So instead of viewing the relationship as a beneficial learning experience, you wish to return to the person you "used to be" before entering it?
I did not state that I did not learn or even that I returned to who I was, I said I used it as a "reference point" for reestablishing my identity to me (not to anyone else) and how that allowed to me to establish total independence from someone/anyone quickly thus allowing me to progress again.
You construed my thoughts and at the sight of the word fear assumed I had a problem, I do not. I truly believe in a couple of things that will never leave me, the concern I express is properly labeling these things so when I am at a point of emotional distress I can find them and see what shape they have taken allowing me to get on with my life in a constructive manner(in reference to ideal productivity at the time).
"Whether we wake or we sleep, Whether we carol or weep, The Sun with his Planets in chime, Marketh the going of Time. -Edward Fitzgerald"