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You Said (An old poem i found again)

User Thread
 33yrs • F •
SimplyImperfect is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
You Said (An old poem i found again)
its an old poem..its how i felt..but yea..read and uh..enjoy enjoy i guess..comments welcome

You Said


You said you loved me,

You said you cared,

You said when I needed you,

You'd always be there.



I have a funny story,

That i\'m willing to share,

About a girl,

And her mom who was never there.



It all started when,

That girl turned two,

Her mother was caught on tape,

Saying 'I'll always be there for you'



Now lets fast-forward,

13 years or so,

That girl is now fifteen,

And feels that her mother loves her no more.



Now every time that girl,

Would cry to her mother,

Her mother would ignore her,

And run to her brother.



She tried to talk to her mom,

But her mom never seemed to care,

And when the girl needed her most,

Her mother was never there.



That girl soon realized,

That her mom had lied,

And when she figured this out,

She curled into a ball and cried.



Just one week,

Before her sweet sixteen,

Her mother had declared,

That she no longer cared.



She was going to ignore daughter,

On her daughter's upcoming birthday,

And when her daughter heard of this,

She decided to go away.



That girl started planning,

Her own sad death,

That at 12 am on her birthday,

She'd take her very last breath.



When that day came,

She pretended nothing was wrong,

Because she wanted her friends to last see her happy,

For she knew she wouldn't be here for long.



That night right before bed,

She kissed her family and said her goodbyes,

She told them she loved them,

And while walking away wiped the tears from her eyes.



She wrote a final note,

Full of pain and sadness,

Telling her loved ones,

That she needed to end all the madness.



So she sat on her bed holding nothing but a razor,

She held out her wrists and cut them softly but deep,

After a sudden rush of pain she soon felt relief,

And she lay down in bed and fell fast asleep.



The time finally came,

when someone found her body,

And the first person to see her dead,

Was the first that treated her like a nobody.



Her mom found the note,

And read it out loud,

As tears ran down her face,

Her heart started to pound.



Her knees gave way,

And she fell to the floor,

She started to moan and weep,

And then that girl's father appeared at the door.



He looked at his wife,

Then at the lifeless body of his baby girl,

He then joined his wife's crying,

Because he just lost his world.



He took the note and on it,

It read,

You no longer have anymore problems,

Because you just found it dead.

And at the end,

Of her long suicide letter,

She told her loved ones,

That she know feels better.



You told me you loved me,

You told me you cared,

But when I needed you most,

I guess you weren't there.


~Janine~

| Permalink
"there\\\\\\\'s a fine line between loving and being IN love, loving happens all the time whereas being in love only happens once in a lifetime.Simply"
[  Edited by unknown1 at   ]
 36yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Attolia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
You've got some inconsistency.

"Because she wanted her friends to last see her happy,"

This line throws me off because it's just way longer than any of the other lines and the length is almost sudden.

Here's a challenge for ya. Try to express the same message in only 16 lines, or 4 stanzas.

| Permalink
"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"
You Said (An old poem i found again)
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