Open Relationships and Swinging

In the tradition of facing fears. This is an area that I personally struggle with.

It is one of those subjects that intellectually, and even spiritually, I feel is perfectly fine and even the healthier way to live.

But emotionally I can do little more than cringe in fear. I understand many of the reasons why, any fears based on societal standards, fears of judgement, of inferiority etc.

But I'm curious as to what you guys think. I know you all think about having sex with other people even when you are in a relationship. But how much have you pondered the question of which way is truly the healthier and more correct general path.

Yes, any choice is right, but not all of the reasons or potential consequences can be said to be the same.

It seems I meet more and more people doing this. And I can't get over my inner conflict on the issue.

My understanding is on a biological level human brains are conditioned to imprint on the people we have sex with just as chicks do on their mothers. For example the chemical Oxytocin that is associated with nursing and the let down reflex is also associated with life mating in many animals and can induce erections if injected into rats. It's a bit complex but there really aren't many species that have multiple simultaneous life mates to which they are mostly monogamous. I guess when you take the gene out of the bottle by having 2 lovers, by their mutual consent, it's quite hard to restrain your self when the potential 3rd comes along and you're in the mood. I think exclusivity is probably the price we pay for emotional attachment and contrary to what people may say while monogamy may be hard attempting to have sex with out any feelings of attachment is probably harder.

Is sex witthout feelings the point though? The point to me is feelings in regared to all actions.

I think you can love, and even fall in love with all humanity.

I don't think there are soul mates. We are all the same soul to me, ultimately.

We are all carved from the same stone.

The biggest obstacles I've witnessed are judging ourselves and one another as less than worthy of true love and forgiveness for any mistakes.

Thinking less of others in comparison to ourselves, and less of ourselves in comparison to others.

But that's just me.