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An experience of the paranormal?

User Thread
 31yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that vigil is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
An experience of the paranormal?
I was going to post this on the "What probably is = what is fallacy" thread, but I didn't want to take too much away from the focus of the topic because I feel as though I am going off on a more personal tangent here.

I am trying to figure out my thoughts about an experience, despite it happening a few years ago, I have avoided thinking the subject through thoroughly because ....well I simply felt unable to.

I find it so hard to get my brain to deduct things in a logical manner. My thoughts seem to fire off in bursts of feelings, thoughts and ideas and I seem to have difficulty taking them and putting them into a linear and logical sequence to reach a conclusion. It's like it just latches onto an emotional thought and I find it difficult to think past that, if that makes sense to anyone? This is the state of mind where I feel the weakest and get easily confused..

This happened around 3 years ago, right on the day of my 18th birthday.

I was sleeping at the point of time in which I feel like I may have had a connection with a supernatural entity. I was having a bad dream, it was about losing my parents, and the pain and regret that I felt at having them die without repairing any rifts we had between us. All of the dreams that I remember are always emotionally negative dreams, I'd had many bad dreams up until this point, so it was nothing unusual.

The point where I feel like I was having an abnormal experience while within my dream is that I felt a presence inside of my mind near the end of it. They existed as thoughts and feelings that I did not feel came from myself. My dream had stopped and I was now seeing a kind of faint aura-ish glow in my minds eye.

I know it obviously sounds weird stating that I had a presence inside of my mind, but it is so hard to describe. It was like someones mind had tapped into my own, and their mind had a body/presence and they were communicating their thoughts directly into mine. It felt abnormal but at the same time, safe and comforting. I was still sleeping but I remember being aware and receiving those feelings and thoughts as coming in separately from my own. I experienced a very quick confusion followed by understanding that there was someone/something else. There was no voice but I definitely felt like I was being spoken to.

It was essentially saying that everything was okay and I felt such a strong sense of peace and love and acceptance radiating through my mind that I had never felt before. I remember expressing a feeling back to it that was along the lines of "I do not understand why you have come to me" and it seemed to relate back to me that "I love all regardless. It doesn't matter that you doubt, I will always love you and accept you and I want to tell you that it is all going to be okay and that there is still time for you to make things right"

I mean it didn't "say" that with a voice, but those are the thoughts/feelings that I felt it put across to me.

I then opened my eyes and was fully awake. I felt peaceful but at the same time, so thankful. I literally cried for hours straight after waking up, possibly for something like 4-5 hours straight because I felt overwhelmed with all of these feelings of relief and happiness and love and sadness. It was so strange and yet amazing. I was so sure after it had happened that I experienced some kind of paranormal entity.

I went through a phase where I talked to some Christians, trying to understand why I felt their idea of a greater entity so conflicted with mine. I definitely felt as though what I had experienced and what they were telling me of a greater entity, were two different things, though of course my perception felt true.

I have ended up feeling confused and very alone in this experience. Doubts entered my mind as time has gone by - was it just my imagination? Was it connected with my emotional turbulence at the time? I was always so sad and numbed and afraid when I was younger, so did I trick myself into imagining that there was a greater entity reaching out to me because it made me feel better and safer about things that felt out of my control?

These are the questions that I am not sure how to decipher. My gut seems to tell me that what I experienced was abnormal, but my brain knows what kind of person I was back then and how much I was wanting help and something to hold on to, so I do question whether or not I am deceiving myself.

I hope this makes sense. I cannot seem to talk myself through this uncertainty thoroughly enough or efficiently by myself, so I do feel like I want to have someone help me think it through and would appreciate it. I feel like I go in circles by myself.

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 38yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Chained Wings is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I don't think I am the best person to help you go through it logically.

But I can share my experiences to let you know you're not mad or alone in your feelings.

Ive often had very vivid dreams that affect me for hours after I wake.

If I dream about somebody and feel positive towards them, then I wake up and feel very positive about them. And same if i felt negative in the dream about them.

I once had a dream of some other "presence" in my dream when I was flying. It had grabbed me and it didn't talk either. All the same, I could feel what it was about. It felt so strong and so malicious.

But then another stronger presence stopped it. Something ABOVE that entity.

This was such a strong dream... I can remember it even though it was about 20 years ago.

So yes, I know how powerful a dream can feel and I know of feeling other entities in our dreams. Im sure if you looked it up you'd find a rational explanation. Though keep in mind we hardly understand dreams or why we even have the need for them.

But yes... it sometimes does feel as though its more than just our lone baby minds in the spaces we inhabit when we let our spirits soar.

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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
An experience of the paranormal?
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