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thinking things out does help, but in the case of your friends, the one you described as thinking about it clearly, has the advantage of objectivity, he didnt love the girl, and wont miss her like his friend does. he can think clearly because he didnt get hurt, embrace the pain, but dont let it engul you.
"So Schrodinger's Cat is not only neither dead nor alive, but might also be sexually aroused by elbows and peanut butter?"
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