Mr ASG, this is the last public post to you before I reply to your PM you sent me. But I want this to be on public record about where I was coming from when I said what I said.
First off, it wasn't an attack at you personally. It was about the way the thread had deteriorated since the original post.
The OP was asking for some understanding about why ppl molest children. She wanted to try and understand it, since someone close to her was going thru the negative effects of it.
Decius gave some insight into "why" someone may feel the need to do what they do. And also some advice for what the person who has gone through it could do to deal with it. I'm sure this is the type of thing that the op was looking for.
But then the discussion turned into whether its OK to be having sex with children or whether it is EVEN A BAD THING. Given the final part of the OPs post
Why? What makes a person sick enough to do something like this?
I'm almost certain they were not wanting to log in each day and hear ppl try and defend pedophilia.
But what made me say what I said came down to what someone posted which has now been deleted. Not only had the discussion gotten so far away from what Attolia was originally asking and trying to understand so she could find some peace... but ppl were now making sick jokes about it.
What I try to use when I come here is EMPATHY. I may not always be right. I cannot read a persons mind. But I try my best to put myself in the persons shoes who I'm replying to. And I'm almost certain- that if I had just had a close friend come to me having some kind of psychosis or flashbacks from being molested, and I was wanting to find some sort of understanding and peace- the LAST THING I would like to hear was "If they're old enough to bleed, they're old enough to breed."
Given the fact that the OP hasn't bothered to come back and post in this thread again leaves me to assume I am probably right.
As for you being molested when you were younger ASG. Perhaps it WOULD (notice the word. not "should." or "have to." WOULD) have been better for you to be open and share some of your experiences with the OP so she could understand the emotional side of it better.
Instead of talk about freedom of speech and democracy, which really doesn't help shed any light on the subject of pedophilia.
This is not a rhetorical question. I'm actually interested to know this so I can understand where you're coming from better. Do you honestly believe what you wrote had anything to do with the op trying to understand why a man would want to have sex with a child?
You see, the problem I think you're having with what Ive said in recent posts is that you think I'm telling you that you HAVE to think, say, act a certain way.
But just like you're free to say anything you like on these forums, I am also free to say what I think too.
And so far all I have done is tried to guide a couple of threads back on topic.
Thats all I'm asking. That we try and use some empathy and to look at what ppl are saying or asking when they begin posts, and to try and stay on topic.
If people had empathy they may have noticed something quite rare.
Wyote has stopped posting.
To me Wyote is like the Captain Cynic Frog. Hes always chirping away on this site. It means we have a healthy Eco system. But when his chirping stops, then you know somethings not right.
I doubt many people noticed that and I doubt many people care. But its things like that that tell me allot of ppl arent as happy with this site as they used to be.
And maybe, like myslef, they come to CC because it lets them open up and be who they truly are on the inside. They don't have to put walls up for fear of how ppl will judge them. They don't have to have a facade to keep people from picking on them. They can be raw and they can bleed and others can relate to them.
You cant do that on other sites on the internet. Its full of hate and trolls and put downs and virtual bullies and insecure frightened little ppl, all trying to make themselves feel good about themselves by standing on each others ideas.
You cant show weakness. You cant be candid. You cant talk about deep and meaningful things. Or share off the wall ideas, purely for fear of being ridiculed.
And if CC ever becomes like that, then I'm leaving.
I'm not trying to police the site, the Admins do a good job at that. I'm just trying to share an ideal I have; where a girl can come to a site and open up about a friend being sexually molested, and have mature adults give her some advice on how to cope with and how to understand it.
I wish others shared my ideal, and maybe some do. But if the community as whole thinks Im wrong then i will accept that.