36yrs • M •
BB-Misc is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
||Are you aware?
Are you aware from the moment we first met, I always knew there was something special between us. You managed to take away the pain I felt from my ex, and you gave me a whole new meaning to life. From the first time I added you to MSN, and we exchanged pictures I immediatly knew you would be someone special in my life. We talked about meaningless crap, yet it seemed so much more, I hung on ever word you typed and I still do to this very day. I waited for you to come onto MSN every day just so we could talk some more and nothing, yet at the same time everything.
We then began to get closer, and we'd flirt. Everytime we flirted my heart would soar, and I'd be the happiest person alive. When I was dating Still_Skinny, you'd be there, supporting me. When she broke my heart you were the first to jump to my defence, and show that you were a true friend. You showed to me that you cared, something which very few people have showed me before.
We fougt before, over Kaikagome. Becuase I chose her over your true friendship, and losing you for those few days that I did nearly killed me. Everytime you'd usually sign onto MSN and didn't my heart would break. I'd feel a pain inside that I've never felt before. Silent pushed her into talking to me, and she did, and she agree'd to visit after Silent worked his magic. I made a mistake when I was talking to her, and she hated me afterwards, and I always thought 'Why the **** did I say that?' I thought I had lost it all. I thought I lost her and I thought I lost you. But today I realise why I made that mistake. I realise it was fate that made me say what I said. It was fate that made me mess up things with her so I could have my chance with you. A chance I thank the heavens for every single day. If anyone is wondering, the thing I said to her that made her hate me so much was 'You sound like a man, are you a peadophile trying to rape me?'
No joke, I actually said that to her.
Anyway, I messed things up with Kai and I was depressed. I had lost the both of you. Yet for some reason during my infactuation with her I could nto stop thinking about you, I don't know why but I couldn't. I couldn't get you to talk to me either, so I did the only thing I could do. I got drunk and attempted suicide, at which point yuo decided to talk to me again.
My heart began to soar again, and I was the happiest boy in the world once again.
After that we got close again.
I finally got the nerve to ask you to be mine, you said yes.
My entire body tingled with joy when you said yes. Nothing could compare to the feeling of pure happyness I felt when you said that simple three lettered word. My world was perfect again.
Then the catch came. You told me things I that shocked my entire world. One night you told me one thing, and my heart smashed. I went to bed thinking about it all night. I woke up the next morning thinking 'It's me she fell in love with, I don't care' then you told me the huge bombshell and my world crumbled around me. I thought 'Could it be true? The girl I love so much has all these...things hidden from me?' I went to bed that night shaking. I couldn't believe it. I blanked it out for a few weeks, thinking it wasen't true then I came to terms with it. With any other girl something like that would have made me not talk to you again, but for some reason something inside was telling me to carry on. So I did.
And to this day I do not regret any of the choices I have made regarding you.
I thought I knew what love was when I met my ex, I now know that I was wrong. Very wrong. Love is what I have with you. Love with not letting the fact that an ocean stands in our way, nor the fact that your mother and your ex hate me. Love is the feeling I feel when I see you sign on. Love is the feeling I feel when you send me a message. Love is the feeling I feel when you call me. Love is the feeling I feel when I see you on webcam. Love is the feeling I have when I wake up in the morning knowing you'll be there with me in less than two months.
Love is the feeling I have you for, and will never have for anyone other than you in my entire life.
Skippy, I give my heart, my soul, my life to you.
I can't offer you much, but all I can offer is myself.