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NO

User Thread
 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zyphon is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
NO
i need to learn how to say no but in a nice way. and to ask the person i really like.

my last several girlfriends are the ones who have asked me out one is the one i talked about on one of the other forums who told the wholse school then me. but i never seam to be able to tell them that i like them as friends. and the girl that i really like has moved me from the position of friend to a kind of honorary brother. that was way to far for me but when she asked do you mind if i call you brother? i just said i dont care. i was so freakin stupid i was about to ask her or atleast i thought i was going to.
any advice please help?!

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"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Once you are in the brother/best friend category, your job becomes a lot tougher in demonstrating some sort of sexual attraction. If you understand that she will feel a bit weirded out by any advance that isn't just a friendly one then you will be ahead of the game. So, how can you tell her you like her as more than a friend without her ending up running away in terror? Be VERY kind to her. Do lots of little things like writing notes or emails that say you are just thinking about her or that you wanted to tell her you hope she has a good day. Make little gifts for her... pretty much anything will do, like a piece of paper that says Hello and has a stick figure lol. She will probably ask why you are being so nice to her, at which point you should just be very honest and tell her you think being together might be fun/nice. If she doesn't ask after a couple of weeks then just make another gift that expresses how you feel and see how she reacts.


As far as saying no goes, it's very situational but if you are just upfront and take a big breath before you tell them how you feel then it wont be bad. You can't die from simply being honest.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 64yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Chiron is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
I think Wyote gives you excellent advice. But as far as as taking a deep breath and giving an honest NO, I would suggest that this might be better practiced at home or among your mates first until your own sense of self is more fully intact.

Teenage girls with a love interest can be tricky creatures to negotiate with, and an outright NO will likely result in claws drawn and repercussions.

And since your difficulty in saying NO seems grounded in not wanting to offend..(which is wise in these waters, imo) I would suggest you skirt around the issue 'girly-style' by telling those that lay claim to you as their boyfriend that: you see them as being just like a sister to you.

That way as Wyote says, you kill the romance, but at the same time you let them down slowly. Then your notes and single picked flower messages to the right girl will get you steering things in the direction you would like them to go.

Good luck, it sounds like you are quite the sought after dish-of-fish, lol.

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 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zyphon is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
[/quote]Teenage girls with a love interest can be tricky creatures to negotiate with, and an outright NO will likely result in claws drawn and repercussions[quote].

yeah i tried saying no once and lets just say that there was some pretty words said that i didnt think i would hear from her. then all of her friends did a militia thing and started spreading rumors about me. that sucked.

wyote i have tried the be really kind do things for her go outta my way drive her home even though im not supposed to and tons of things but every time i do she gives me a hug and says love ya brother!

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"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"
 36yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Wyote is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Being nice/Doing nice things for her as opposed to actually giving her LOTS of little gifts are two totally different concepts, though they may seem the same. If you are just doing things for her or telling her everything she wants to hear whenever she wants then you are just being a tool and she wont respect you for that.

You have to be very aggressive and upfront. Girls respect that.

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"A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. - Thomas Carlyle"
 32yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Sky1234 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
As for rejecting, for my past experience in generally,i would say to the girl:
"I like you, i like you very much as a friend, but i think of us nothing more than a friend, if somewhere in the past i was somewhat being misleading, i am sorry."

but to escape the "brother-sister" love, i have no experience to that...sorry
----hope that help----

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"Beware of the dog"
 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that zyphon is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
well. im not her tool because i dont do everything she wants me to do. i be myself around her. And yes she does sometimes get ticked because i dont do everything she wants. i did try to tell her once but she said, and i quote verbatim "ahh your like all my other brothers, taller than me! not fair why are all of my brothers taller than me"

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"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"
NO
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