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University life not going as I would like it to go...

User Thread
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that her is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
University life not going as I would like it to go...
Ive just started my first year of university and sometimes I want to crawl into a hole and just cry. Ive wanted to go university for nearly three years now but cancer got in the way so it was delayed and now Im finally here Im scared. I feel like Im socially awkward, like there are so many groups of girls walking around and I am not included and cant get in now. I just feel alone. I think its because I work 25 hours a week, I dont have any choice as I cant get finance the way most students do. Im happy to work, and do my uni work, and to put the extra hours in, but I feel like because if all the time I work I cant seem to make friends. I know Im 22 and not a baby but I just need company. I didn't think I would find it so hard or that it would bother me but it does. Has anybody else had the same experiences not just at uni. My boyfriend is also part of the problem, he doesnt work and is reckless with his money and with mine. I just get pissed because hes out with mates and yeah he doesnt go on mad nights and spend money but while Im working hes relaxing making friends, and expects me to spend my money on him and Im just so fucking bitter about it, and jealous and I feel sick. Sorry for the rant but cant post this on facebook, Im loving my lectures and the academic side of things but the social side, no so good Thanks x.

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"I have nothing to be proud of today but hopefully tomorrow I will."
[  Edited by Dawn at   ]
 38yrs • F •
I don't know if I would call this a regret, because I didn't have a very good support system from my family, but for pretty much the whole duration of my time at uni I had a boyfriend - and he really held me back socially. He preoccupied way too much of my resources that I could have otherwise devoted to having a fuller uni experience. He really was a hindrance (hence I am no longer with him). Now I'm not saying that having a bf whilst being at uni is a bad idea or a hindrance - what I am saying is having a bf who is selfish (and mine was) was a huge set back and it prevented me from experiencing the parties, friends, and joviality of uni that I would have liked to experience.

To add more evidence to the mixture, in my third year at uni I broke up with the bf for a bit and during that time I found I was naturally much more social with people - I must have had less stress and baggage that allowed me to naturally pursue my interests more.

I hope things work out for you. It is hard being emotionally all alone in a new environment, especially when money is an issue.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
 36yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that DannyDuberstein is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
You're unhappy, and people can sense that. We have instincts. They're preserving their own happiness by not being involved with you most likely. You do not need a quick, indifferent series of responses from strangers on a forum.

You should make an appointment to speak with a counselor through your school. This is my opinion. I did, and it helped me tremendously. They will engage you and devote themselves to helping you to help yourself find a better quality of life.

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"Just a fleck in the immeasurable circumference?"
 36yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that DannyDuberstein is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
And heck, it's a service free to you as a student. You have nothing to lose, only something to gain. A BIG something to gain. Go for it

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"Just a fleck in the immeasurable circumference?"
 38yrs • F •
Some people may be quick and indifferent in their responses, but not all - which is why I suppose one would choose to state their problem on a forum, because maybe some stranger out there may empathize with you when you feel there is no-one in your immediate environment who will.

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"Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
 36yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that DannyDuberstein is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
It only goes so far, Dawn. There is no substitute for in-the-moment empathy. None whatsoever. We can agree to disagree on this point.

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"Just a fleck in the immeasurable circumference?"
University life not going as I would like it to go...
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