30yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that MugenNoKarayami is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
||and interesting trip
to say the least. last night, I embarked on a magical adventure with my good friend " mary ". unbeknown to me, I was extremely unprepared for the things she was going to show me...
I thought this was going to be our normal happy-go-lucky evenings with "mary" and laugh til I couldn't breathe. But as the single frames in time moved forth, I began to realize, she was taking me somewhere different...
On this special night, she was taking me on an adventure of self exploration rather than an exploration of what I perceive around me. It was quite interesting when I started babbeling random facts or theories of how we perceive things and how when at different levels of perception. Most of the night I was an 'oral fixation' so It was a little hard for me to concentrate on what I must have been thinking... for those of you who know what I mean, you'll get where I'm coming from.
Although I was under the influence, my sober friends who are also well informed about the psychology of ' sober people ', I was making more sense than they could comprehend... it was as if I could sense the rate at which they were attempting to process the endless information I was sharing with them.
Which was also funny, but a little off track, at first, it felt quite like a normal trip. the regular symptoms: frame-by-frame movement, ability to sense each organ and function in my body, altered sense of touch, deeper thought, lower octave in speaking, things like that...
It seemed the more intellegently my friends were talking, the more I thought I had to keep up with their assumed level of comprehension, so when they stopped, I was still going; rising more and more...
I know this sounds a little crazy, but I also had a thought about how you all might be thinking at this very moment because you can already assume that I'm going to explain it to you. See, when you're at such a lower perception level, things that you cannot comprehend seem 'impossible' and since I have no way of proving or you disproving me, it puts me in a little bit of a predicament.
and Since I'm not at my highest level of perception anymore, it's kind of hard to explain right now. all I can do for the moment is feed off my memory as how I think I remember the instance rather than directly experiencing it.
My 'higher' thought process, thankfully, is still lingering in my subconscious allowing me to recall such information. And since I cannot tell whether or not I'm making sense because I assume I'm speaking from a high perception indirectly thinking whether or not you'll be able to comprehend this.
I know there are a few of you who will be able to see through this clutter of rambling and 'see' what I am actually saying to all of you, as my friends have done last night..
it's a little easier verbally, because you're processing my voice first rather than reading, thennn processing the voice in your head, I found out that it takes a few moments for one at that level to comprehend. don't take that the wrong way though. by few moments, I clearly mean longer than I would have been able to process it at my state of mind.
I think I should stop for right now though, because I do believe I have typed out quite the kook.. there is plently more that happened if you wish for further explaination, hopefully I will still be able to recall such information for the inquirer..
my brain hurts.. :'( [ damn you mary]
"I'm a human being, God Dammit!! My life has value!!!"