who should i be with?

who should i be with? [+ favourites]

I was married for 5 years to a lovely man had 2 gorgous kids to him and 1 from a previous relationship nothing was wrong wit the relationship just i felt he cud ave made more effort to involve the child who wasnt his biological son & the bore of mundain married life.
My sister introduced me to one ov her friends & we seemed to hit it off i talked to him alot on msn & met him a few times behind my husbands back (i know this was wrong) i felt i was falling in love wit this guy & he said the same,to cut a long story short my husband found out left me & moved on wit sum1 else for a few months until just recently hes told me he always loved me & always will & would like to try again.
As for the "other" man hes amazing with my kids, lovely to me but is 7 yrs younger hes only 22 i think i do love him but cant decide wether im in love or lust were as wit my husband i get on wit him tremendasley we take the kids out for days together would it be possible to fall in love wit him again i really dunno wat to do i dont wanna make the wrong decision again!

you seem to be falling in "love" quite easially. so i think you should make sure that it is actually love you are feeling because you seem to be "loving" your husband one minute and then "loving" the other next.

if you loved your husband so much why would you go behind his back with someone else and start falling in love with them.

You're probably thinking that i cant say that its your fault for falling in love but it is.

You can have a friendship with a guy. You meeting him behind your husbands back is what made it more because you liked the lust and started falling for him.

i say... leave them both. or just stick with one.

you cant go back and forth like a yoyo though. its not fair on either of them to just be your beck and call.

"Jingle ALL the way!"

Well I'm all for monogamy. I should probably declare that from the out. But I have to wonder what's going on here. You fell 'out of love' with your husband and sought romance else where? Or you simply found another guy you found attractive and started seeing him?

Personally I think it's a mess. You have a husband who clearly loves you, you have an established connection to him and I think you still feel that connection otherwise you wouldn't be here asking us this. On the other hand you've got this other man who right now is probably quite committed to you and is going to be very upset to lose you back to your husband. I think I'd probably chose the husband but then it's not a situation I'd find my self in. I suspect this is a huge mistake where you've used this man to try and fulfil some emotional need your husband used to but didn't so well latter. I think you should try to rebuild the relationship you had with your husband which is based on commitment and put away the one with your love which I suspect was based on your emotional need. In an ideal world you could all forgive and forget and he and your husband could be friends. I doubt that will happen though.

But please what ever you do don't try polyamory. I know some one here is gona suggest it sooner or latter. I suspect it'd end up ripping all of you up inside.

I suppose it depends how far your lover has gone from being the live in lover to a permanent fixture. Maybe you do consider your self married to him in the sense of a committed relationship. If that's the case I might say stick with the lover but you need to be at a point to say you would marry him if you're going to think of him as a bigger commitment than your husband.