54yrs • M •
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||Narcissism & Schizophrenia
Narcissism and schizophrenia are psychological byproducts of modern western lifestyles.
Being kept in a cocooned environment, where all error in judgment is excused and even promoted, the mind begins feeling invulnerable, and reality irrelevant, because it has very little implication in everyday existence.
The environment is dominated by man made artifices and reality is excluded or selectively allowed entry.
This is when the mind becomes self-absorbed, overconfident, fearless, convinced that its world is the only world or, at least, as probable a world as any other; it begins gaining an untested sense of self-esteem and a false sense of empowerment, eventually resulting in total disconnection from reality.
The mind has now been encased in its own conceptions, placed in a box, and given that it is sheltered against anything that might correct its delusions, it becomes lost in itself: arrogant and demanding...increasingly self-absorbed and self-referential.
The individual begins living in its own world, or one given to him, and since it is a pleasant world, full of of positive to it messages and flattering contexts, it abandons itself to the hedonism.
It will defend the other's right to exist in his/her own little world, if it does not disturb his/her own.
The mind is now conveniently convinced that reality is a matter of personal taste or a human construct that can be altered with mere thoughts or with further detachments.
It is able to do so because there is a system in place, a system that benefits from its complacent detachment, which prot4cts it from its own stupidity and delusion.
A system which is not entirely successful and one which often cannot shelter the individual from reality completely, as it is itself a human construct.
So the individual is often corrected or offered a dose of reality it did not expect.
This correction may have traumatic effects, as the mind is often shocked by a reality that cares not for its self-referencing beliefs or what it thinks it deserves, and the individual is unaccustomed to anything outside its little mental box.
No amount of sheltering can fully protect the individual from a world that is indifferent to its hopes and assessments.
The first response to this sudden contact with a world it had no idea existed, contained as the individual was within institutional walls and social artifices, is that of fear.
Fear that then leads to a desire to destroy - nihilism - the source of its discomfort or to change it - idealism.
The mind dives deeper into itself or into the context it has been given to escape the jolt.
At no point does this mind considered reevaluating its positions, in other words changing itself in relation to the world.
It is the world that must be changed to accommodate its already established hopes and interests and beliefs. This sets up a relationship of animosity between the individual and the world outside its social and cultural paradigm, in other words a world outside its fantasies or what constructs it was given.
Now the mind finds no relation with reality; it feels alienated, disinterested, frightened and confused, when faced with anything outside its own conceptions, or the shared ones.
At this time and if these conceptions are replaced by some foreign influence, some alternative political/philosophical/spiritual scenarios, then it may find identification with an ideal outside its willful control.
It now surrenders to whatever new human artifice is offered as an alternative, promising to change the world, including the social and cultural milieu it has become disenfranchised with because it has failed to protect it from a reality outside its premises.
From the starting point of narcissism the mind may then project itself outward and it may fall in love with a greater Self, breaking the separation of self from other, as it has been established though a continuum of experiences held together in memory.
It seeks escape in communion with otherness, and the unburdening of its fears and risks and costs, by submitting to a shared construct. It sacrifices independence for the sake of comfort and comforting.
It saves itself from the worse consequences of self-realization and rushes to find cover in ideas and ideals and identifications and definitions that offer it a renewed pride, via its association with a new, hypothetically more powerful, entity.
But it is still not content, because it now has alienated itself from its own self.
It is fragmented and confused.
His self-consciousness and the identification which now has been redirected leads him to a sense of detachment form his own actions.
He feels like two people occupying the same form. The mind/body dichotomy might serve to alleviate the distress but if the detachment persists the mind will shatter: being convinced that a voice is speaking to it, whether it be the voice of God, the manifestation of this greater Self, or the Devil or him spirit or ghosts or aliens or whatever.
His internal dialogue become one of otherness towards self, as the undesirable elements are projected as separate from itself and take on a reality of their own.
The greater Self that has seduced him, is now at odds with his subdued self, usually associated with his nature or instincts or essence - essence being the character produced by sum of his past, akin to nature.
He is no longer himself; absolved of all responsibilities, except in service and in loyalty to his new Self - which can take on the form of a nation, an institution, a god or any abstraction - and he is also saved from any accountability in reference to his actions before he "discovered" or was "awakened" or was "reborn" into the new identity.
If he gives in to his smaller self, the parts he sacrificed to be included within the greater self, he must make amends....feel guilty and shamed, offer token of his renewed vows of loyalty to the abstraction that absorbed him and tolerates his momentary lapses.
He is, in fact, free from his past and all that this has determined about him.
Nature, being the sum of all previous nurturing, is now discarded, like unwanted luggage, and the mind soars within the possibilities of its new persona within this new Self.
The sensation is exhilarating, freeing but it sets the mind up for a fall.
It is fragmented.