Not Cumming

Not Cumming [+ favourites]

Im an 18 year old male who isnt for some reason able to cum. I am able to eventually after about a few hours. But this problem of mine is ruining relationships, as being young, most of my relatinships are based around sex... and its unfufilling. Most girls dont last as long as I do, so they think I am not attracted to them... Its hurting me my longest lasting relationship just ended a week ago and I have been distraught. Im not sure if our sex life ruined it or it was me (which I doubt because I was real good to her). So what can I do to improve my timing... like maybe down to hour perhaps, any other guys with good advice would be appreciated.

Are you on any medication?

"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"

It's physical or psychological... what do you think it is?

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

Im not exactly sure. The actual physical contact is rather pleasurable, it just doesnt get me over that hump to cumming, So im assuming its psychological which I think Is kinda odd...

The reason being is because when I am having sex Im not thinking of anything... my mind is blank most of the time... Im not having any anxieties or worries... so I am confused as to why it takes me so long... (and no meds, and most of the time im not using a condom, risky, yeah but I have never came with a condom on, ever)

Never had any sort of invasive groin surgery? Even in the distant past? No dermatological problems on the penis such as mild callousing from lack of moisture for instance?

It could be psychological. It's more common than you’d think. A lot of virgins lose their erections during first intercourse due to nerves. Still it’s good to rule out the physiological too.

Does masturbation take forever too?

"The Greatest Enemy of Knowledge is Not Ignorance, It is the ILLUSION of Knowledge. Stephen Hawking"

maybe you should go to your doc and get some horomone pills to get you horny

"Why kill the bumblebee when your the pain in the ass?"

Ok well I lost my virginity when I was 16 and I would say I have had a lot of sex since then.

There are no callouses or anything physically wrong with my penis.

And when I masterbate my usual time is about an hour and a half, but sometimes when Im real horny it could take up to an excess of 4+ hours.

As for lack of libedo? My last girlfriend made fun of me a lot over the fact at how easily Im excited. I have become quite skilled at hiding an erection.

Maybe im hopeless....

The only physiological things I can think of is occasional lost of sensation due to circumcision and prostate surgery you see. You could just have a congenital deformity of the nerves or it could be psychological. In the latter case I've got no idea but then we really don't have much to work with.

I appreciate the reply Codewarrior but I am not looking for a "reason" why I am not climaxing, but a few suggestions that may get my time down to a reasonable time.

I have had no surgeries nor any physical damage done to my penis, there may be something wrong with my nerves as they may not be as sensitive as a normal males but I doubt that because I still am getting pleasure so I am assuming its psychological.

I was not sexually abused (I was physically and mentally though, possibly related but I doubt it) My home life is pretty unstable, and I am a lackluster student with little drive or ambition... I dont fear consequence and I dont overcomplicate things, Im very clingy and possessive and I am a generally optimistic person...

Im not sure if any of that helps but I thought I would ejaculate that out for your analysis (hehe)

Could it possibly be posible that you are worried about kids?
Unstable house conditions with you so you worry about a replica of that happening with you? Could be a kind of subconcious thoughts?

"sad is the heart that loves. its usually broken"

I personally don't think there is anything unnatural or wrong with your situation if you enjoy it the entire time.

You should consider the repercussions of trying to speed up something that your body wants to take its time doing.

And (I hate to bring this up) but you're pretty young and the girls you are screwing probably want to get screwed as quickly as possible. It's not really about the sex, which is the stupid youthful mentality.

As you get older and cum quickly over and over and over you'll realize that it takes a lot of effort to relax your mind so that you can actually enjoy sex for a long period of time.

That being said, it wouldn't hurt to be able to cum quickly at your leisure if that's what you want. But then you're basically trying to condition yourself in a way that is unnatural, that most people eventually desperately try to get away from.

Here's a suggestion: Try to hump something (in private of course) like a couch arm or something of the sort BEFORE you get an erection. Make sure it is soft so it doesn't hurt and hard enough to prevent blood from rushing there. Think of a fantasy or something, and see how it works.

"Hating everyone protects me from elitism."

To be honest I'd prefer a man to last as long as possible as I take forever to climax. As long as you are enjoying the sex and you are 'in love' with your sexual partner there shouldn't be a problem, if you are just having sex for the sake of having sex and there is no emotional involvement or attachment with the other person, I don't think its going to happen for you. You are young, give it time. Believe me, sex is not the b all and end all of having a satisfying relationship.

""Each child holds the world in an open hand to mould it into any shape they choose.""

u siad that u dont really think about anythin? well y dont u think about tits....or think damn this is so good...the less u think aout it, the longer it would probly take lol. mayb, if u did a girl when whaching porn. lol...that could speed it up my friend

"no shit!!...and..I do what I want"

I honestly couldn't tell you what's goin on but I think the psychological aspect is a good guess. In all honesty i think you have to ask yourself if you would rather be a premature ejaculator or be able to last a hell of a lot longer than a lot of guys. My final comment is that your 18, life right now shouldn't be all about sex, you said some of your girlfriends left you or whatever because of this, i promise you that your wife wouldn't! If you want to get around this little problem for a while try not having sex. Who knows, maybe you haven't fully matured in a physical sense enough becuase you became active in the prime of puberty. Personally I'm a virgin and I can guarantee you that you can live without sex until marriage and that girls will respect you for respecting them.

fireangel

"May wisdom flow through my mind, and love burn in my heart"