Do we all really become our parents?

Do we all really become our parents? [+ favourites]

I've noticed lately that all of my friends (and even myself) are becoming so much like our parents. Do we all subconsciously strive to become our father (if you're a guy) or our mother (if you're a girl)?

"You gotta walk that lonesome valley. You gotta walk it for yourself."

Whether people strive to or not, it happens in a loop-around way: Your reactions to their good and bad habits propagate the exact same behaviour in you, to other people. So even of them being nice to you pisses you off, you will in turn be nice to others. Similarly, if them being abusive to you hurts you, and you wish for them to stop, you will become abusive because of the fact that it hurt you.

You don't have to become like your parents. But it naturally happens that way and you need to take intelligent precautions to prevent it from happening if you don't want it to.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

I agree that parents that are nice and parents that are abusive probably effects if you are abusive or nice to other people. But more interesting to me is that interests themselves seem to be inhereted to the children. For instance, my dad plays guitar and likewise I play guitar. My friends dad plays guitar and is into cars and likewise my friend plays guitar and is into cars. Does anybody else notice things like this with friends?

"You gotta walk that lonesome valley. You gotta walk it for yourself."

You'll naturally be intrigued and have a propensity to be attracted to things that were attracted to your parents. But this is much weaker than habitual traits because your environment will also present lots of stimulus that will pique your interests.

Feasibly, you wouldn't be interested in washing penguins just because your dad is into that, because it's not in popculture. But playing the guitar has lots of perks and is "cool" in the world you live in now, so you have two influences towards it.

What would be interesting would be to find a trait that is opposed in modern popculture that a parent has, that you have, which makes it clearly inherited. My guess is, this is rare and generally a fluke occurance, unless the parent took an active interest in involving the child.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

quote:

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unless the parent took an active interest in involving the child.

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"The Restless Mind - The curiosity of intellectual infancy"

i am the complete opposite of my mother. even after becoming a mother myself. maybe it was because i was basically on my own at 15 and kind of formed my own personality. but i do see myself do some of the same things my mom did with me, like what i feed my daughter and how i dress her. but that's just lifestyle.

"free country my ass."

I think it's kind of ironic that I was raised in a mostly crummy - semi abusive - don't really care about you home and because of that, rather than making me all spiteful and turning out like my parents, I went the complete opposite way and that pushed me to love and care about everyone I know.

My sister, on the other hand, she did take the route of becoming something I've just recently gotten away from. negativity.

"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"

Another factor that plays into you becoming your parents is approval-seeking. If you are sub-consciously looking to receive positive feedback and acceptance from one or both of your parents, you may end up wanting to do things that you see them enjoying.

"Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time"

A very nice topic. I would never want to be like my parents. No matter what! I feel proud to have my own character. Like others mentioned, you like it or not, the character has already slipped into you, probably a bit. Sometimes I get scared thinking I might end up being like them. No! I want to be a better person and I WILL BE A BETTER PERSON.

Sorry, if this post didn't make real sense

Of course we all share similar trademarks to our parents, we are produced from their genetic makeup. However, genetics along with environment, experience, relations, occupation all contribute to our personal ideology. Therefore allowing us to achieve our own personal identity. Any being of intelligence would take the positive characteristics of our parents and use them to our advantage while eliminating the negative. Doesn't that coincide with the theory of evolution in itself? However, some people are ignorant to this matter because they are simply unaware. Awareness is key. Maybe im insane but i'm always down for improvement upon myself. My parents being two of the most prevalent human factors i can grow from.

"Remain in the nowhere else. be here."