the key to over-coming my insecurities due to not wanting to be steered from the path I have set as my goal.
Things like the fear you describe, those have to addressed in order to succeed at your goal, which you clearly are trying to do otherwise you would not posted everything that you have.
I know that it won't be easy, but some days ago I felt a small change in how I felt, it's weird. I was simply walking normally to station to take my train home and even so I felt as if I'm being judged, looked at, rated etc., I felt as if that doesn't bother me as much. It still bothers me a lot, but it was a small, super small change in how I felt. I will pay attention to it next time, just to see if it wasn't just something random.
Perhaps you should try accepting the idea that yes, people may judge you. And once you accept that they might or are judging you, evaluate what that means about the person who is judging you. Ask yourself, should they be judging you? What are their judgement? Are their judgements correct? If they are judging you and it's incorrect judgements, what does that tell you about who that person is? If they are judging you and they are correct in their judgements, then shouldn't they offer you constructive criticism so that you can help yourself improve?
I will try this, thank you and expand on it afterwards.
In a way I love that dreamy state, makes me so carefree but I'm aware it's not a solution, it's rather than a way to run away from my problems for a bit. But still might happen, give my sleep problems.
P.s Quote tag sure makes things more organized. haha
And to person who asked me to share a story, I apologize. I'm sharing a room and have barely any time on my hands, so can't really do it now, but will do my best to actually do it, for myself and my confidence though!