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First poem attempt

USER

THREAD

109 Posts / 16M

23yrs

mutnuaq

First poem attempt [+ favourites]

Spiraling down this clockwork of Life

Learning the ins and outs of the chimpanzee symphony

The gilded mirrors revolve around their individual perception of man made idols

I became afflicted with the disease of societal association

Looking in is as futile as looking out

for when you look at the gilded mirror it is only your mirror that you see.

Anyone understand it at all?

"334jui8"

1 Posts / 10M

33yrs

masonmorales12

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23 Posts / 10M

17yrs

Newemb

My first one. I got the idea to make it from Decius and when my girlfriend dumped me. So here it is.

Alone and lost is how I feel
Beneath the smile of my soul
Am just an empty peace of stone
Lost inside and all alone

Those nights and days
They look the same
All gone so far and far away
From were we used to stay

For what you did
I'll do the same
And regret are every single day
Cuz now I know, am not ok

This misery and pain
Left me in vain
But I don' t care
Cuz now I know, I feel OK!

You let me down
But I got up
And smiled back to were we were
Cuz I don't care, I feel OK!

And so you can
So far away
But now I stand
Although alone

But I don't care
Cuz now I know
That am not all alone
I feel OK!

"You either die a hero, or live to see yourself become the villain..."

109 Posts / 16M

23yrs

mutnuaq

anyone get it or want to interpret it?

"334jui8"

AUTHOR

375 Posts / 50M

21yrs

vigil

Sure mutnuaq, I'll give you a line by line interpretation of how I read this.

quote:
Spiraling down this clockwork of Life -

As we age and move through a routine, planned out life.

quote:
Learning the ins and outs of the chimpanzee symphony

Chimpanzee Symphony = learning the ins and outs of human nature & living in a human world. I'm guessing that this is your way of bringing humans down to a rather primitive state anyways, which would seem an obvious interpretation to make, but you never know. It puts forth the view that we, as a collective, are animals who act on base instincts with little reasoning.

quote:
The gilded mirrors revolve around their individual perception of man made idols

Gilded mirrors = possibly forms of media / television? You use the word gilded to project the idea that we see them as important, since gold is of high value. You use a pronoun "their" in relation to what would seem to be inanimate objects, so you're injecting these gilded mirrors with life and giving them "individual perceptions", which means they are no longer inanimate but somehow self motivated and "alive". These are the things that lead me to think you're using them as a symbol for something like the media (all forms) and television shows that revolve around & idolize all kinds of manufactured "idols".

quote:
I became afflicted with the disease of societal association

societal association as in a connection/relation to socitey and it's customs and ideas?

You put a negative spin on the association by relating it as a disease, so it would be logical to me, to interpret that Narrator sees this particular societies beliefs as harmful and destructive, something needed to be cured of. Narrator has become afflicted by them, meaning that he has perscribed to these harmful and destructive beliefs/ideas, or at least has been bombarded with and cannot escape them. "man made idols" has been the only idea related, so this becomes a main focus of the disease that N recognizes.

quote:
Looking in is as futile as looking out

introspection and extrospection.

quote:
for when you look at the gilded mirror it is only your mirror that you see.

Since I've established for myself that gilded mirror = media / television, to me this sentence means that looking into the media portrayal of what humans should be, you only see what they think you should be. The gilded mirror becomes your mirror = their perception becomes your perception. To me, this is the most sensical way to interpret this line in relation to what has come before it.

So considering all of that, I'd conclude that this poem is about conforming to false ideals/notions, and losing sight of the "true self".

AUTHOR

375 Posts / 50M

21yrs

vigil

Did I read too much into your poem, mutnuaq? Is this interpretation along the lines of what you were trying to convey, or way off?

First poem attempt


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