You have some control over some of the conditions in which happiness is likely to occur, but setting the conditions you have control over doesn't guarantee happiness, but just increases the probability.
it's never a definite answer, as we all know.
i wasn't looking for an answer, i was looking for arguments on which is a less stressful way to accept things we consider.
now i do not claim we have a choice in terms of chosing if we see things as in ultimately good, or if we see things ultimately bad.
good and bad are relative in the end. To where we're standing.
anyway, this whole subject was out of boredom, it should have been best if we turned to discussing the different views of optimism instead of which leads to happiness.
as in comparison in how we see certain things in life.
In the end the only way we can see the good in certain things, is to see it from a different point of view.
It is something we can achieve through conversation, or simple experience. And time is of the essense, we can not claim knowledge of the answer before our mind speaks it to our subconscious. In terms of what is good, what is bad (for us of course).
now we all know the answer, it is innate in all of us.
the intuiging part is how a person can switch to pessimism, There are a lot of reasons or occurences that led to such consequences in a person's life.
if we understand those occurences, and see them in a different point of view, we might be able to switch back to seeing life as "good", or leading to something good in the end.
But my personal observation of the human creature, is that how we see things is based on how we feel at the moment.
if we are in pain, we find it more difficult to see the good in certain things that from the first glance seem bad.
If we are not and haven't been in a while, we can find more point of views (as in being a bit objective), of course if we did not hold on to certain previous (memorised without especially knowing we memorised them) decisions on certain things.
If we are in a euphoric state, we find it difficult to see the bad in anything, even if it's starring us in the face.
So as with most ultimate questions, the answer is usually the simplest one (or moderation as usual).
I guess it all falls back to choice, and are we capable of making "choice" in terms of how we see things.
I do believe we have a choice in terms to ignore certain things. We do not have a choice in how we interpret them.
Basically it's about tolerence of pain, and only that.
Now i believe patience is a cure to all life's miseries, it is NOT easy in any way, especially if our lives lead us onto destructive paths.
But it is possible in time and experience, it is important that if i see something that i fear to embrace, to be able to overcome that "fear" or "pain". As i might have said in a different post. Experience and only experience leads to wisdom (as in knowing what is the best route to take, for our own person of course).
Now we fear a lot of things we do not understand, and that fear stops us from knowing what it is that we fear. So then that certain thing we faced might come facing us eventually.
And on second occurence it's even worse, because we chose to ignore the experience simply because we "feared" it.
Now we all experience different things, we never see things objectively because of those emotions we have on a daily basis.
I do believe it requires courage to be able to tolerate something that terrifies us, and courage is a way to embrace such feelings that might be too strong for us to handle.
But as i observed, emotion only destroys you if you are "scared" of it.
I believe the key is courage, not as it might be understood as having no fear. But as embracing something because we fear it.
i am not talking of fighting something or so.
But we can only move on if we fight, the thing social living taught us as "wrong", is the one key to our happiness.
We all fear a lot of things, we can not enjoy anything in life. if we do not embrace the bad before the good.
I do believe in the need of fight. I do not believe in the need of utter violence as the answer.
But in the end, we must chose to fight or at least come face to face with our fears. If we would ever wish to conquer them.
If we see the worst of life and embrace it, it is easy to see the good in things, if we don't keep our distance from everything that we "feel" (as painful of course).
Now the thing we might want to consider that emotion is strongest when it's something i haven't faced before, not in terms of if i've seen it before. But in terms if i've embraced the feeling before.
i believe the only choice we ever can make is the lack of choice.
We can either sit still and avoid the thing that pains us, or we can allow it and hold on to our sanity untill it passes.
happiness is only the silence after the storm. Hence why love makes us happy.
Now from my personal observation, that was the only thing i could have done to survive my life. Again it killed me more than a few times.
Now, it's hard for us to hold on to something that's torturing us without us losing our sanity.
one trick i got used to doing without consideration, is that if i am in pain i chose to feel it in all it's true nature, as in surrendering to the torture of it, to be able to "learn" from it, or at least not feel it again. (using art to express it after it's gone, i thought of it as "experience", not as "wrong"
if anyone follows through what i'm saying, please discuss what i said, not the initial subject.
anyway, i ain't writing this as a response. I simply like the sound of my own voice