It's not your job to like me - it's mine. - Byron Katie
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how much is too much to take?

User Thread
 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that pumpkinlove is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
how much is too much to take?
i've been dating my fiance for a year and a half. over the last few months all we do is fight because he is so stubborn. He calls me names and degrades me all the time. I want to leave him so bad but I dont have anywhere else to live.does anyone have any advice on how to either get away from an abusive man when you have no other options, or how to get over distrusting him and his bad habits?

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""if you can\'t handle me at my worst, then you don\'t deserve me at my best.\""
 33yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Jacker_Jones is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
You want to leave your lover
In order to leave your lover you need options
To get options you must have money
To get money you need a job

I would try and figure out if you can get alimony or something like that. I would also get a job so you can have some money to leave him. If you already have a job what are you waiting for? Maybe you really do not want to leave him.

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"I love to see people struggling for their purpose in life..."
 38yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Fairy Boy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
If he is abusive i bet he doesnt want or let her get a job so that he has more control over her, move to some family or friends and yes look for a job

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""Veritatem quaere et insaniam inveni""
 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that pumpkinlove is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
i do have a job but i am also going to school for 3 or 4 more years which means ill be low on money until then. i work when i can and yes i want more than anything to get away

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""if you can\'t handle me at my worst, then you don\'t deserve me at my best.\""
 31yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that littlelady89 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
u don't have anywhere else to go? i think there are places provided by the state for women in your situation to stay. but that's in vermont so i don't know about where u live.

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"free country my ass."
 65yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that willowwater is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
There's always somewhere for women to go when they're leaving abusive relationships. You haven't mentioned any family/friends. Maybe you've alienated everybody who cares about you? If this is the case, you'll be surprised that they'll still be there for you, and probably be glad to see that you've seen sense. Take it from someone who's been there, you should never stay in a relationship which takes away confidence and makes you feel low, even if it means you have to struggle financially for a bit. Having your own freedom is far better than a little financial security. Have you thought about leaving, and are now trying to talk yourself out of it maybe? If you want to leave, leave. You will find the sloutions to everything else as you go along

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 34yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that pumpkinlove is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
yeah well im finally coming to terms that i deserve much better than how ive been treated by my ex. its so hard to let go because yeah ill admit im stupid when it comes to love. he can say so many mean things to me.. but then the next day he can hug me and say hunny youre awesome and that, to me, makes all the bad things temporarily dissappear in my mind for a while.

ive been staying with my parents, which is lonely but i think id rather be lonely than hurt and ignored.

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""if you can\'t handle me at my worst, then you don\'t deserve me at my best.\""
 33yrs • F •
Bubba is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
pumpkin love-

that's good you left him- and that's good your calling him your ex- cos that shows that you no longer see this guy as a potential.

scums who degrade their other halves with abusive language shows one particular flaw that they have- INSECURITY.

he's only doing it cos he's got no control over his life that he wants to control yours. You either tell him how it is and he makes the effort to change otherwise you stay at your parents and save your tears for happy occasions for when you get married to someone who keeps that smile on your face

No one deserves to be bullied especially by someone they consider spending the rest of their life with- be strong girl

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"If the door is closed jump through the window"
how much is too much to take?
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