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 35yrs • M •  A CTL of 1 means that PneumoniaHawk is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.  |
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Oxy Moron |
This is a song I wrote for my band. Critique?
OH, AS HISTORY UNFOLDS
WE DIG OUR GRAVES
AND SAY OUR GOODBYES X3
WE SPEAK FOREIGN TONGUES
THIS IS NO GAME!
Gone to war,
as glory fades
strayed bullets X2
grazing heads
and taking lives
ONE MONTH IN
WE GET THE CALL
"HE DIDNT MAKE IT,
HE WAS LOST ON FIELD"
"we're terribly sorry."
As Glory FADES!_______________________ X6
Gone to war
glory has faded
strayed bullets
took his life.
As Glory FADES!
(Uppercase = screaming) (Lowercase = singing)
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35yrs • F A CTL of 1 means that vigil is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
It makes some sense to some extent and though you are getting sooome kind of message across, I feel that it is being overly repetitive. Honestly, I got bored just reading its lyrics.
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35yrs • M • A CTL of 1 means that PneumoniaHawk is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
First song I've ever written.
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"You get custody, I get your life."
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35yrs • F A CTL of 1 means that vigil is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
Well there's my honest feedback.
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35yrs • M • A CTL of 1 means that PneumoniaHawk is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
Thank you, I appreciate it.
At least I know what to change now, for my next song anyway.
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"You get custody, I get your life."
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36yrs • M • A CTL of 1 means that Cynic-Al is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
when u sing it, record it and put it on you tube and then in the music videos section so we can tell you what we think with a tune as well
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"So Schrodinger's Cat is not only neither dead nor alive, but might also be sexually aroused by elbows and peanut butter?"
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35yrs • M • A CTL of 1 means that PneumoniaHawk is a contributing member of Captain Cynic. |
Will do. Actually, we should be recording some time this week.
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"You get custody, I get your life."
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