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Dark. Darker. Darko. Life is one long insane trip. Some people just have better directions. What would you do if you knew the future? _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the entire Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick? ________________________________________________ Frank: Wake up Donnie... I've been watching you 28 days... 6 hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds... that is when the world will end _________________________________________________ Gretchen Ross: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something. Donnie: What makes you think I'm not? Gretchen: You're weird. Donnie: Sorry. Gretchen: No, that was a compliment. _________________________________________________ Donnie: Ling Ling finds a wallet on the ground filled with money. She takes the wallet to the address on the driver’s license but keeps the money inside the wallet. <Scoffs> I-I’m sorry Mrs. Farmer. I don’t get this. Kitty Farmer: Just place an X on the Life Line in the appropriate place. Donnie: No, I mean I know what to do, I just don’t get this. You can’t just lump things into two categories. Things aren’t that simple. Kitty: The Life Line is divided that way. Donnie: Life isn’t that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love. Kitty: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions. Donnie: Okay. But you’re not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can’t just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else. Kitty: If you don’t complete the assignment you’ll get a zero for the day. __________________________________________________ Donnie: Do you want your sister to lose weight? Tell her to get off the couch, stop eating twinkies and maybe go out for field hockey. You know what? No one ever knows what they want to be when they grow up. You know it takes a little, little while to find that out, right, Jim? And you... yeah, you. Sick of some jerk shoving your head down the toilet? Well, you know what? Maybe... you should lift some weights, or uh, take a karate lesson and the next time he's tries to do it, you kick him in the balls. Jim Cunningham: Son... DO YOU SEE THIS? This is an Anger Prisoner. A textbook example. DO YOU SEE THE FEAR, PEOPLE? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places... Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I. . .and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fucking Antichrist. _________________________________________________ Elizabeth Darko: Donnie, you’re such a dick. Donnie: Whoa, Elizabeth! A little hostile there. Maybe you should be the one in therapy. So Mom and Dad can pay someone $200 an hour to listen to all your thoughts, so we don’t have to. Elizabeth: OK, you want to tell Mom and Dad why you stopped taking your medication? Donnie: You’re such a fuckass! Elizabeth: What?! Rose Darko: Please. Elizabeth: Did you just call me a “fuckass”? Rose: Elizabeth, that’s enough. Elizabeth: You can go suck a fuck. Donnie: Oh please tell me, Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck? Elizabeth: You want me to tell you? Rose: We will not have THIS at the dinner table. Donnie: Please, tell me... I'm all ears. Samantha: What's a fuckass? __________________________________________________ Grandma Death: Every living creature on this earth dies alone
"The summit is just a halfway point"
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