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First poem attempt

User Thread
 35yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that mutnuaq is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
First poem attempt
Spiraling down this clockwork of Life

Learning the ins and outs of the chimpanzee symphony

The gilded mirrors revolve around their individual perception of man made idols

I became afflicted with the disease of societal association

Looking in is as futile as looking out

for when you look at the gilded mirror it is only your mirror that you see.



Anyone understand it at all?

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"334jui8"
 44yrs • M •
masonmorales12 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
There is a great website that has an innovative and creative way to touch hearts. They help you to express yourself in the most meaningful way that will impress anyone. Please get in touch with: http://www.PlakYourPoem.com and experience the essence of inspiring gifts.

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 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Newemb is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
My first one. I got the idea to make it from Decius and when my girlfriend dumped me. So here it is.

Alone and lost is how I feel
Beneath the smile of my soul
Am just an empty peace of stone
Lost inside and all alone

Those nights and days
They look the same
All gone so far and far away
From were we used to stay

For what you did
I'll do the same
And regret are every single day
Cuz now I know, am not ok

This misery and pain
Left me in vain
But I don' t care
Cuz now I know, I feel OK!

You let me down
But I got up
And smiled back to were we were
Cuz I don't care, I feel OK!

And so you can
So far away
But now I stand
Although alone

But I don't care
Cuz now I know
That am not all alone
I feel OK!


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"You either die a hero, or live to see yourself become the villain..."
 35yrs • M
A CTL of 1 means that mutnuaq is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
anyone get it or want to interpret it?

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"334jui8"
 33yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that vigil is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Sure mutnuaq, I'll give you a line by line interpretation of how I read this.

quote:
Spiraling down this clockwork of Life -


As we age and move through a routine, planned out life.

quote:
Learning the ins and outs of the chimpanzee symphony


Chimpanzee Symphony = learning the ins and outs of human nature & living in a human world. I'm guessing that this is your way of bringing humans down to a rather primitive state anyways, which would seem an obvious interpretation to make, but you never know. It puts forth the view that we, as a collective, are animals who act on base instincts with little reasoning.

quote:
The gilded mirrors revolve around their individual perception of man made idols


Gilded mirrors = possibly forms of media / television? You use the word gilded to project the idea that we see them as important, since gold is of high value. You use a pronoun "their" in relation to what would seem to be inanimate objects, so you're injecting these gilded mirrors with life and giving them "individual perceptions", which means they are no longer inanimate but somehow self motivated and "alive". These are the things that lead me to think you're using them as a symbol for something like the media (all forms) and television shows that revolve around & idolize all kinds of manufactured "idols".


quote:
I became afflicted with the disease of societal association


societal association as in a connection/relation to socitey and it's customs and ideas?

You put a negative spin on the association by relating it as a disease, so it would be logical to me, to interpret that Narrator sees this particular societies beliefs as harmful and destructive, something needed to be cured of. Narrator has become afflicted by them, meaning that he has perscribed to these harmful and destructive beliefs/ideas, or at least has been bombarded with and cannot escape them. "man made idols" has been the only idea related, so this becomes a main focus of the disease that N recognizes.

quote:
Looking in is as futile as looking out


introspection and extrospection.

quote:
for when you look at the gilded mirror it is only your mirror that you see.


Since I've established for myself that gilded mirror = media / television, to me this sentence means that looking into the media portrayal of what humans should be, you only see what they think you should be. The gilded mirror becomes your mirror = their perception becomes your perception. To me, this is the most sensical way to interpret this line in relation to what has come before it.

So considering all of that, I'd conclude that this poem is about conforming to false ideals/notions, and losing sight of the "true self".

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 33yrs • F
A CTL of 1 means that vigil is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Did I read too much into your poem, mutnuaq? Is this interpretation along the lines of what you were trying to convey, or way off?

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 42yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Beuphemia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I took a poetry class once. The quarter century old prof would tell us to kill our babies by removing pronounce and rhetoric and what not. We would turn a page long thing in and it would come back like two lines. It was fun so I'm going to do that to yours now. Cuz I miss killing babies.

quote:
Clockwork's life downspirals
learning chimp symphonies in and out

idols wielded gilded mirrors
you reflect me--diseased


that's what I got from it. play with the sound your words are making while expressing the rhetoric. poetry needs to be felt more than understood. treat it like art that can leave a taste in your mouth more than the comprehension of your idea. Let words speak for themselves so that the reader is free to derive a response from their own psyche or else you are just writing to yourself.

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First poem attempt
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