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Anti-Bush Jokes (or related)

User Thread
 27yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that Attolia is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
Anti-Bush Jokes (or related)
Let's follow the American tradition of making fun of our President and his administration! Post jokes here!

The President, First Lady and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One.

George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a
$1,000.00 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very
happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied "I could throw ten $100.00
bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10.00
bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his
co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Hell, I could throw all of them out of
the window and make 156 million people very happy."

(I hope the feds don't come after me for this joke.)

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"How can we be just in a world without mercy and merciful in a world without justice?"
 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that wormtownandy is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.

During a propaganda tour, President Bush visits a school to explain his politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions. Bobby stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 3 questions":

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist attack of all times?

Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave the room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions. Joey stands up and tells him "Mr. President, I got 5 questions":

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you still won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don't you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist
attack of all times?
4. Why did the recess bell ring 20 minutes early?
5. Where's Bobby?


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 25yrs • F •
A CTL of 1 means that spiderz is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
lol

five people were on a an areoplane that was gona crash. osama bin ladin, a young boy, george bush, micheal jackson, and the queen of england.

there areonly 4 parachutes. the queen of england declares that england needs her and grabbed a parachte and jumped out the window. m.j sed the world needed him 4 his music and also grabbed one. so now osama, the lil boy and george are left. george bush says, that the world needs him as he is the most intelligent man on earth and grbs a parachute and jumps out the window. now thers only one left. osama says, my life is in the hand of god, u take the last parachte. the lil boy replies itz okay, coz the most intelligent man on earth just took my backpack.


man.. i luv that one.

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"There is a thin line between bravery and stupidity"
 29yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Das Kapital is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
President Bush was visiting a primary school and he dropped in on one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy".

So the illustrious leader asked the class for an example of a "tragedy." One little boy stood up and offered: If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him that would be a tragedy."

"No," said Bush, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy."

"I'm afraid not," explained the president. "That's what we would call a great loss."

The room went silent. Not other children volunteered. Bush searched the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?"

Finally at the back of the room a small boy raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: "If Air Force One, carrying you and Mrs. Bush, was struck by a "friendly fire" missle and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy."

"Fantastic!" exclaimed Bush. "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," said the boy, it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss and it probably wouldn't be a fucking accident either."

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"To wish for death is a coward's part." [Timidi est optare necem.] Ovid"
 25yrs • M •
987 is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
It is January 21, 2009 and George W. Bush is no longer President of the United States. An old man walks up to the White house and says to the Marine standing guard "Can I go talk to President Bush?"

"Bush is no longer President, don't you know?" the marine says, and the old man leaves.

The next day, he comes back, and asks "Can I go talk to President Bush?"

And the Marine replies "Bush isn't president anymore, I thought I told you that yesterday". And the old guy leaves again.

The next day, the old guy comes back and asks "Can I go talk to President Bush?"

The marine is getting worried, and asks "Why do you keep asking me this? I've told you twice, Bush isn't president anymore."

The old guy says "I know, I just can't hear it enough."

The Marine salutes and says "Well, see you tomorrow."

-first post!

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 33yrs • M •
At a CTL of 2, Chained Wings is a full member of Captain Cynic and is a consistent participant in discussions.
The trouble with Political jokes... is that they get elected!


Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing.

He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!"

His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits, head in hands.

Finally, the President looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"

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"When I was a child I flew! Then as an adult- I watched others soar."
 26yrs • F •
passion4poetry is new to Captain Cynic and has less than 15 posts. New members have certain restrictions and must fill in CAPTCHAs to use various parts of the site.
George W. Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the door to the first room. In it was former President Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. Nixon kept diving in and surfacing gasping for air, then immediately diving back into the water again over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell.
"No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and I don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room. In it was British Prime Minister Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No way! I've got this problem with my shoulder. It would be constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George.
The devil opened the third door. In it, George saw former President Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for awhile and finally said, "Yeah I could handle this."
The devil smiled and said . . . "Monica you're free to go..."

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"Never underestimate the power of words"
 25yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that Ajax271 is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
George Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him.

"You look like Einstein, but you have no idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?"

Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear.

Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed.

"You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven!"

The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead."

Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps.

"Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!"

The last to arrive is George Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"

Bush looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"

Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."

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"\\\"Discretion in speech is more than Eloquence\\\""
 19yrs • M •
A CTL of 1 means that forgottentruth is a contributing member of Captain Cynic.
What were George W. Bush's three hardest years? Second grade.

Why is Dolly Parton jealous of Washington D.C.?
It has two of the biggest boobs in the world -
Bush & Dick

What's the difference between George Bush and a chimpanzee? One has nearly the mental abilities of a human child and the other likes to eat bananas.


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"All we see or seem; is but a dream within a dream. - Edgar Allan Poe"
Anti-Bush Jokes (or related)
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